Time Off
We got dressed early the next morning, and headed out to breakfast with the guys.
It was all sunglasses and shiny faces. Daniel, Nick, Mike and Mick. Bruno and Murray met up for coffee.
We ate big breakfasts each. We were kind of quiet.
“I can’t,” said Murry.
“I don’t know how you can,” said Bruno.
We went to our hotel rooms and packed.
We caught a plane home.
5pm
I had some of Nick’s pot, so I rolled a j as soon as I got home. It bought all the drugs back a bit, but I have time off, so what the hell. I never have time off so I figured it was time I did.
Steve tut-tutted when I told him, over the phone. He'd never take time off unless he really had to.
Ben called and said he couldn't remember the other night that he stayed, but he was sure he needed to thank me for putting up with him.
"Ben, that was three weeks ago."
"Fuck me, it doesn't seem that long ago," said Ben. "Can we catch up weekend after next, Amy's going to be away."
"Sure, that would be good." I was pretty stoned by then, my inhibitions were down. "But, if you keep climbing into my bed drunk in your jocks, I am going to race you off one of these days."
"Yeah, fair enough. Fair call." Such a straight boy that Ben, when he's sober. He sounded like he thought I was kidding, sort of sounded embarrassed. He rattled of his reply like a machine gun. But, you know, there's something there, a hidden agenda, or something.
Is it my imagination?
Time to stop and look around. My contract finished Friday. They wanted me to stay, thought it was just procedure that I'd sign a new contract, an indefinite one, not the twelve month contract they put me on in the financial crisis. But I turned them down. The HR manager sat there with her mouth open.
"But, we want you to stay,” said Branda. “We've got a big matter lined up for you."
"I guess you should have put me on an indefinite contract twelve months ago, then." It just kind of came out, I didn't mean to sound so glib. I sounded a lot harsher than I intended to. But, then it was done. I didn't try to soften it. Ah well, I’ve said it, I thought. I held her gaze.
"Oh... well... um..." she stumbled. “What could we do to entice you to stay?" HR chicks, gotta love them, the biggest bunch of corporate PC drones there ever were.
A couple of partners took me aside and asked if they could do anything to change my mind. I got nervous then, I guess it was suddenly real. Stupid really. But, somehow, I held the exterior bright and breezy, even if the insides were beginning to shake and I simply thanked them nicely for the opportunity and told them I was going skiing. A lie, but they looked envious. Apparently, I will be missed.
And for the first time I don't have a job to go to. It feels great.
I've been working for nearly ten years, I've done pretty well. I've been paid well, I've saved my money. I've worked hard, it never occurred to me not to. But suddenly it is making less and less sense.
Suddenly, I don't care about what I'm doing. What am I working for? What, to put the kids through school? Ha, ha.
I'm going to take a break.
Steve asked me, “For how long?” when I told him I hadn’t renewed my contract.
He wasn't so wrapped with my, “I don't know,” answer.
Only Nick understood. I think his exact words were, Lucky cunt.
It was all sunglasses and shiny faces. Daniel, Nick, Mike and Mick. Bruno and Murray met up for coffee.
We ate big breakfasts each. We were kind of quiet.
“I can’t,” said Murry.
“I don’t know how you can,” said Bruno.
We went to our hotel rooms and packed.
We caught a plane home.
5pm
I had some of Nick’s pot, so I rolled a j as soon as I got home. It bought all the drugs back a bit, but I have time off, so what the hell. I never have time off so I figured it was time I did.
Steve tut-tutted when I told him, over the phone. He'd never take time off unless he really had to.
Ben called and said he couldn't remember the other night that he stayed, but he was sure he needed to thank me for putting up with him.
"Ben, that was three weeks ago."
"Fuck me, it doesn't seem that long ago," said Ben. "Can we catch up weekend after next, Amy's going to be away."
"Sure, that would be good." I was pretty stoned by then, my inhibitions were down. "But, if you keep climbing into my bed drunk in your jocks, I am going to race you off one of these days."
"Yeah, fair enough. Fair call." Such a straight boy that Ben, when he's sober. He sounded like he thought I was kidding, sort of sounded embarrassed. He rattled of his reply like a machine gun. But, you know, there's something there, a hidden agenda, or something.
Is it my imagination?
Time to stop and look around. My contract finished Friday. They wanted me to stay, thought it was just procedure that I'd sign a new contract, an indefinite one, not the twelve month contract they put me on in the financial crisis. But I turned them down. The HR manager sat there with her mouth open.
"But, we want you to stay,” said Branda. “We've got a big matter lined up for you."
"I guess you should have put me on an indefinite contract twelve months ago, then." It just kind of came out, I didn't mean to sound so glib. I sounded a lot harsher than I intended to. But, then it was done. I didn't try to soften it. Ah well, I’ve said it, I thought. I held her gaze.
"Oh... well... um..." she stumbled. “What could we do to entice you to stay?" HR chicks, gotta love them, the biggest bunch of corporate PC drones there ever were.
A couple of partners took me aside and asked if they could do anything to change my mind. I got nervous then, I guess it was suddenly real. Stupid really. But, somehow, I held the exterior bright and breezy, even if the insides were beginning to shake and I simply thanked them nicely for the opportunity and told them I was going skiing. A lie, but they looked envious. Apparently, I will be missed.
And for the first time I don't have a job to go to. It feels great.
I've been working for nearly ten years, I've done pretty well. I've been paid well, I've saved my money. I've worked hard, it never occurred to me not to. But suddenly it is making less and less sense.
Suddenly, I don't care about what I'm doing. What am I working for? What, to put the kids through school? Ha, ha.
I'm going to take a break.
Steve asked me, “For how long?” when I told him I hadn’t renewed my contract.
He wasn't so wrapped with my, “I don't know,” answer.
Only Nick understood. I think his exact words were, Lucky cunt.
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