There Was Something

It's funny thinking about Rowan. He was fiery and passionate and beautiful. An eastern suburbs boy. A tough, footy playing, beer swilling, straight as they come, with straight brothers, but not straight at all, lad.

We kind of had a special bond, right from the start at school. Rowan was always kind of ‘play’ picking on me. He was always being ‘faux’ mean to me. He was always gravitating towards me and including me it his circle. I never really thought about it at school, that was just Rowan.

It wasn’t until that chance meeting in the city a year, or so after leaving school that he admitted that he was always attracted to me.

“I knew it from the first time I lay eyes on you,” he said. “I just had to wait for you to catch up.”

After that, we’d meet up for day time movies, where we’d meet kind of furtively. We’d pick unpopular sessions with little attendance and we’d sit up the back and have our hand down each other’s pants as soon as it went dark. 

We’d be back to his place, or mine, when nobody else was home and we’d be pulling each other's pants off as soon as we could.

He seemed so alive and his extended family seemed so nice going on around him. They didn’t have a fucking clue about their boy.

They loved me. They thought I was funny. They were all so earthy, in away. They called me Rowan's boyfriend, even though they never suspected. We were both kids in their eyes. I was just Rowan's buddy. School friend, that's how he passed us off. 

We spend hours in Rowan’s room undisturbed.

“I guess I’m just going to live on my own,” said Rowan.

“What if you never found love?” I’s say.

“What if I am married, what then?” says Rowan.

“Then I guess you’d be married,” I say

“What if I was married... boys cheat, they all do,” says Rowan. “You'd come over to my place and we’d fuck and feel no guilt. Guys don't feel guilty about that stuff,” says Rowan. 

“If it involves their cocks,” I say. “They don't care about anything else,”

“Could we be married and still have, um, what we have,” says Rowan.

“Maybe, I guess,” I say. “Even if I don’t really know how that would work?”

“Except, I don’t think wives,” Rowan made parenthesis in the air. “Like that sort of thing.”

“No, I don’t think they do.”

“We could hide it,” says Rowan.

“Could we hide it forever?” I’d say.

“We could,” says Rowan.