Coda Josh Grant

Steve stayed all weekend. He slept in my arms, we kissed, touched, caressed, licked, gazed. He's warm and smooth and comfortable. He's hot and sexy and he tastes good – all of him, from top to bottom. It was just the two of us. Being. Hanging out. The rest of the world seemed to fade away somewhat. You and me. You know, in the end that’s all you need. Just one other. Someone special beats all of those slutty boys, easy. I’ll trade you a whole pile of your for-sex boys for my one for-love boy. Any day you like. His face greeted me first thing, there on the pillow. Sometimes his eyes were shut, sometimes open, it didn't matter. Beautiful. Made me smile, I have to admit it. His smile makes my heart beat harder. His shape, silhouette, form makes my cock beat harder. He's sweet. He's nice. He's adorable. He's easy, in all senses of the word. I didn't get scared once. Not once. Not at all. I never thought, oh go away. I never thought, I want to be ...

Evan took all his clothes off and said photograph me, so I did. He's kind of shy, is Even, but when he gets a nose full of something he becomes quite uninhibited in a sexy kind of way.

The door bell sounded. Barp! Late afternoon, Sunday. Pippa, Tommy's mum, was at the door. I'd had a few red wines by that stage and wished I hadn't answered the door, to tell you the truth. What rushed through my mind as I stood with the door open. What are you doing with my son? Do you have designs on him? What do you mean by getting him drunk? Was I ready for this? I wasn’t sure. "Hi," said Pippa. She was as breezy as you like. "I just wanted to come over and um...have a chat with you." "Cool," I said. My stomach turned, as I stepped back and out of the way of the door. “Is now convenient?” "yes, sure. Come in." We headed to the lounge. I offered tea, which she declined. “I love your place,” she said. “You’ve got a good eye...” I laughed. She did too. I meant that she was great with design, I didn’t mean I was. I'd helped her hang a painting in her lounge once. She sat down on the couch. I sat opposite her. We ...

I got hammered with Nick, last night. We went out to a bar and drank, not my favourite way to get hammered, but none the less. It was what it was. I was thinking about Steve, I don’t know what Nick’s reason was? Lovely Steve. I wanted to tell him I wanted to have a relationship with him, but not monogamous. I wanted him to be mine, and me to be his, you know, for the most part, but not exclusively. I wanted to think about how we had got to this stage with each other. And what, going out with Nick to a noisy bar, you think is an odd way to go about it? Sometimes, I think I need a distraction to take my mind off the subject/problem at hand, to be able to make a decision about that subject/problem. Stop thinking about it, and the answer comes to you. But, you know, I wasn’t completely sure what the problem was? What? I tell Steve I don’t want to be monogamous and he replies that he doesn’t want to see me anymore? When did it become a problem to state one’s needs? And if he said th...

It's Camo when we're all just being mates. It's Tino when he is being a smarty and speaking French. It's Snako when we're at a club with a nose full of something. He will answer to any of them.

Tommy, who lives over the road came over, straight after I got home, his parents are working interstate for a couple of days, be back at the weekend. He’s nice, friendly, outgoing. Dark hair, green eyes, broad shoulders. His mum is Italian, he gets his looks from her. He's a bit of a live wire. He said he’s glad schools over, even if he enjoyed it. He’s waiting to go to uni, he says he can’t wait. He’s studying law like his mum and dad. They are both partners in their own law firms. He came over, last week, when it was hot, in just a pair of white shorts. He's lean, athletic. He wanted to know if he could do anything for me. Big smile. His mum sent him over because I'd helped her out with some stuff. She sent him over to repay the favour. Do some work in my garden. Pull some weeds. I stood and perved at him, he knew it. “Um… let me see.” I held my gaze on him. He shuffled on his feet. “Oh, I don’t know?” I did know, I had just got a new Cannon SLR camera and I wan...

Ewan having a loose moment in the bathroom. I thought he was unravelling completely, but as soon as I started things there was seriously something wrong, he smiled his cheeky smile and said, "Got ya."

Do you think it really matters? You know, any of this?  He waves his hands around.  Anything you can think of,  hands in the air , we construct a value.  A $ value.  Does anything that matter?  A construct?  Really? Eight hundred million years we've evolved, which makes my life or yours seem pretty insignificant, hey? Blink. Over.  And we fake what is important. We just don't matter, the cold hard truth. Fashion is king. What is in. We slavishly follow that. And not what is real. And soon we won't be here... more cold hard truth. So, in the mean time, we should enjoy ourselves. Show me ya wozza! Ha ha.  Out the back, later. Wink. Show me your heart.  Look inside.  What you feel, not what you think. Should we be clever? Or lovely?

"Tongues?" "Tongues!" "Swap spit?" "Swap Spit!" "Now?" "Now!" "La, la, la, la la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la." "La, la, la, la la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la." "La, la, la, la la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la." "La, la, la, la la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la." "Ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga" "Ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga"

I told my brother Daniel I was gay, when I was 15 and he was 16. He looked at me, then his forehead creased. “So, you’ll have a boyfriend and not a girlfriend.” “Yes.” “And everything else will be the same? “I don’t see why it wouldn’t.” “So, it will be… just like we get another brother?” “I guess.” “Cool.” He was the first person I told, we're only 10 months apart, we've always been very close, so, it never occurred me not to tell him stuff. Me being gay it just never seemed to affect the two of us. We were really best friends, we used to tell each other everything. “If anybody gives you a hard time, you let me know.” We are still very close. Daniel is a big hunk, a sexy man. I’ve always been proud of my sexy brother. He has hung out with my gay friends on occasion. Several of my gay friends have had crushes on him. Nick adores him. Daniel has that not-shy straight boy nudie thing going on. I think it must be a part of the straight boy gene, most of the...

Jerry stood with his back to the wall waiting for the doctor. The Sargent had barked "strip off and stand against the wall," pointing to which wall he meant. Then he left the room, leaving Jerry on his own. So, Jerry stripped off and pushed his back against the wall. Then, nothing. Nobody else entered the room. The sergeant didn't re-enter the room. Jerry was left standing naked with his back against the wall.  The room was empty. The walls were white. After a while all Jerry felt was cold feet.

Steve came over and stayed the night, something about his flat mate having a party and only drop kicks were going to be present. He laughed and said something about us now being married and it didn't fill me full of fear, or make me laugh and think, yeah, as if. I didn't want to push him away. In fact, I thought, okay, yeah, alright I'll marry you, before I could stop myself, before I could think. Of course, I didn't say the words, I didn't say it out loud, I didn't say it to him, there is safety in silence, after all. I woke early and Steve was in my gaze as soon as my eyes opened. I was surprised... oh yeah... not alone. Then I just looked at him, in his sleep, in the stillness and he looked beautiful, handsome. I touched his jaw line with my fingertips, gently, so as not to wake him, even though I was feeling horny for him. I slipped a finger under his nose and felt his gentle exhales, that was cool... feeling his energy when he doesn't know he's givi...

Steve and I went and got tested. He seemed more nervous than I had anticipated that he would be. We went in together, heard the results at the same time. Both negative. Both free from any STD. When we got home, Steve wanted it, as a form of celebration he said, right there and then. So, I pumped cum up his arse really deep and hard, right there on the lounge room floor. The last semblance of guilt about doing the bareback thing gone. Steve down on his knees, just spit for lube. He was so excited, his teeth chattered. Then we made a promise that we would only ever have raw sex with each other. Then we did it again, kind of slow and tactile. Holding him tight in my arms, his legs around me as we kissed the whole time we screwed slow and rhythmically. Steve wanted to keep my cum up his arse for the rest of the day.

I met up with Mick, recently. I haven't seen him in a while. Ages. I don't think I've talked about him before? Mick's German, but we can't hold that against him, as he says. Chuckle. "Just because people think I sound American..." He learned English in New York, when his father worked there when he was a young kid. He's big, 6 2 and strapping. Blond. Germanic. He's amazingly handsome in that perfect skin and teeth, no blemishes kind of way. He came to Australia when he was a teenager, early teens, when his father was transferred here for work. I met him at uni, he was one of my mates. He’s a great guy He and I messed around after a uni drug party in the union once, its how I found out he could be fluid with his sexuality. We were high. He had been drinking, I’d been drinking. It was early Sunday morning with no one to hold. I remember… it, well. Then a couple of old queens paid us to play like pups on a rug once, also in our uni days....

My mate Gordon gives the best New Year’s Eve party. Woa! My heads still spinning. I took Nick with me, he’s in worse shape. Gordon is an old school queen, everything is "my darling" and "my dear." Big throat clutching hands, lots of innuendo. He’s quite flamboyant. I once asked him why and he said, “Because I don’t give a rat’s arse darling,” he said. “They took away my rights, they tried to take away my love and then when everything seemed to be turning around and we’d all found our place in this world, along came a bloody big virus which took away more than half of my friends. Sweet, I’ve seen it all and there’s nothing left they can do to me now.” He laughed his hearty laugh. “Fuck ‘em if they can’t handle this joke.” “You’re not a joke...” “You are sweet, my dear. You always have been.” Gordon is now very wealthy and he has this great house with views of the bay, just made for parties. He says there is no great secret to his wealth. He started off in retail str...