Coda Josh Grant

“So, how did you go?” “I don’t want to talk about it,” says Jason. “So, you struck out?” “Chicks be crazy, that is all I’m going to say.” Jason held his palms up in mid air as if they were his shield from any further discussion. “You can’t be straight boy sexist and think you can just leave it there.” “I can too,” says Jason. “You should just be thankful you like fellas, that’s all I want to say.” “Tell me.” “Let’s just work out, huh?” “How are you going with the two guys?” “I’d rather not talk about it.” Jason laughed. “Which one do you like, quick?” “Ben.” Oh shit. “I don’t remember one of their names being Ben.” “It’s not.” “So? What I’m confused. Who is Ben?”

“What was wrong with you last week?” asked Jason. “I was going to ask you the same question?” I replied. “You weren’t talking.” “Bullshit don’t put it on me.” Jason pulled his concerned face. “I just thought it was me.” “No, it wasn’t you.” “So you were pissed off.” “No I wasn’t,” I said. “Well, whatever, as long as it wasn’t me,” said Jason. “I don’t care if it was just you on your rags.” “Come on, lets go do some aerobic.” “You are such a girl,” said Jason. “Humour me,” I said. “We all need cardio.” Jason rolled his eye. “Sure, okay, Joselyn.” He was in his tight, red footy shorts, so I tried to get behind him, but I think he was on to me, besides, it would seem pretty odd if we weren’t side by side. “The chicks dig you, you know,” Jason said afterwards. “What?” “Didn’t you notice them looking at you?” “No.” “How can you not?” I shrugged.

Despite wanting to catch up, or at least saying he wanted to, it just never quite happened with Rowan. Girlfriend, kid. Kid, girlfriend. Didn’t have the time. Was busy. Not enough hours in the day. Girlfriend. Kid. Can’t get away. I promise I will. Kid. Girlfriend. Yeah, okay, I know you have a girlfriend and a kid.  I get it. He was nervous. I get it? I remember the process. “Can’t make it, sorry.” Okay, I get it, enough. Have a nice life. Somethings aren't meant to be. Pussy, I thought. Then, I laughed at myself. The guy has a partner, and I prise honesty above everything else. What was I like. So, I decided to be devious.  He said he loved exercise, it showed he was in great shape. And the more I thought about it, the more I wanted some of it. If just for sentimental reasons, maybe? I remember Rowan was great sex. I remember him being a really enthusiastic sexual partner? He liked it all. He would do all of it. He had a really nice, thick, todger. Was that just because I wa...

I found Rowan. It was one of those chance meetings, almost 10 years after we’d lost touch.  I was out at a gay bar drinking with Nick, and Nick had got lucky and left with some guy.  It was late, and I had nothing to do the next day, so I just stayed sitting at the bar. Note for any reason other than it was one of those nights when I was just too lazy to walk my lazy arse home. So, I drank. People came and went. The bar was busy, then it wasn’t so busy. The barmen were efficient. It is kind of a lonely vigil sitting at a gay bar on your own until the late hours, when you don’t want anything from anyone. Eventually, I was contemplating heading home. Some guy bumped me, I looked around to see who the clumsy arse was, he mumbled some apology, and it was Rowan. “Hey!” said Rowan “Hey!” “Fuck me!” “Straight to the point.” “I wasn’t expecting to see you.” “No,” I said. “I wasn’t expecting to see you.” “What are you doing here?” “Drinking,” I said. “Er, being gay. You?” “Um, er, meet...

I used to go watch Rowan play footy for Kew. He played for them after we left school. He looked hot in his small white shorts that hugged his beefy arse, framed his muscular hairy legs, and cupped his big bulge. He had muscular guns in his sleeveless jumper. He was just one of the lads as he hung with his mates, all slapping each other’s arses after a win. We all drank beer afterwards and the rest of them talked about girls, as I caught Rowan's eye and he'd smile at me momentarily before he’d join in with the other’s girl talk. It was mostly bullshit on his part, and he’d occasionally smile slyly at me just to confirm the point. He’d be all macho, dig the chicks as one of the boys, I used to love it. A tough handsome kid. Then he’d say quietly, “Do you want to suck my cock?” quietly, keeping his eyes on the other lads making sure they didn’t hear hum. Then he’d blush at the clandestine nature of our small talk. He looked adorable when he blushed. Then I'd be sucking his big...

It's funny thinking about Rowan. He was fiery and passionate and beautiful. An eastern suburbs boy. A tough, footy playing, beer swilling, straight as they come, with straight brothers, but not straight at all, lad. We kind of had a special bond, right from the start at school. Rowan was always kind of ‘play’ picking on me. He was always being ‘faux’ mean to me. He was always gravitating towards me and including me it his circle. I never really thought about it at school, that was just Rowan. It wasn’t until that chance meeting in the city a year, or so after leaving school that he admitted that he was always attracted to me. “I knew it from the first time I lay eyes on you,” he said. “I just had to wait for you to catch up.” After that, we’d meet up for day time movies, where we’d meet kind of furtively. We’d pick unpopular sessions with little attendance and we’d sit up the back and have our hand down each other’s pants as soon as it went dark.  We’d be back to his place, or mine...