The Holidays
The Xmas lunch turned out all right, despite Amanda calling the night before saying that friends of theirs were in town so they'd becoming too. And four turned into seven. I mean, as it turns out, we can both cook, thank you Amanda. She studied cooking when Daniel and I went to kinder, then she taught us as teenagers. She always said that no sons of hers would grown up to be useless in the kitchen and she taught Daniel and I to cook from an early age. She said it was her gift to womankind in the world. This, of course, was one of her many gifts to womenkind in the world, one of the many gifts to womenkind that she claimed simply by adding Daniel and me to the world population.
She cornered me in the kitchen, as she suggested adding more salt to the gravy, "Well, I couldn't exactly have you show your mama up, now could I." And the whatstheirnames were at a loose end, on their own. She smiled one of her triumphant smiles.
The whatstheirnames arrived first. Apparently they had caught a train to Southerncross and being good "family people" (don't you hate that expression?) they walked the rest of the way. And, of course, being good country people, they were early and Amanda and Rick are always late. When it was just mum and dad, we were just going to cook the food and that was going to be it. But, when Amanda more than double the numbers, we got chrismassy and bought some decorations and more importantly, we’d bough prawns and dips and bread and champagne. So we were able to fill in the three quarters of an hour with nibbles and booze until the parents rolled up. And with a couple of champagnes under her belt Mrs whatstheirnames admitted that they’d come down especially for lunch, due to Amanda’s kind invitation, there was no loosened involved.
Amanda arrived in huge sunglasses and a green twinset and cream pants. There seemed to be an excess of gold jewelry on display.
When I questioned Amanda on it, all she would say was, “That’s hardly the Xmas spirit, darling.”
When Daniel bought out the prawns, Amanda said, “Oh prawns, just about everybody is doing them.” Then she demanded finger bowls for her and her guests. The finger bowls were coming, they were sitting ready on the kitchen bench.
Mrs whatstheirname told Daniel and I how handsome we were… several times, it was a little creepy, like that Magda Szubanski skit with her in a neck brace. “That’s very unkind,” said Amanda. “She only had girls, she always wanted boys.” Amanda touched Daniel’s face. “They can’t all be as lucky as me.”
“That’s not what I got when she was looking at me,” said Daniel.
“Me either,” I said.
“You boys.” Amanda shook her head as if to say that was all she wanted to talk about that subject.
She cornered me in the kitchen, as she suggested adding more salt to the gravy, "Well, I couldn't exactly have you show your mama up, now could I." And the whatstheirnames were at a loose end, on their own. She smiled one of her triumphant smiles.
The whatstheirnames arrived first. Apparently they had caught a train to Southerncross and being good "family people" (don't you hate that expression?) they walked the rest of the way. And, of course, being good country people, they were early and Amanda and Rick are always late. When it was just mum and dad, we were just going to cook the food and that was going to be it. But, when Amanda more than double the numbers, we got chrismassy and bought some decorations and more importantly, we’d bough prawns and dips and bread and champagne. So we were able to fill in the three quarters of an hour with nibbles and booze until the parents rolled up. And with a couple of champagnes under her belt Mrs whatstheirnames admitted that they’d come down especially for lunch, due to Amanda’s kind invitation, there was no loosened involved.
Amanda arrived in huge sunglasses and a green twinset and cream pants. There seemed to be an excess of gold jewelry on display.
When I questioned Amanda on it, all she would say was, “That’s hardly the Xmas spirit, darling.”
When Daniel bought out the prawns, Amanda said, “Oh prawns, just about everybody is doing them.” Then she demanded finger bowls for her and her guests. The finger bowls were coming, they were sitting ready on the kitchen bench.
Mrs whatstheirname told Daniel and I how handsome we were… several times, it was a little creepy, like that Magda Szubanski skit with her in a neck brace. “That’s very unkind,” said Amanda. “She only had girls, she always wanted boys.” Amanda touched Daniel’s face. “They can’t all be as lucky as me.”
“That’s not what I got when she was looking at me,” said Daniel.
“Me either,” I said.
“You boys.” Amanda shook her head as if to say that was all she wanted to talk about that subject.
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