Fear In A Big Car

Evan and George and Ben and I headed out for dinner in Lygon Street.

We ate pasta and drank wine, too much wine really.

George had stories.

Ben was his gorgeous self.

Evan had another car he wanted to impress us with.

We were all a bit happy, wine happy, as we stood waiting on Lygon Street waiting for Evan to bring the car around. 

Then he was in front of us in an Alfa, of course. Evan collects Alfas. He restores them. This one was big, the biggest Alfa I’d seen.

“This is an Alfa 164Q4, I’ve been looking for one of these for ages.”

“It looks cool,” I said.

“Another old car,” said George.

“How many alfas do you have now?” asked Ben.

“Only three,” said Evan.

“Only three,” repeated George.

“I like it,” I said.

“Well, come on, get in,” said Evan.

George got in the front, Ben and I got in the back.

“I’ll take you guys for a test drive, this car is great, or at least its got good bones, and it will be great.”

We’d barely taken off when Evan pulled the car up again.

“Watcha doin?” said George.

“Wind down your window.”

“What?”

“Wind down your window.”

There was a pretty girl on the footpath.

“Hi,” said Evan.

“Hi,” she said. “What are you boys doing?”

“Heading home,” said Evan. “How about you?”

“Trying to get a taxi,” she said.

“Where do you live?” asked Evan.

“Oh, north boring.”

“My nick of the woods,” said George.

“You live in North Balwyn?”

“I do.”

“Get in, we’ll take you there,” said Evan. “We were going for a test drive anyway.”

“It doesn’t look like I’d fit.”

“Get in the back George.”

“Sure.” George got out of the car and got in the back next to me. 

“Oh no, I couldn’t,” said the girl.

“Don’t be stupid,” said Evan.

“Hop in,” said George. He held the door open. “Besides, it gives me an excuse to rub up against Josh.”

“Always promises from the Greek.”

The girl got in the front. “What’s your name?” asked Evan.

“Sophie.”

“Get out,” said George.

The girl looked around at George. “It’s kind of a common name.”

“And my sister’s name.”

“Oh,” said Sophie in the front.

“She lives in North Boring with me,” said George.

“I’m Josh,” I said.

“I’m Ben.”

You know, the funny thing about fear is that all those places and situations that women avoid through fear of being, you know, being in danger are all the same places and situations that gay men, and to a lesser degree straight men place themselves in, in the hope of getting sexually gratification.

Chicks wouldn't normally get into a stranger’s big car because of fear, where gay guys get into stranger’s cars all the time.

Was Sophie the exception, or was she naïve.

“Seatbelts on,” said Evan.

Then we took off up Lygon Street at a great rate.

“She goes well,” said Evan.

“I can see that,” I said.

We turned down Princess Street and shot along Alexandra Parade at speed.

All I could really hear was the occupants of the car sucking in breath.

“She handles great too,” said Evan.

By the time we hit the freeway we were flying. Everyone was silenced by fear in Evan’s big, new car he was driving it so fast. Clearly the need to impress us all far exceeded the fear of getting a speeding ticket.

“It’s very quiet,” said Ben.

“And very fast,” said George.

“What do you do Sophie?”

“I’m a lawyer.”

“Oh no, groan, said George.

“Why do you say that?” asked Sophie.

“Everyone in this car is a lawyer,” said George.

“Really?” said Sophie. “Is this what lawyers do on a Monday night.

“I don’t work as one,” said Evan.

“Me either,” said George.

“So, what do you guys do in lives after law?” asked Sophie.

“Investments,” said Evan and George together.

“I’m between jobs,” I said. “But I was at Hacks.”

“I’m at Gertrudes,” said Ben. “Oh wow!” We were passing everyone on the freeway.

“I’m at Dank Allan,” said Sophie. “This car is fast.”

“I’ve heard good things about Dank Allan,” said Ben.

“This is a great car,” said Evan. “Or, at least it will be.”

“Do you invest in cars?” asked Sophie.

“Yes, but it’s not my main investment portfolio,” said Evan.

“Turn off here,” said Sophie.

Evan took the turn off without slowing down at all, it would seem. George, Ben, and I sucked in breath. 

Sophie lived on Tower Road.

“This is me,” said Sophie.

“Not a bad address,” said George.

The big Alfa’s tyres squealed as we did a u turn and headed back in the direction we came.