Me and Nick
Nick has the week off. We planned a catch up on Monday. But he thought I was still down the beach. I thought he was coming over on Monday, but he didn’t, show. So, then it was today. I thought he was coming for lunch, but he arrived early.
“Hi slut,” said Nick, as I opened the front door.
“Luv.” I get gayer around Nick than at any other person in my life.
“So, you are back from the beach?”
“I was back on Sunday night.”
“Well, I’m not a fucken mind reader, dohl.”
“I’m sure I told you.”
“You are sure you have done a lot of stuff,” said Nick. “Have you had the early dementia detection test lately?”
“Have you cleaned out your ears, lately?”
“Cotton buds should not be inserted into the ear cavity…”
“Lots of things shouldn’t be inserted into cavities…
“Hey, voila!” Nick pulled a bong from the bag he bought with him.
“OMG! We’re teenagers again.”
“I know,” said Nick. “Isn’t it fabulous.”
“Where did you get it?”
“Oh, sad story, I had to sack an employee who had it at work.” Nick made a sad face. “But good for us.” Nick made a happy face.”
Nick made a mull and packed the bong. He had the first cone.
Nick coughed, and spluttered smoke everywhere. “So hun, Steve?” It seemed like smoke was coming out of every one of Nick’s orifices.
“What about him?”
Nick re-packed the bong.
“Where is he?”
Nick handed me the bong.
“Gone to Sydney.” I lit the cone and sucked hard. I pride myself on being able to suck down a whole cone without coughing, but it had been a while since it had been tested.
“When’s he coming back?”
“I don’t reckon he is.”
“What about you two?”
“Over.”
“I’M SORRY, WHAT?” Nick did one of those head flicks and arm swishes.
“Over, Done, Caput…”
“WHEN?” Large alarmed eyes.
“Three weeks ago.”
“And when were you going to fucken tell me?”
“Well, I haven’t told anyone yet…”
“And when did I become anyone.”
“I’m telling you now,” I said. “You are the first person I have told.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Jesus Fuck!” said Nick. “Why have you split up, for fuck sake?”
“Apparently, I haven’t been putting in the required amount of effort.”
“Well…” Nick raised his eyebrows and titled his head sideways. “You can be very selfish, you know…”
“Thanks for the show of confidence?”
We sat mindlessly in front of Foxtel. Play Misty For Me was on.
“Oh, fuck me Jesus,” said Nick when the famous knife scene came on. “I’ve got people at work who I suspect are capable.”
Early afternoon Nick called a taxi.
“It’s been rich and real queer.”
“Here, take this with you.” I held up the bong.
“Not on your life, Nancy, that can’t be in the house when the police come.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Oh, the guy at work will no doubt challenge the termination,” said Nick. “They’ll probably want that as evidence.”
“Then why did you bring it here.”
“I wanted to see the look on your face.”
“What?”
Nick shrugged. “What can I say, I’m incorrigible.”
A car horn sounded. “That’s me luv, gotta go see a man about a hog…”
“What?”
“I can only tell you what he’s told me.”
“Huh?”
“See ya.”
“By Nick.”
I organised all my bills, something I find much easier to do when I am munted, and then I went and pay some. Wednesday, beginning of December, it’s amazing how the weeks fly by. I staggered legless to the post office.
Then I watch porn for the rest of the day.
Tommy came over after running, sweaty in his little black shorts. He smoked cones with me, I taught him how. He told me that Angelo was a rampant sex maniac, which he liked, even if it was exhausting. Then he had a shower. I’m not really sure why. Maybe, it was all that talk about sexy Angelo?
“Hi slut,” said Nick, as I opened the front door.
“Luv.” I get gayer around Nick than at any other person in my life.
“So, you are back from the beach?”
“I was back on Sunday night.”
“Well, I’m not a fucken mind reader, dohl.”
“I’m sure I told you.”
“You are sure you have done a lot of stuff,” said Nick. “Have you had the early dementia detection test lately?”
“Have you cleaned out your ears, lately?”
“Cotton buds should not be inserted into the ear cavity…”
“Lots of things shouldn’t be inserted into cavities…
“Hey, voila!” Nick pulled a bong from the bag he bought with him.
“OMG! We’re teenagers again.”
“I know,” said Nick. “Isn’t it fabulous.”
“Where did you get it?”
“Oh, sad story, I had to sack an employee who had it at work.” Nick made a sad face. “But good for us.” Nick made a happy face.”
Nick made a mull and packed the bong. He had the first cone.
Nick coughed, and spluttered smoke everywhere. “So hun, Steve?” It seemed like smoke was coming out of every one of Nick’s orifices.
“What about him?”
Nick re-packed the bong.
“Where is he?”
Nick handed me the bong.
“Gone to Sydney.” I lit the cone and sucked hard. I pride myself on being able to suck down a whole cone without coughing, but it had been a while since it had been tested.
“When’s he coming back?”
“I don’t reckon he is.”
“What about you two?”
“Over.”
“I’M SORRY, WHAT?” Nick did one of those head flicks and arm swishes.
“Over, Done, Caput…”
“WHEN?” Large alarmed eyes.
“Three weeks ago.”
“And when were you going to fucken tell me?”
“Well, I haven’t told anyone yet…”
“And when did I become anyone.”
“I’m telling you now,” I said. “You are the first person I have told.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Jesus Fuck!” said Nick. “Why have you split up, for fuck sake?”
“Apparently, I haven’t been putting in the required amount of effort.”
“Well…” Nick raised his eyebrows and titled his head sideways. “You can be very selfish, you know…”
“Thanks for the show of confidence?”
We sat mindlessly in front of Foxtel. Play Misty For Me was on.
“Oh, fuck me Jesus,” said Nick when the famous knife scene came on. “I’ve got people at work who I suspect are capable.”
Early afternoon Nick called a taxi.
“It’s been rich and real queer.”
“Here, take this with you.” I held up the bong.
“Not on your life, Nancy, that can’t be in the house when the police come.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Oh, the guy at work will no doubt challenge the termination,” said Nick. “They’ll probably want that as evidence.”
“Then why did you bring it here.”
“I wanted to see the look on your face.”
“What?”
Nick shrugged. “What can I say, I’m incorrigible.”
A car horn sounded. “That’s me luv, gotta go see a man about a hog…”
“What?”
“I can only tell you what he’s told me.”
“Huh?”
“See ya.”
“By Nick.”
I organised all my bills, something I find much easier to do when I am munted, and then I went and pay some. Wednesday, beginning of December, it’s amazing how the weeks fly by. I staggered legless to the post office.
Then I watch porn for the rest of the day.
Tommy came over after running, sweaty in his little black shorts. He smoked cones with me, I taught him how. He told me that Angelo was a rampant sex maniac, which he liked, even if it was exhausting. Then he had a shower. I’m not really sure why. Maybe, it was all that talk about sexy Angelo?
Comments
Post a Comment