Saturday Morning, With Jumbo
I was still feeling rattled from Easter weekend. Jangly. It was a struggle for the last three days. Kaye kept asking me if I was okay, she seemed to know something was up. She always knows when something is up.
“You okay?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
The doorbell rang. What the hell? Who? I laughed to myself, I was sounding like Grandma Mabel every time the phone rang, or her doorbell buzzed.
“Oh, my goodness, who could that be?”
Jumbo was standing on the other side of the door when I opened it.
“Sorry I am late,” he said. “But better late than never, hey?”
“What?” I’m sure I looked blankly at him, I was sure I was looking blankly at everything.
“Well, aren’t you going to ask me in?” he said. “We can’t very well do business out here, hey?”
“What?”
Jumbo pushed passed me. “Well, I’ll invite myself in then.”
“Jumbo?”
“Sorry, I’ve been delayed,” said Jumbo. “Or, otherwise entertained.” He smiled like he wanted me to ask him why?”
But, I didn’t really know why he was at my place, so I didn’t ask.
Not to worry. “Constable Ryan likes the choof, and he likes me,” Jumbo smiled. He kind of twitched to, excitedly, but I assume Jumbo is always on something, so I didn’t think anything of the twitch. “The man is a horse.”
“You still seeing him?”
“Still seeing him,” said Jumbo. “I have been impaled on the man for days. You wouldn’t believe how thick it is at the base, baby, you know that thing is in you when it is down to there.” Jumbo absentmindedly rubbed down the front of his pants.
“A gay copper…”
Jumbo screwed up his face. “Hmmmm.” He rocked his hand from side to side in the air. “He’s got a girlfriend.”
“So where does she think he is?”
“More to the point, does she now know that she is going sloppy arse juice seconds to me.”
“I’m guessing, she doesn’t understand him.”
“Yeah, he doesn’t know what to do. He feels really bad about it, as they have been together since high school. He hates cheating on her, it’s going to break her heart, but what can a boy do,” said Jumbo. He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah mate, a true sob story, now can you plug that thing in here.” Jumbo turned sideways and made an exaggerated gesture towards his arse. “And let me ride the pony! Ride the pony, baby!” Jumbo galloped around the lounge room in mock horse riding.
“So, what can I do for you?” asked Jumbo.
“The usual,” I said. It was just easier.
“You okay?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
The doorbell rang. What the hell? Who? I laughed to myself, I was sounding like Grandma Mabel every time the phone rang, or her doorbell buzzed.
“Oh, my goodness, who could that be?”
Jumbo was standing on the other side of the door when I opened it.
“Sorry I am late,” he said. “But better late than never, hey?”
“What?” I’m sure I looked blankly at him, I was sure I was looking blankly at everything.
“Well, aren’t you going to ask me in?” he said. “We can’t very well do business out here, hey?”
“What?”
Jumbo pushed passed me. “Well, I’ll invite myself in then.”
“Jumbo?”
“Sorry, I’ve been delayed,” said Jumbo. “Or, otherwise entertained.” He smiled like he wanted me to ask him why?”
But, I didn’t really know why he was at my place, so I didn’t ask.
Not to worry. “Constable Ryan likes the choof, and he likes me,” Jumbo smiled. He kind of twitched to, excitedly, but I assume Jumbo is always on something, so I didn’t think anything of the twitch. “The man is a horse.”
“You still seeing him?”
“Still seeing him,” said Jumbo. “I have been impaled on the man for days. You wouldn’t believe how thick it is at the base, baby, you know that thing is in you when it is down to there.” Jumbo absentmindedly rubbed down the front of his pants.
“A gay copper…”
Jumbo screwed up his face. “Hmmmm.” He rocked his hand from side to side in the air. “He’s got a girlfriend.”
“So where does she think he is?”
“More to the point, does she now know that she is going sloppy arse juice seconds to me.”
“I’m guessing, she doesn’t understand him.”
“Yeah, he doesn’t know what to do. He feels really bad about it, as they have been together since high school. He hates cheating on her, it’s going to break her heart, but what can a boy do,” said Jumbo. He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah mate, a true sob story, now can you plug that thing in here.” Jumbo turned sideways and made an exaggerated gesture towards his arse. “And let me ride the pony! Ride the pony, baby!” Jumbo galloped around the lounge room in mock horse riding.
“So, what can I do for you?” asked Jumbo.
“The usual,” I said. It was just easier.
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