Daniel the Rhinoceros
I’m in the kitchen when Daniel comes steaming in with flared nostrils.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Wrong with me,” I ask incredulously.
“What the fuck did you tell Amanda?”
“What the fuck did you tell Amanda?”
“Nothing,” says Daniel.
“That I have a drug problem…”
“Well, you do.”
“I DO NOT!” I screamed at Daniel. “The only problem I have is you!”
That actually pulled him up. “What?” I don’t lose my shit, never, and I just did.
“If you say one more time that I have a problem with pot, so help me I will go you with a knife.”
Daniel looked stunned. “Seriously, Magda Szubanski impersonations, now?”
What can I say, it was unintentional, but, as it turned out, a moment of genius? “What is wrong with you?” That is what you call flipping it completely on its head. It was a complete fluke, truthfully.
“Me?” Daniel was clearly undone at that moment. I’d pieced the steely armour and he was exposed.
“There is something wrong? You can mask it all you like by telling Amanda that I have a drug problem, but the problem is with you and I want to know right now what it is?”
“I don’t… I don’t…”
“Because, quite frankly, you have become a complete fucking nightmare to live with…”
“What?”
“What the fuck is wrong?”
Then Daniel flipped me on my head, completely unintentionally. He stopped, his chin started to wobble, his eyes filled with tears until he looked like he was going to drown in them before they slid down his cheeks.
Momentarily there was complete stillness, complete silence.
Then Daniel started to sob. I stepped to him, stretched out my arms and took him into my embrace and he grabbed me and started to sob on my shoulder.
I patted his hair, he has great hair. I breathed him in, I like Daniel’s smell, and I felt really close to him. I have to remember it is Daniel I have in my arms, because I always find emotional comfort with men slightly sexual.
Candi had dumped him, telling him he never gives her much time, but Candi was never going to be anything long term to Daniel. But, he has found, that girls don’t seem to be taking to him, now-a-days, was he getting too old? Which is utter rubbish. He’s been working too hard, probably closer to the root of the problem, he has been questioning his life. Why isn’t he married, why doesn’t he have kids, how can he be so successful when most of the time he feels like a failure.
“There, there, Daniel. We hugged. Daniel and I have always been very physically comfortable with each other, he felt good in my arms.
He let it out. He told me he missed me. He had snot and tears and saliva oozing over his chin. I held him tight.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Wrong with me,” I ask incredulously.
“What the fuck did you tell Amanda?”
“What the fuck did you tell Amanda?”
“Nothing,” says Daniel.
“That I have a drug problem…”
“Well, you do.”
“I DO NOT!” I screamed at Daniel. “The only problem I have is you!”
That actually pulled him up. “What?” I don’t lose my shit, never, and I just did.
“If you say one more time that I have a problem with pot, so help me I will go you with a knife.”
Daniel looked stunned. “Seriously, Magda Szubanski impersonations, now?”
What can I say, it was unintentional, but, as it turned out, a moment of genius? “What is wrong with you?” That is what you call flipping it completely on its head. It was a complete fluke, truthfully.
“Me?” Daniel was clearly undone at that moment. I’d pieced the steely armour and he was exposed.
“There is something wrong? You can mask it all you like by telling Amanda that I have a drug problem, but the problem is with you and I want to know right now what it is?”
“I don’t… I don’t…”
“Because, quite frankly, you have become a complete fucking nightmare to live with…”
“What?”
“What the fuck is wrong?”
Then Daniel flipped me on my head, completely unintentionally. He stopped, his chin started to wobble, his eyes filled with tears until he looked like he was going to drown in them before they slid down his cheeks.
Momentarily there was complete stillness, complete silence.
Then Daniel started to sob. I stepped to him, stretched out my arms and took him into my embrace and he grabbed me and started to sob on my shoulder.
I patted his hair, he has great hair. I breathed him in, I like Daniel’s smell, and I felt really close to him. I have to remember it is Daniel I have in my arms, because I always find emotional comfort with men slightly sexual.
Candi had dumped him, telling him he never gives her much time, but Candi was never going to be anything long term to Daniel. But, he has found, that girls don’t seem to be taking to him, now-a-days, was he getting too old? Which is utter rubbish. He’s been working too hard, probably closer to the root of the problem, he has been questioning his life. Why isn’t he married, why doesn’t he have kids, how can he be so successful when most of the time he feels like a failure.
“There, there, Daniel. We hugged. Daniel and I have always been very physically comfortable with each other, he felt good in my arms.
He let it out. He told me he missed me. He had snot and tears and saliva oozing over his chin. I held him tight.
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