Smoking The Peace Pipe
Steve, Nick, Ben and I did meth, you know, for Easter. We put in our money and got points instead of chocolate eggs. A gay boy’s Easter; first the sweetie then we all act like rabbits. Better in the short term, better in the long term, really, just the medium which could give trouble, I guess, not that I’ve ever had any trouble, only mid way through a weekend when you want more and you’re out. I’ve never had cravings for it at other times.
We smoked the peace pipe, the four of us, it's been a while. I love watching the crystals burn bright and the smoke start to swirl in the glass chamber. Everyone’s speech accelerated, twitches became more apparent, everyone’s enthusiasm increased dramatically, suddenly we were all talking over one another.
It was just the boys, Amy was in Sydney, feminist sex conference, or some such thing.
“Just another way of putting my balls in a noose,” said Ben.
We all think that Ben is the bottom in his relationship. He opens up when it’s just the guys, when his wife’s not around, he’s funny and smutty and daring. When Aim’s around he tends to be lost in her presence.
Just the gang.
Kevin was on an interstate drive – not that any of us have met him – according to Nick, otherwise he’d be... well, he left none of us in the dark, when he got down on one knee, stuck his arse in the air and imitated fellatio, alternately.
Steve was unconvinced, he’s so much a where-is-the-evidence kind of guy. "Does this... Kevin... really exist?" asks Steve. Steve is so less enamoured with Nick’s, shall we say, exaggerations. While the rest of us accept it as a part of Nick’s charm, Steve isn’t under the same spell.
Nick stops like a frozen moment. "And people say you're the nice one." Nick shrugs. "Fuck knows why?" He gets back to his feet.
"Well, none of us have met him..." Steve shakes his hands in front of him. He grimaces. “You know… ever?” Steve still looks like an angel even when he goes for the jugular in cross examination.
"And you won’t." Nick moved his head sideways, like an Egyptian, gazing at Steve.
"It's Nick's figment, who he entertains himself with at night home in his room." I say.
Nick gasps, et tu Brute. "Get fucked, the both of you."
"You two make a beautiful couple," said Ben. He was chewing and licking his lips with impunity by then, kind of like, a slobbery dog.
"Oh, don't encourage them," said Nick. “You just want to get into their pants, anyway.”
“No… I was just saying…”
“A sick straight boy flirt, if ever I saw… please!” said Nick, even more testily than any of us would have expected from him.
Ben blushed, yes he did. “Josh knows how I feel about him.” He gave that cute half smile, adorable, says so much and says so little both at the same time. Almost elfin submissive.
Steve looked at me and smiled at me smiling back at him. He saw it too. Nick didn’t as he was sitting right next to Ben.
“So, how’s your week been, Ben,” asked Steve.
Ben’s eye was twitching. “Uneventful.” He pushed what seemed like a huge tongue from between his lips, it licked upwards, then downwards, then one corner, followed by the other. “You know, just the usual shit, different day. Round and round. You know…” big eyes. “Just the same, nothing new. Wouldn’t you kill for something new to happen… even if… even if… just something.”
“Do you believe that you have your destiny in your own hands and you are responsible for it? Whatever happens, you have to make it so…”
“Not always,” protested Ben. “That’s not always true…”
“Always.”
“Nah, you can’t just say that. New age theory doesn’t hold up any better than old age theory.”
“You’re responsible, if you want something it is up to you to make it happen.”
“The story of a happy childhood,” said Nick.
“The priest used to whack me off every Sunday after mass,” said Ben. “I didn’t ask for that.”
We all looked wide-eyed.
“Do you think it scarred you?” asked Steve.
"No, it wasn't awful. What guy hates his cock being played with, and I didn't exactly have a line of them at thirteen."
“Beginners luck,” said Nick, monotone. One eye seemed wider than the other. He was chewing like a cow.
“A friend's mother fondled me at sixteen, when she was putting some SPF 30 on my back,” continued Ben. “She lay me down on a banana lounge and rubbed lotion on my back and my legs. She was pissed and I had on board shorts. She had her hand up my left leg. She told me what a big boy I had grown into, as she squeezed my hardon."
“I used to fanaticise about the husband of the family I used to babysit for in the last two years of college,” said Nick. “When he used to drive me home late, I so wanted him to reach across there in the dark of the car, as we covered the streets back to my place, and touch me.”
“And did he?” asked Steve.
“No.”
“She pulled me off, long and slow.”
We all looked back at Ben. He smiled. “Not that it took long.”
“I had it off with the captain of the football team for the last two years of my school life,” I offered. “We both had girlfriends, we used to meet behind their backs; my place when I had the house to myself, his place when he had it to himself, the car, the gold course, down behind the back oval at school, the public toilets at the municipal offices just up the road from school.”
"You had a girlfriend?" asked Steve.
"Oh yeah, just for a second, really. You know, gave it a go."
"I thought you came out at school?"
"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly mean to do that." I laughed at the thought. "Much to David..."
Steve looked at me quizzically.
"The captain of the football team."
"Oh."
"Much to his annoyance."
“I had sex with my cousin Rocco,” said Nick.
“Really.”
“You came to his wedding with me, your first big Italian wedding.”
“I remember… him.”
“He used to only fuck, no kissing, no sucking, no real touching, really.”
“Lucky you.”
Nick sighed. He laughed as if at a distant memory. “It was a bit brutal, really.” He licked his lips. “Suddenly, there in the dark. Sometimes, I was asleep and I thought I was being attacked in the night.”
There was silence, except for the rustle of twitching bodies.
We all looked at Steve, as if we had the same idea, at the same time. We moved like the Borg. Steve looked from one to the other of us and then back again. He seemed to shrink at our collective gaze. He looked small and vulnerable, not a usual look for him.
“You must have a story?”
“Yeah,” said Nick. “We’ve all shared.”
Steve’s face was red, there were two veins protruding in his forehead. One eye was blinking faster than the other. He chewed. He squirmed, unusually, his confidence shields were down. He seemed to have a dry mouth. “No, as Nick said, a happy childhood.”
“There must be something,” said Nick.
“There’s always something,” said Ben.
“Come on.” I tickled him, he jumped. I snuggled into his neck. “You got a story for us?” He smelt good, clean, washed, with just a hint of adrenaline. There was a hint of acid, fruity, bitter but sweet.
We smoked the peace pipe, the four of us, it's been a while. I love watching the crystals burn bright and the smoke start to swirl in the glass chamber. Everyone’s speech accelerated, twitches became more apparent, everyone’s enthusiasm increased dramatically, suddenly we were all talking over one another.
It was just the boys, Amy was in Sydney, feminist sex conference, or some such thing.
“Just another way of putting my balls in a noose,” said Ben.
We all think that Ben is the bottom in his relationship. He opens up when it’s just the guys, when his wife’s not around, he’s funny and smutty and daring. When Aim’s around he tends to be lost in her presence.
Just the gang.
Kevin was on an interstate drive – not that any of us have met him – according to Nick, otherwise he’d be... well, he left none of us in the dark, when he got down on one knee, stuck his arse in the air and imitated fellatio, alternately.
Steve was unconvinced, he’s so much a where-is-the-evidence kind of guy. "Does this... Kevin... really exist?" asks Steve. Steve is so less enamoured with Nick’s, shall we say, exaggerations. While the rest of us accept it as a part of Nick’s charm, Steve isn’t under the same spell.
Nick stops like a frozen moment. "And people say you're the nice one." Nick shrugs. "Fuck knows why?" He gets back to his feet.
"Well, none of us have met him..." Steve shakes his hands in front of him. He grimaces. “You know… ever?” Steve still looks like an angel even when he goes for the jugular in cross examination.
"And you won’t." Nick moved his head sideways, like an Egyptian, gazing at Steve.
"It's Nick's figment, who he entertains himself with at night home in his room." I say.
Nick gasps, et tu Brute. "Get fucked, the both of you."
"You two make a beautiful couple," said Ben. He was chewing and licking his lips with impunity by then, kind of like, a slobbery dog.
"Oh, don't encourage them," said Nick. “You just want to get into their pants, anyway.”
“No… I was just saying…”
“A sick straight boy flirt, if ever I saw… please!” said Nick, even more testily than any of us would have expected from him.
Ben blushed, yes he did. “Josh knows how I feel about him.” He gave that cute half smile, adorable, says so much and says so little both at the same time. Almost elfin submissive.
Steve looked at me and smiled at me smiling back at him. He saw it too. Nick didn’t as he was sitting right next to Ben.
“So, how’s your week been, Ben,” asked Steve.
Ben’s eye was twitching. “Uneventful.” He pushed what seemed like a huge tongue from between his lips, it licked upwards, then downwards, then one corner, followed by the other. “You know, just the usual shit, different day. Round and round. You know…” big eyes. “Just the same, nothing new. Wouldn’t you kill for something new to happen… even if… even if… just something.”
“Do you believe that you have your destiny in your own hands and you are responsible for it? Whatever happens, you have to make it so…”
“Not always,” protested Ben. “That’s not always true…”
“Always.”
“Nah, you can’t just say that. New age theory doesn’t hold up any better than old age theory.”
“You’re responsible, if you want something it is up to you to make it happen.”
“The story of a happy childhood,” said Nick.
“The priest used to whack me off every Sunday after mass,” said Ben. “I didn’t ask for that.”
We all looked wide-eyed.
“Do you think it scarred you?” asked Steve.
"No, it wasn't awful. What guy hates his cock being played with, and I didn't exactly have a line of them at thirteen."
“Beginners luck,” said Nick, monotone. One eye seemed wider than the other. He was chewing like a cow.
“A friend's mother fondled me at sixteen, when she was putting some SPF 30 on my back,” continued Ben. “She lay me down on a banana lounge and rubbed lotion on my back and my legs. She was pissed and I had on board shorts. She had her hand up my left leg. She told me what a big boy I had grown into, as she squeezed my hardon."
“I used to fanaticise about the husband of the family I used to babysit for in the last two years of college,” said Nick. “When he used to drive me home late, I so wanted him to reach across there in the dark of the car, as we covered the streets back to my place, and touch me.”
“And did he?” asked Steve.
“No.”
“She pulled me off, long and slow.”
We all looked back at Ben. He smiled. “Not that it took long.”
“I had it off with the captain of the football team for the last two years of my school life,” I offered. “We both had girlfriends, we used to meet behind their backs; my place when I had the house to myself, his place when he had it to himself, the car, the gold course, down behind the back oval at school, the public toilets at the municipal offices just up the road from school.”
"You had a girlfriend?" asked Steve.
"Oh yeah, just for a second, really. You know, gave it a go."
"I thought you came out at school?"
"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly mean to do that." I laughed at the thought. "Much to David..."
Steve looked at me quizzically.
"The captain of the football team."
"Oh."
"Much to his annoyance."
“I had sex with my cousin Rocco,” said Nick.
“Really.”
“You came to his wedding with me, your first big Italian wedding.”
“I remember… him.”
“He used to only fuck, no kissing, no sucking, no real touching, really.”
“Lucky you.”
Nick sighed. He laughed as if at a distant memory. “It was a bit brutal, really.” He licked his lips. “Suddenly, there in the dark. Sometimes, I was asleep and I thought I was being attacked in the night.”
There was silence, except for the rustle of twitching bodies.
We all looked at Steve, as if we had the same idea, at the same time. We moved like the Borg. Steve looked from one to the other of us and then back again. He seemed to shrink at our collective gaze. He looked small and vulnerable, not a usual look for him.
“You must have a story?”
“Yeah,” said Nick. “We’ve all shared.”
Steve’s face was red, there were two veins protruding in his forehead. One eye was blinking faster than the other. He chewed. He squirmed, unusually, his confidence shields were down. He seemed to have a dry mouth. “No, as Nick said, a happy childhood.”
“There must be something,” said Nick.
“There’s always something,” said Ben.
“Come on.” I tickled him, he jumped. I snuggled into his neck. “You got a story for us?” He smelt good, clean, washed, with just a hint of adrenaline. There was a hint of acid, fruity, bitter but sweet.
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