Coda Josh Grant

I got a call in the afternoon, it was from Ben. "You doing anything tonight?" "No." "I might come around?" "Okay cool." Silence. No chatty Ben, like usual. "I'll see you tonight then." End of call. I had a dead phone in my hand. That was the shortest phone call in the history of Ben's phone calls. Funny, I thought. There was definite angst there, I had to admit it. 7pm the doorbell rang. There was, I had to say it, a nervous Ben standing on my doorstep. "Hi." "Hi." He handed me a bottle of red wine. I laughed to myself, keeping a straight face the whole time, which was hard, I wished there had been flowers too. Oh why couldn't he have bought flowers too. "How was your day?" I'd smoked pot all afternoon and worked at my computer. The day had vanished, I hadn't even noticed. I rolled him a joint, naturally. And I made him a coffee in the kitchen, as he said he wanted ...

I've been working hard this last 6 month. We have a big matter on and somehow I got steamrollered into it. Well, not so much steamrollered into it, but it went from a feeling that i should be helping the team to slaving my arse off, seemingly just like that. OMG! It has been long hours and long days and some weekend work. It bought back all the reasons why I hate corporate law firms. The psychopaths in charge, the mountain of work, the mind numbing boredom, all the reasons why I stopped doing this kind of prostitution. When did I escape… only to be sucked back in. Still, it’s meant to be for 6 months, so the end is now insight. I don't really know why, but when it comes to actually working, I do take it seriously. Put in the hours, get it done, don’t question what I had to do until it is over. Still, there were a few cute law clerks, in puppy lawyer boy suits, helping out. “You can have your pick of the graduates.” “Oh, okay.” I know which ones I’d be getting to do wh...

Nick and I went out and got shit faced over the weekend. I am still recovering. Nick is the devil with that pipe. He knows my piggy way, which then, of course, gives a green light to his piggy ways. Of course, that is why he says he likes me. We have the same piggy ways. "You're the only person I know who never says no." Then it is carnage at day break. Mick Jagger sings, I Think I’m going Mad. Well, once I get going. Once you are doing it, you have no choice but to be piggy. But I always have a limit. Twenty four hours and I'm done. I've never tried to fight it, I've just gone with it. I'm asleep pretty soon after a night and a day and a night as elapsed, I'm always done by then. I was horny as hell when I got home and had a marathon porn session in my room alone. Actually, I like that bit the best. Is that selfish? I'm not sure when night finished and day started. And when day finished and night started. Me in my dark little wolrd, with anybody I...

James had a girlfriend for most of the time I was working and I didn't see him much, actually, at all. I think it was his last shot at it? Well, maybe not his last shot, but he still hasn't told anyone that he likes cock and I think he was trying to make his straight mates happy. He has a large group of guys with who he went to school at Scotch. They are all still mates. James doesn't know how to tell any of them, so it is easier just to remain straight. Of course, that is not true, but that is what he is thinking. Girl's like him. What is there not to like. Blonde hair, handsome face, well developed chest and arms, six pack, tight waist, sexy legs, beautiful cock, hot arse. And he is a really sweet boy, interested, caring, loyal, kind. The only problem is that James doesn't like girls. well, not the way girls want him to like them. Nah, he doesn't. He can pretend, hope, want, pray, whatever it is that he does, but he doesn't like them, not like that, ...

I stumbled out into the kitchen surprisingly early. Well, it was still morning. I couldn't find my phone and I was looking for a clock. Daniel was in the kitchen dressed and ready to go. It was 7.30am. "Hey." "Hey." "Good morning sleepy head." "Good morning worker..." "I've got to go," said Daniel. He skulled the last of his coffee, put the cup in the sink... "In the dishwasher," I said. "Sorry." He shoved a piece of toast into his mouth and started to exit the kitchen to the back yard to where our cars are parked. This is not how I saw this going? Really? Not one word. I may have just done the worst action of my life, I didn’t expect silence. I so wanted to say something. Ask how it was? I’ve always just been a perve. I sometimes wonder if I suffer from sex addiction? Daniel got to the door when he turned around. "I'm guessing you had something to do with that last night?" ...

I was laying back on the couch, I think, with one eye opened for some time watching TV lazily. The TV was shit. I just couldn’t be bothered getting up and going to bed. The evening slipped away. Daniel made an appearance around midnight. “It is official, the city of Melbourne has gone lezo.” “The entire population?” I quizzed. “No, I think it is just the women in the 1990s birth range.” “No luck?” “Not even a smart rejection line.” “What’s a boy to do?” “You may well make light of the situation, but it is very serious, fine young men are going out there and putting it out for the world to see, some of the finest, I wasn’t alone out there on the front line and can you guess how we…” “You.” “I got rewarded for my efforts?” “I don’t know Daniel, how did you get rewarded?’ “With nothing. A big fat nothing. And yet, the girl’s are always saying there is a lack of good men out there and when we go out there, may I tell, they reward us with nothing. A big fat noting, Josh, a big fat nothing.”...

All weekend on my own. I played Etta James and Nina Simone. I played Marianne Faithful, the German stuff. The house is clean. Spotless. Shining. I even washed the floors. I haven't been outside, except to get food, which I devoured with numerous joints. Then I'm stoned and the rest of the world fades away. I’m satisfied and pacified. Relaxed. I'm almost surprised to see people when I go to get more milk in the arvo. I get used to being on my own, so easily. I lay on the couch. My head spun. I whacked off to Nina Simone, to some of my dad’s ancient cds. The ones he threw away after the change had come to him. The light is golden. The shadows long. A bird chirps. Nina really does sound like a bloke. It’s like sucking off a black guy, all of his work. “Lick my cock.” I picture her to look like Nick Canon... and what he pulls out as he sings. I'd like to see Nick Cannon undo his pants. I'd like to see him in his undies. He'd have a nick coc...

Jumbo arrive right on schedule with a big bag of weed. I've given him some legal help with, shall we say, problems he's had over the years and he has never forgotten. "Here, I got you this for the holidays." "Thanks, buddy." He couldn't stay, he was doing his 'rounds.' I was shit faced for the rest of the day. By the afternoon, i decided that I should do something, laying around on the couch for hours was long enough. I decided to do some washing, that was easy and I was just about out of jocks and socks. I got my dirty washing and I decided while I was at it, I'd get Daniel's too. Daniel has taken to wearing Aussiebums lately and boy are they sexy jocks. My head was spinning as the cotton material slipped through my hands. Some of his undies were still clearly in my brother's shape when I held them up. Nice big stretched bulge at the front, nice round curve in the arse. I was horny after all that pot... and... I couldn...