Coda Josh Grant

“I’ve got something to tell you.” “What?” “I don’t think you are going to like it?” “Have you been lying all the way along?” “Yeah, kind of?” “I knew you were too good to be true.” “Oh, it’s not that bad.” “What is it then?” “Now you have got me nervous.” “Spill your guts,” I say. “And this had better be good, because I kind of like you.” “I don’t know how to say it.” “Is it that bad?” “Kind of…” “Then just say it…” “But I like you too.” “Is that it?” “No.” “Okay, what is it then?” “Wow, this is the serious side of you that I haven’t seen yet.” I raise my eyebrows and wait. “I’m straight.” “What?” “I’m a straight boy…” “You weren’t very straight the other night, in fact not at all.” He raised his eyebrows and his hands into the air. “I liked it.” “Have you got a girlfriend, is this what this is about?” “No, I am single.” “Is that true?” “Yes.” I exhaled and laughed at the same time, I couldn’t help it. It suddenly seemed ridiculous. “What?” “Nothing.” “No, come on, what?” I shrugged. “...

Ah Jamie. Sexy Jamie. He is such a lovely, sexy guy. He really is cute as the proverbial...

It’s funny, I feel like I’m walking lighter, springs on the soles of my shoes, it makes no sense really. How old am I? How old do I feel? It’s lovely, really. Stupid, of course. It’s connection. It’s fresh air. It’s regeneration. Light begets light. Souls connect. It’s spiritual. Sex and adoration does you good… makes you feel good. That’s what they don’t tell you kids. It makes everything seem better. I don’t want to keep him, well I don’t think, but it’s nice to have someone you feel that you could keep. Besides he’s cute. James. He's nice, really nice. He came over last night, saying something about liking me. Blush. It was late. "You are going to have to take it slow," he said. "Sure." I kind of liked it, a boy who wants to be woo'd. “I can take it slow.” "I'm nervous." He laughed. "To tell you the truth." I took him by the hand and led him to my bedroom. I pulled off his shirt. Dam, he has a nice body. I kissed him. he kissed bac...

I had a quiet night at home ahead of me, which I love. House to myself. Daniel-san had gone out with Mike with a couple of girls who Mike had procured from somewhere, who knows, you know Mike. It was to be a blind date for Daniel, which he laughed about as he left the house. Mike and some girl he, apparently, liked and some friend of hers. "I hope she's nice," said Daniel, grabbing his bulging jeans as he reached for the front door. "I'll happily give her a bit, I could do with some." "You should never go out with a loaded gun, Daniel." "Bullshit, that's why I'm going out." Then the house was quiet. The TV was on mute. The stillness fell over the furniture, the room and hung in the air only broken by the cat meowing for her dinner. I fed her and slid my bowl of lamb shanks into the microwave, Daniel's specialty since he has discovered the slow cooker. I ate my dinner and flicked through the channels of rubbish that was...

Mike came over with Cam, a young straight friend of his. An ex-student. Protégé of Mike’s, something to do with his uni position. “I’d like you to meet Cam.” “Hi,” I say. “Hi,” says Cam. Dark, handsome. Sooty lashers. Blemish fee, toned, naive, pretty. Kind of preppy. “I thought you might like Cam,” says Mike. Just like that, I couldn’t believe him. He had that cheeky smirk on his face. “Mike has told me all about you,” says Cam. Innocent. Smiling. He’s still at that every-one-you-meet-is-nice stage. I can just tell by the overly broad smile on his face and his overly enthusiastic hand shake. “I think you two will get on like…” Cam stops, purses his lips and gives me a knowing look. Mike and Cam are shitfaced when they get there, Mike is slurring, Cam is wonky-eyed. Cam passes out after the first joint. “All that booze... and then one joint.” “He’d be lucky if it were only booze.” I laugh. Mike shrugs. “Well, if I’m not allowed to play with Daniel.” “What?” I look down at Cam’s beautif...

I bought Matthew new track pants. I reckon they look really good on him. He seemed to like them too.

Matthew can go buying new undies without getting really turned on in the undies section. But, apparently, this isn't uncommon for gay guys. All those guys in their jocks, all this gay boys with undies fetishes.

I meet Amy under the Flinder's Street clocks and we go for a walk around the botanical gardens. She has a few hours off, contact time for her students. We laughed as we walked, the sun sparkled. "Let them find me," she said of her students. "I need some me time." Amy has got a promotion to senior lecturer, I guess it's of humanities, or something. Do they still call it that? "A senior position, hey?" "Yes," she said. "Who'd have thought we'd make it to senior anything, you know?" "You were a Senior Lawyer, weren't you?" "I guess?" "So, you got there before me... old man." I laughed. "You know, before you got scared and ran away." "Scared? Ran away?" "Well, that's what you did, isn't it?" "Is that what people think?" "Yes," Amy said tentatively. "I guess they do." "Ran away?" "Couldn't cope, packed it i...

Lachlan in white trunks. He looks good in them. He's got the build for it, if you know what I mean.

I went for a bike ride for an hour and then had lunch with Nick in the city. "So, what man is in your life at present?" asked Nick. "I don't hear you talking about any new ones." I shrugged. "None, really." "None to speak of, clearly," said Nick in a snippy tone. He loves it when I am single, we can share more equally in the shared loneliness. I thought for a minute. "No, there are none, really." "What about the girlie one from the gym?" "Too girlie." "Not that there is anything wrong with that," said Nick. "What about the one you were doing the skin on skin nasty with?" "Matt? No, I haven't seen him." "Why did you do that?" I shrugged. “I don't know, really.” Sometimes you just want to, feel that boy skank on your todger. And he said he'd never done raw sex. It was stupid really. We had HIV tests together, though. Kind of at the end, I know, but we had them. ...