Coda Josh Grant

This is it. There is nothing else after this. There is only this. This is our one shot, don't mess it up. You don't get another. No virgins. No heaven. No next life forever more. No, none of that. I stood upright, with my arm extended in the air like a super hero As it's over, everything is over, never to come again. Only what is coming, will come. The only thing you have control over is your positioning at this very moment. So, I stood like a super hero being in the moment. You can choose what you get. To an extent. And the best way is to be happy. Content. In a random world. Choose life. Choose happiness and everything else will take care of itself. I stood up right, tall and proud, being in the moment. “Whatcha doin’?” came Beth’s voice from somewhere behind me. “I’m being Captain Right Now, can’t you tell?” “Captain what?” “Right now. Captain Right now,” I said again. “Oh well, good job,” said Beth. “Point your fingers towards the sky.” “Will that help?” “It won’t hurt,...

People talk, don't they. “Yap, yap, yap.” I must be getting intolerant? I went to the post office and had to stand in line for quite some time, as there was quite a queue, stupid me for going in during lunch time. And these two in front of me never stopped talking, not for a second. There wasn't even a pause. They didn't even seem to draw breath. They just kept on yakking until I wanted to say, “oh, shut up!” I guess that is what, intolerant, is there another word for it? People are annoying. Like death and Taxes. And whiney people. No, the irony isn't lost on me. Inconsiderate people are right up there. The closed minded. People who fall for conspiracy theories. People who swear the obviously untrue is true. And the talkers. Oh, the talkers. I left the post office. I crossed back over the street. I thought about going to a Vipassana retreat just to detox the world. That kind of made me smile. Me? But then you have the problem of organised religion. And detox is bullshi...

I was at the top of Bourke Street, nearly at Spring, heading to the Windsor to meet Nick for dinner. Nick loves all that grand dining what have you. I’m never so convinced. So, Nick is always taking me some place for dinner to convince me that grand dining is, in fact, the way to go. I couldn’t help but think of that HR manager I once worked with who said the Windsor was full of asbestos, and half closed up because of it. I have no idea if that is true, but that is what she claimed. I was attempting to make my way through the people and the outdoor tables on the foot path just before I turned into Spring Street. The people and the tables were many, the spaces in between were limited. It felt not unlike a slalom course. A handsome Indian guy standing there, smiled, tilted his head, stepped sideways, and swept his hand in front of himself for me to walk through before him. He looked me in the eye and smiled, as I hesitated.  “Come on,” he said. His beautiful eyes twinkled, his lips p...

We were in the beer garden, it was really late. Collingwood. I was there with Tim. Nick was there. Murray and Bruno were there. Mike was there. Evan was there, so was Carl. Josh and Trent. Carl is the shy one. Evan, I think, still claims to be straight, despite the number of male lovers he is racking up. We were all seated except for Bruno, who is as cute as a button and loves the attention. He was standing in front of us all, wearing a pair of chaps and a pair of jocks and a vest over a bear, chest. We were all off our faces. Oh occasionally I indulge. I never said I'd stopped altogether. I'm sure I didn't. Murray turned to me and said quietly, "Watch this." "Okay," I said. My eye lids were heavy. The next thing, Murray grabbed hold of the side of Bruno's jocks under his chaps and pulled the front sideways. Bruno's cock and balls fell out. Bruno has a great cock, fat and uncut. But, at this stage, it flopped out all small, but st...

I only ever see god when I am looking down another man's foreskin, that ring at the very end, that tightens and loosens on demand, is the gate way to heaven.

My mate Nigel has great legs, well, being a runner, gives him great legs. All that training he does has really paid off, in the aesthetics department.

I learned long ago that all men are, pretty much, bisexual, especially the younger generations who haven’t been so fucked up with religion, or outdated social norms. I know those with god are always trying to reduce Kinsey’s percentage down from 10% to, something like, 1%, but, actually, in reality I thing that the percentage would head the other way substantially, if the truth was known. I’ve always found straight boys very accommodating, especially when drunk. Alcohol seems to be the bisexuality key for strapping males. That old saying is not far from the truth. What is the difference between a straight boy and a gay boy? 6 beers. I think the old farts who wrote the bible probably knew men were no different to animals when it came to sex, they evolved that way, they were made that way for the survival of the species, and the inclusion of such non-male fucking clauses were political, more so than spiritual. Remember, when the bible was written there were no antibiotics, penicilli...

I get to the gym today and Jason is standing with a serious looking 40 year old chick in expensive workout clothes. "Hey, Josh, this is Maud. Maud this is Josh." “Hi,” I said. She looked familiar to me. "This is Josh, he's as gay as Xmas," said Jason. Clearly thinking he was being clever. I give him a look. “I don’t know why Xmas is gay?” I say. “It’s like everything, gays want to claim it,” said Maud. “Seriously? Did you just say that?” I said. I couldn’t let it pass. “Well, it’s true isn’t it,” said Maud. “It’s not true,” I said. “I reckon it is,” said Maud. “Really,” I said. “Can you give even one example?” "Don't I know you?" She suddenly asked. "I hope not," I said. Maud Goodman, I thought, I know who she was. Special Counsel with a fierce reputation. “Josh, perhaps we should start,” said Jason. He looked nervous. “Did you work on the Crew case?” she asked. “Yeah sure,” I said. “I advised them on employment issues.” “How to reduce th...

Nick called me excited about someone he’d met out drinking on the weekend. “Her names Madge, and she’s cool.” “Out drinking with a girl on a Saturday night?” “Well, lovely boys attract lovely girls.”  I always translated that as Nick saying, hot boys attract hot girls. “Are you going to tell me her full name is Madonna?” “No.” “No, her name is Madge,” said Nick. “You’re odd sometimes.” Her house always had a peculiar smell, now I recognise it as booze and fags. “Sadly, are you going to tell me she is, what sixty nine?” “No, thirty, she’s a scream…” “Is that too much booze?” “No, but we drank Brandy Crusta’s all night.” “Jesus! Brandy cocktails.” “Her favourite.” “Expensive tastes.” “And we smoked her menthol cigarettes  “You?” “She sneaked me puffs on her cigarette out in the smoking section.”  “Smoking hot, hey?” “You should try being nice, it suits you better. “Oh, Nick?” “We got legless and ended up back at my place playing backgammon.” “Did you have fun?” “She played ...

The honeypot. So sweet.  Attracts bees. Buzz, buzz, buzz. That can't control their feelings. Overcome by desire. Wishes so strong. Ultimately sticky. All over your hands.

I was looking at some old photos and at varying times I came across photos of Ben (a different Ben) and Daniel (a different Daniel), guy's I have shared a house with over time. Strapping Daniel with his movie star, dark-haired, good looks and his, alleged cock the size of a coke can. The boy who was such a top, with his great big schlong, that he hated anyone going near his pretty little arse. Daniel and I were mates and I never really wanted to do it with him. But, Daniel knew how to use his amazing good looks to his advantage and there were times when he'd use them on me, I think more out of habit that deliberately, that smile, the twinkle of his blue eyes, that I'd feel it, I have to admit. It was only on drugs that I fantasised about his giant cock. And cute, blonde Ben, who was such a lad, a western suburbs boy, with his cheeky smile and hot, hot arse that he liked nothing better than getting filled on a regular basis. He was a total bottom, from all accounts. I ...

People say I have this charmed life.  Well, Nick does, but he says it in a slightly derisive way. You know, how best mate can sometimes be envious and pleased for you all in the same way? Beth does, of course, but that’s because her life is tangled up in genius and she so often is trapped in it like a spider in a web. Amanda does, but that’s because she truly believes that I do because she truly believes I can do anything, because I am her progeny, and she thinks nothing but the sun shining out of me. She thinks the same about Daniel, of course. Matthew and Tim and Ben do because they all love me. Listen to me, will you? And all the time I feel like I never really fulfilled my potential. What am I doing with my life, I often ask myself? People think I have a wonderful thing going on, when all the time I feel a bit like a failure, to tell you the truth. Close to it. Around the edges, perhaps. What does success feel like? I nearly had it, I think, but then got tired of the cunts who ...

It was dark, and I was warm, and sleepy, it was the middle of the night. There was something, it brushed against my face. There was something again, it brushed against my lips. It was pushing against my mouth. It took me a moment to realise that I wasn’t dreaming, to realise what it was. Tim was standing there with his huge, hard cock pressing against my lips. I opened my eyes up to see his beautiful hard dick, his neatly trimmed pubes, his stomach, his chest, his handsome face towering over me. “I couldn’t sleep,” he said. I opened my mouth and his cock slipped right into my mouth, thick and hard and full of juice. It felt great, suddenly my mouth was full. I could feel it touching the back of my throat, almost pinning me to the pillow. I gagged a bit, it is big, I’ve told you that. He slid it in and out of my mouth. I sucked it like a baby would his mother’s tit. “Do you like that?” I grunted in response. He grabbed the back of my head and fucked my face. I got my hand to my hard coc...

What does it feel like to fuck Tim’s hot arse? Picture him, strapping, muscular, solid, bulging in his shorts, filling them out with his firm round cheeks, as we jog together down the street. Every mother’s perfect son, handsome, smart, athletic, but he’ll never give her the grandchildren of which she dreams. I see that as a good thing, there are too many people on the planet, anyway. Do you want to know what it feels like to be inside him? Between those tight cheeks? Inside that arse at which so many people take a double take. Look back and look back again. I could write all day about how great it feels to be inside his tight hole. And boy does it feel hot fucking his sexy arse. He likes it on his knees best, with me coming into him from behind, as his arse lips spread wide, with me inside. He grips tight, he moans with delight, as I push it into him, as he pulls his big cock frantically, as the juice wells up in him, as I bang it out of him, until he is gasping for breath, and callin...

Our blood tests came back negative. Good, huh. Not that I really thought that they wouldn't. What must it have been like in 1986 getting those tests done. Terrifying, I'd imagine. We just breezed in, with the advantage of 30 years of knowledge, not really a care in the world.  I was a bit nervous, I always am. Not that I thought the result would be anything other than what it was, but I am always a bit nervous with every one of "those" test. I just am, just am. Two guys with who I'd have unprotected sex, Matt and Tim. It was a calculated risk. I judge both of their stories, considered that they were telling the truth, and it turned out okay. I told Tim about Matt, near the beginning,  he shrugged. "That's okay, it's not likely, is it?" "No, not likely," I said. And that was that. "Exclusive unprotected sex from now on," said Tim. "Yep," I said. "Promise." "Me too," said Tim. I...

Lovely Tim. He is quite the hunk. He's quite the guy, who isn't shy about anything

I went to see Harry, the guy I met the other night at a party, he was very keen for me to go around. I kind of like the idea of a photographic journal of my life, not only take it down in words, but have images to go with those words. Who do I think I am, I hear you say? Why does he think he is so special, or that interesting? I don’t know about that? All I can do is provide what I know and other people, future generations will decide if it is interesting, or not. I’m just recording my bit for posterity. And isn’t everybody interested in their family and where they came from? Even if it doesn’t seem so important now, in 100 years if may be viewed differently. I reckon that is what I am going to do, photography. And what a way to start, with Harry. Don’t worry, I got it. Harry has an ulterior motive, I thought as I got ready to go. He’s old school queen, to who photos are something naughty. That’s okay with me, old queens were really kind to me when I first came out, like a bunch of pro...

Lovely Tim, he doesn't mind being my photographic model and play thing. He says he's always wanted to be someone's play thing.

So, Tim says he wants to be my Boyfriend, he kind of hinted at it, with a coy smile and searching eyes. He says he wants to have adventures, boyfriend adventures, with someone special. He says he doesn’t really want to play the field. He is pretty cool to hang out with, and he is hot. Sometimes, he will be just sitting there like last Sunday morning in his boxers. (The heating was on keeping him warm) I gave him his coffee while he was surfing the web. The news mostly, I wasn’t really taking so much notice of what he was looking at, but I was sneaking looks at him. Tim has such a nice face, which, I have to admit, I just want to kiss all over. He has a great chest, it can’t help but get my attention. He has awesome nipples and rounded pecs, which I like to rub and suck and squeeze. As my eyes move lower, I can see the perfect amount of hair leading down his belly eventually disappearing under the waistband of his boxers. His eyes look sideways at me. He smiles. “What?” The hair slides ...

Tim and I went and had blood tests. Daniel wasn't keen to do it, he said we should really keep "arm's distance..." "What the fuck does that mean?" "I'm too close to you," said Daniel. "It's better you go to someone who is neutral..." "Why are you trying to get out of this?" "I'm not. You are my brother. I shouldn't be treating you, not really." "Yeah, well, okay." "You have your own doctor," said Daniel. "Go see him." "Sure. Fine." "And Tim should go an see his doctor." "We want to go together." "How sweet." "Get fucked." I punched Daniel in the arm, he punched me back. "And you are still filling that boy's arse with cum." "Are you worried that the results will come back positive?" "No, not really," said Daniel. "I'm too close, it is better this way......