Ben, Felix and Me
I was meeting up with Ben after work, we’d decided to go out to Donatos and eat Italian before heading home. You know, eat some gnocchi drink some red wine, before staggering merrily drunk up Bourke Street. Good plan. It was Friday night, watch Netflix fall asleep in each other’s arms on the couch.
I headed downstairs, I was going to meet Ben in the courtyard. I wanted to get out of the office and get some fresh air until he was ready, I’d been in since 7.30am and I didn’t want anyone to ask me any more work questions.
The courtyard is a lovely place to sit off to one side and catch up on my journal writing. Watch the world walk by, mostly Gertrude’s staff, and think and/or just phase out and stare at the wide expanse of silver grey paving.
Jill Klapp headed towards me with a clack, clack, clack of her high heels, as she headed home.
“Josh, Josh, how are you?” she said. Big smile.
“Jill, how long has it been?”
“Since that awful place,” said Jill.
All of us ex-employees can never stop talking about how truly awful Hack Hack Dumphrey really was. We are all obsessed about our poor treatment.
“Oh, that awful place,”
“We were lucky to get out alive,” said Jill.
“We should have all been given counselling.”
“Oh, none of us are the same, after that,” said Jill. “How did you come out of it?”
“I stopped work for a while,” I said. “I didn’t want to continue. I wasn’t going to continue. The law sucked as far as I was concerned. I’d decided to be a writer.”
“I worked for a not for profit for a couple of years.”
“But now you are back in the corporate world.”
“I missed the law,” said Jill. “And Gertudes is good. I’m enjoying it.”
“Me too,” I said.
“Well, it’s lovely to see you,” said Jill. “I’m meeting my husband.” She looked at her watch. “Ten minutes ago, he will be happy, must go.”
“Good to see you,” I said.
I watched her go. She turned and walked backwards momentarily. “Go and be a writer, Josh,” she said. “You only ever regret the things you don’t do.” Then she turned and walked away.
I always liked Jill, she’s smart, and talented and there is no bullshit about her.
Go and be a writer was repeating in my head. “Joshua my boy,” I heard behind me. I turned around to see Christian Collins, he has the reputation of being the youngest ever to make partner.
“Good work on the Nigel Matter, all the partners are all talking about it.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“Others worked on that without success.”
I could see Ben coming towards us over Christian’s right shoulder.
“Ah, well, it’s all about going and meeting the clients in person and talking...”
“Revolutionary thinking…”
I could see Felix coming towards us over Christian’s left shoulder.
“And listening to them.”
“It’s being acknowledge that you have the touch.”
Felix approached first, speaking of things I’d like to touch. “Good to know.” It was all I could do to keep the smirk off my face.
“Well,” said Christian. He patted me on the back. “Keep up the good work.”
Please don’t offer me more work, I don’t want it.
“And young Felix, I am hearing good things about you to my boy,” he said. “Have a nice weekend.”
“You too.”
“Cosying up to partners, now?” asked Ben. “Outside office hours?”
“It was a courtyard ambush.”
Ben smiled.
“Hi guys,” said Felix.
“It’s been acknowledged that I have…” I turned to face Felix, for no thought-out reason. “the touch.”
Felix looked confused.
Ben turned to Felix. “I can confirm he has the touch,” said Ben.
Felix blushed noticeable. “What are you guys up to?” he asked.
“You mean other than touching each other.” It was lame, I know. I knew it even before I’d finished speaking the sentence, but I just couldn’t stop myself. I died a little inside. Trying too hard, Josh, I thought.
Ben gave me a fleeting sideways look that said, seriously. “We’re going out to get something to eat,” said Ben. He shot me a sideways glance as if to say, should we invite him?
“You wanna come?” I asked.
Ben smiled.
We’d already talked about how we both thought Felix was as cute as a button, as Grandma Lilly would have said.
Felix’s face lit up somewhat. “Sure.” Did he slur? He was going to a grad get together the last hour of the day, which was catered.
I’d since shared my thoughts on Felix being on the team with Ben.
“We’re going for Italian,” said Ben. He seemed unusually keen, is what I sensed from him.
“Let’s go,” I said.
“Do you have a favourite?” asked Felix. “Or are we going someplace local?”
“Both,” I said. “Donatos.”
“If you can call Bourke Street local,” Ben said.
“I guess its local,” said Felix.
“The best Italian in the city,” I said.
“And the best Italian has to be something special,” said Felix.
Was that gay humour coming out of the kid’s mouth, I wondered?
“Nothing to be sniffed at,” said Ben.
I looked from Ben to Felix and then back again. The company of men, it made me smile. I’d like to see the two of them sniff each other. It makes me hot if it is shared.
“So, you like Italian… s,” said Ben, complete with the sneaky s.
“What’s not to like,” said Felix.
Felix was ogling my boyfriend… and I liked it. I like that energy, guys liking guys. It was a three way thing, I could feel it.
“What’s not to like,” said Ben. He turned and looked at me with that, there is no other word for it, goofy look men get on their faces when they are talking to someone they fancy.
It was a lovely night and we walked from Collins Street to Bourke Street in no time. I thought the three of us looked very handsome together, well, the other two certainly did, I couldn’t really see myself, as such. I caught sight of the three of us together in our suits in the big plate glass shop windows and I thought we looked handsome.
Boys in suits porn came instantly to mind. I’m guessing such thoughts are what those harpie woman, usually American, who claim to have PHDs from unaccredited universities, who say porn is destroying the world are targeting when they make their claims, never revealing that more often than not they’re against porn because of their Christian beliefs. They cite research from other religious nuts who get the results they need to uphold their religious views. I laughed to myself.
Donatos wasn’t busy, we got a table near the door.
The waiter bought us three large glasses of red wine to start.
I ordered gnocchi with tomato, salami and olives.
Ben ordered putenesca, “I just feel like the whore’s pasta.” He winked at me which seemed completely out of character for him.
Felix ordered Bolognese. A junior’s choice, I thought.
“So, how are you enjoying work?” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s good,” said Felix. “Different to study and uni, which takes some getting used to…”
“Good old 9 to 5,” said Ben.
“But, it is exciting too, getting into what we’ve been studying for…”
“For what we have been studying,” I said. I have always been the grammar Nazi, always. I admonished myself under my breath.
“Huh?” said Felix. “Oh yes, of course.”
Somebody stop me I thought.
“And a bit nerve wracking too, as we are only just now doing what we have been…” he smiled so sweetly at me that I forgave myself for my grammar stickler’ness. (Why can’t I make up words, the Americans have based their whole civilisation on it) “…for which we have been studying without ever, really, knowing if we were going to like it in, actual, practice.”
“It is true,” I said. “We go into these courses because we get enough marks to do so, in so many cases, never really knowing for what we are letting ourselves in… for.” Oops. I tripped myself up.
“I think that we simply adapt to our choices,” said Ben. “We learn to like that about which we had no idea, but chose to do.”
“Oh god,” said Felix. “So, I am not the weirdo who only thinks this?”
“No,” I said. “I think we all do it.”
“It is probably easier to adapt,” said Ben. “Than to come out and say we made a monumental mistake.”
“I agree,” I said.
“That weirdly makes me feel better,” said Felix.
“Conversely, it is how you get people in jobs they hate?” I said. I shrug.
“Do you two guys like your jobs? asked Felix.
“Yes,” said Ben.
Felix looked at me. “Nyr,” I said. “I like it enough.”
“What would you rather have done?” asked Felix.
“I wish I’d studied writing,” I said. “Creative writing.”
“But you did,” said Ben.
“Oh, yes, 10 years after I’d studied law,” I said. “I wished I’d, oh, I don’t know…” Flown without a parachute, is what I wanted to say. Not taken the safe course at all. “Been brave right out of school.”
“Do you think you would be as successful as you are now?” asked Felix.
“Am I successful?”
“Oh Josh,” said Ben. There was disappointment in his voice.
“Yes,” said Felix.
I laughed. They were both looking at me so earnestly.
“Oh, come on,” said Felix, rather animatedly. “You are very successful.” His voice squeaked. “Excuse me, I don’t usually drink this much.”
Both Ben and I laughed and took swigs of our red wine at exactly the same time.
“Yes, sure, I am successful,” I said. “But, I’ve always found it easy, more so than fulfilling.”
“The curse of being smart,” said Felix.
I wasn’t expecting that, and I know I stopped momentarily to think about it, and it must have shown on my face.
“And handsome,” said Ben.
Saved. “That’s my guy.” I could feel my face beam as I looked at him.
“Very handsome,” said Felix quietly.
Ben and I turned and looked at Felix at the same time, neither of us were, clearly expecting that.
“The protégée has some surprises up his sleeve,” said Ben.
The waiter came with the food, and a bottle of red wine. The three of us gave sideways glances at the handsome Italian waiter in exactly the same way. I filled up our glasses with wine.
“So, tell us about you?” said Ben.
Felix is really cute, bright eyes and blemish free. That twenty two year old cute, smooth skin, bushy tailed. Ha ha. What I mean to say, is he has a nice arse in his suit pants. He is shorter than Ben and I, but he looks toned under his shirt and tie. He is the quintessential little brother fantasy.
“Well?” Felix smiled. “I like Chaka Khan and long walks along the beach.”
Ben and I laughed. “Points for Chaka Khan,” I said.
“I like people to say what they mean and mean what they say.”
“So, do I,” said Ben.
“That’s unanimous,” I said.
I like fast cars… and, um.” Felix smiled his cheeky smile, which lit up his face. He took a swig of his wine. “Like I like my, um, men…”
Ben looked at me with admiration.
“What cars do you both drive?” asked Felix.
“Abarth,” I said.
“Oh,” said Felix.
“M3,” said Ben.
“Wow,” said Felix.
“And you?”
“Nothing special,” he said. “I have a weakness for chocolate and old movies.”
“We’ll have to compare notes on the movies,” I said.
“Or watch them together,” said Ben.
“I grew up in the country?”
“Wherabouts?”
“Kyneton, up north.”
“Yes, very flat,” I said. “My grandma has a house there.”
“What’s her name?”
“Lily Sulk.”
“Out on the Metcalf Road?” said Felix.
“Yes, that’s right.”
“It is more than a house,” said Felix. “It is a big farm.”
“Yeah, I guess.
“I have Christian parents,” said Felix.
I grimaced.”
“Oh, really,” said Ben.
“That’s bad luck,” I said.
“So, I couldn’t tell them about…”
“No,” I said.
“No,” said Ben.
“I got a scholarship to Scotch College…”
“I went to Trinity,” I said.
“I went to Carey,” said Ben.
“I lived with a priest in Balwyn while I was in secondary school and uni.”
I sucked in breath, even I heard it.
“How did that go for you?” asked Ben.
“Yeah, fine,” said Felix. “He was a good bloke, but I never really felt I could have,” he made parenthesis with his fingers in the air, “friends back there, so I never did.”
“You must have been lonely?”
“I was lonely,” said Felix. “But, on the flipside, I passed everything with straight As.” He smiled. “No distractions.”
“A monk’s life,” said Ben.
“It was a monk’s life,” said Felix. “And while Father James was a good bloke, he was very traditional in his thinking, so I never did anything…” Felix swigged his wine again. “To, shall we say, challenge him.”
“But time passes and your life changes,” I said.
“The time passed pretty quickly, actually.”
The waiter bought three coffees and the bill.
Felix sculled the rest of his wine down in an attempt to give the empty wine glass to the waiter, but the waiter didn’t take it.
“It’s been good,” slurred Felix. “And here we are.”
“Here we are,” said Ben.
“He’s to a happy life,” I said. We toasted with coffee cups.
“Thanks for inviting me out,” said Felix. He looked at Ben. “Can I do two days with you when Josh isn’t in?”
Ben was taken aback. “We’ll have to see about that,” said Ben. “It might be possible.”
“It would give me experience in taxation.”
“I like a boy with ambition,” said Ben.
Felix looked at me, then he looked at Ben, then he looked back at me. “You guys are so good looking,” said Felix. I looked at Ben, he looked at me. “How long have you guys been together?
“Just over a year,” I said.
“Going on 14 months,” said Ben.
“Oh, I just assumed you had been together much longer.”
“We have,” I said. “A long time.
“Huh,” said Felix.
“It’s complicated,” said Ben. “We’ve had a kind of relationship for years.”
“That’s the first time I’ve heard you call the early part of our friendship a relationship,” I said.
“Well,” said Ben. “I never really did, but it was a relationship, wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” I said.
I turned to Felix. “You see, Ben is straight
“Straight?” questioned Felix.
“I’m straight with a boyfriend,” said Ben.
“Ben had a girlfriend for many years whle we were having a sexual relationship,” I said. “It has only been exclusive for the last twelve months…”
“Going on fourteen months,” said Ben.
“For almost fourteen months,” I said.
“I don’t really understand,” said Felix.
“I used to want to be with Amy,” said Ben. “Now I want to be with Josh. I don’t see any reason to complicate it any more than that.”
“How do you feel about that?” asked Felix.
“He comes home with me at the end of the night,” I said. “That’s all that matters.”
“Don’t you feel bad that you cheated on her?”
“I didn’t cheat,” said Ben. “Amy knew.”
“She knew?”
“Always,” I said. “We were all friends,”
Felix exhaled loudly. He rubbed his forehead with his palm.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I think I need some fresh air.”
“Let’s go then,” said Ben.
We all stood up. Felix looked a bit wobbly. I took him by the hand and led him out into the street. His hand felt good in mine. (I’d completely forgotten that I was practically his boss by this stage)
Ben went and paid.
I don’t know how Felix got so drunk, it seemed to hit him all of a sudden, just after we left the restaurant.
“It is the fresh air,” said Ben.
“That’s an old wives’ tale, isn’t it,” I said.
“Nah, it always happened to me when I was out with mates,” said Ben.
“Are you sure you just didn’t drink too much?” I asked.
“No, I am not sure,” said Ben. He smiled.
Felix was spinning around a pole by this stage while Ben and I had been focused on each other.
Ben grabbed Felix, steadying him. “Where do you live?”
“Mont Albert Road,” he slurred. Ben was holding him. Felix was a little cross-eyed.
I sucked in air through my teeth. “He is never making it there.”
“Okay, we’d better take him home,” said Ben.
“All the way to Balwyn?”
“No, to Carlton.”
“Your place?” I asked.
Felix was staring straight ahead. “We’ve decided to take your drunk arse back to Ben’s place,” I said.
“I’m sorry, I am so sorry,” said Felix.
“Don’t worry,” said Ben. “We’ve all been there.”
“How far is it?”
“Don’t worry I’ll guide you,” said Ben.
“And I will be your cruise director,” I said. Poor attempt at humour, I know. It amused me, drunk sickness and all.
We got to Queen Street and Felix said he was feeling sick. I held him as he vomited between two cars in Queen Street. I had my hand on the bonnet of a silver Mercedes, as he made retching sounds.
Ben stood to one side as he can’t be around people vomiting, where it doesn’t bother me.
We got Felix to the Carlton Gardens, when he was sick again.
“I don’t think I can walk any further,” said Felix. At which point, Ben picked him up and flung him over his shoulder. Ben patted Felix’s arse. “Nice,” said Ben. There was that dopey look again. I think I wooded up just a bit.
I felt my eyebrows rise.
Felix moaned.
“You okay,” I asked. The blood was clearly rushing to Felix’s head.
“Nah, not like that,” I said. “That might kill him.”
Ben put Felix down on his feet again. “Fuck it,” said Ben. “There is no one around. “Then he picked Felix up in his arms cradling him, with Felix lying his head against Ben’s shoulder.
“I’m so sorry,” mumbled Felix.
“Quiet, you,” said Ben. I was almost hard watching how nurturing Ben was being.
Ben and I laughed as we walked through the Carlton Gardens.
“Talk about picking someone up,” I said.
“You just have to get them drunk and then carry them home,” said Ben.
Ben carried Felix into his house. “What shall we do with him?”
“Put him to bed.”
“What bed?” asked Ben. “Mine is the only one made up.”
“Put him in your bed?”
“Where will we sleep?”
“Oh, with him, it’s a king size, it won’t matter,” I said.
Ben carried Felix into his bedroom and lay him down on the bed. Felix lay down in the middle of the bed and was out cold.
“What now?” said Ben.
I took his shoes off. “Sit him up.” Ben sat Felix up and I took his suit jacket off him. I undid his tie as Ben held him.
“What are we doing?” mumbled Felix.
“Putting you to bed,” I said.
“Are you coming to bed too?”
“We will,” I said.
“Sleep with me,” said Felix.
I unbuttoned his shirt. His toned chest came into view. “The boy goes to the gym,” I said.
“I do,” Felix slurred.
I slid his shirt down his arms. His skin was soft.
“Lay down,” I said. He lay back down. I undid his pants. I unzipped his fly. I pulled his pants down his nice thighs. He had a tuft of pubes coming out the top of his striped briefs, which he filled out well. I’d be lying if I said this didn’t turn me on just a little. He had thick thighs and nice legs. He had big balls and he looked like he had a decent sausage on him.
We both stood for a moment taking in his near naked vision. Toned chest, flat, four-pack stomach, thick legs.
“Sexy boy,” said Ben.
“Sexy boy,” I said.
We pulled the doona over him.
Ben and I screwed in the lounge room. I fucked Ben sitting on the couch with his feet over my shoulders.
“You wanna do this to Felix?” I asked him.
“Oh yeah,” said Ben. He started to cum at the thought. “Oh my god,” he said. He was pulling his big, fat cock, suddenly he erupted with thick strands of cum shooting all over his chest.
“Oh yeah!” I unloaded up Ben’s arse.
We showered in Ben’s en suite while Felix slept. We contemplated getting in with Felix unshowered and covered in sweat and cum, but decided that perhaps it wasn’t such good manners the first time we crawl into bed with him when he was unconscious.
We stood naked either side of the bed and contemplated getting in with him naked.
“That could so easily end up in HR,” said Ben.
“Do you think?” I said.
We pulled on our jocks and got in either side of Felix. He rolled over on his side and spooned to Ben’s back. I spooned to Felix’s back. I could feel the hair on his legs on mine as they entwined. I pushed my cock into the crack in his arse and got hard, it felt good, but was asleep in no time after that.
I headed downstairs, I was going to meet Ben in the courtyard. I wanted to get out of the office and get some fresh air until he was ready, I’d been in since 7.30am and I didn’t want anyone to ask me any more work questions.
The courtyard is a lovely place to sit off to one side and catch up on my journal writing. Watch the world walk by, mostly Gertrude’s staff, and think and/or just phase out and stare at the wide expanse of silver grey paving.
Jill Klapp headed towards me with a clack, clack, clack of her high heels, as she headed home.
“Josh, Josh, how are you?” she said. Big smile.
“Jill, how long has it been?”
“Since that awful place,” said Jill.
All of us ex-employees can never stop talking about how truly awful Hack Hack Dumphrey really was. We are all obsessed about our poor treatment.
“Oh, that awful place,”
“We were lucky to get out alive,” said Jill.
“We should have all been given counselling.”
“Oh, none of us are the same, after that,” said Jill. “How did you come out of it?”
“I stopped work for a while,” I said. “I didn’t want to continue. I wasn’t going to continue. The law sucked as far as I was concerned. I’d decided to be a writer.”
“I worked for a not for profit for a couple of years.”
“But now you are back in the corporate world.”
“I missed the law,” said Jill. “And Gertudes is good. I’m enjoying it.”
“Me too,” I said.
“Well, it’s lovely to see you,” said Jill. “I’m meeting my husband.” She looked at her watch. “Ten minutes ago, he will be happy, must go.”
“Good to see you,” I said.
I watched her go. She turned and walked backwards momentarily. “Go and be a writer, Josh,” she said. “You only ever regret the things you don’t do.” Then she turned and walked away.
I always liked Jill, she’s smart, and talented and there is no bullshit about her.
Go and be a writer was repeating in my head. “Joshua my boy,” I heard behind me. I turned around to see Christian Collins, he has the reputation of being the youngest ever to make partner.
“Good work on the Nigel Matter, all the partners are all talking about it.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“Others worked on that without success.”
I could see Ben coming towards us over Christian’s right shoulder.
“Ah, well, it’s all about going and meeting the clients in person and talking...”
“Revolutionary thinking…”
I could see Felix coming towards us over Christian’s left shoulder.
“And listening to them.”
“It’s being acknowledge that you have the touch.”
Felix approached first, speaking of things I’d like to touch. “Good to know.” It was all I could do to keep the smirk off my face.
“Well,” said Christian. He patted me on the back. “Keep up the good work.”
Please don’t offer me more work, I don’t want it.
“And young Felix, I am hearing good things about you to my boy,” he said. “Have a nice weekend.”
“You too.”
“Cosying up to partners, now?” asked Ben. “Outside office hours?”
“It was a courtyard ambush.”
Ben smiled.
“Hi guys,” said Felix.
“It’s been acknowledged that I have…” I turned to face Felix, for no thought-out reason. “the touch.”
Felix looked confused.
Ben turned to Felix. “I can confirm he has the touch,” said Ben.
Felix blushed noticeable. “What are you guys up to?” he asked.
“You mean other than touching each other.” It was lame, I know. I knew it even before I’d finished speaking the sentence, but I just couldn’t stop myself. I died a little inside. Trying too hard, Josh, I thought.
Ben gave me a fleeting sideways look that said, seriously. “We’re going out to get something to eat,” said Ben. He shot me a sideways glance as if to say, should we invite him?
“You wanna come?” I asked.
Ben smiled.
We’d already talked about how we both thought Felix was as cute as a button, as Grandma Lilly would have said.
Felix’s face lit up somewhat. “Sure.” Did he slur? He was going to a grad get together the last hour of the day, which was catered.
I’d since shared my thoughts on Felix being on the team with Ben.
“We’re going for Italian,” said Ben. He seemed unusually keen, is what I sensed from him.
“Let’s go,” I said.
“Do you have a favourite?” asked Felix. “Or are we going someplace local?”
“Both,” I said. “Donatos.”
“If you can call Bourke Street local,” Ben said.
“I guess its local,” said Felix.
“The best Italian in the city,” I said.
“And the best Italian has to be something special,” said Felix.
Was that gay humour coming out of the kid’s mouth, I wondered?
“Nothing to be sniffed at,” said Ben.
I looked from Ben to Felix and then back again. The company of men, it made me smile. I’d like to see the two of them sniff each other. It makes me hot if it is shared.
“So, you like Italian… s,” said Ben, complete with the sneaky s.
“What’s not to like,” said Felix.
Felix was ogling my boyfriend… and I liked it. I like that energy, guys liking guys. It was a three way thing, I could feel it.
“What’s not to like,” said Ben. He turned and looked at me with that, there is no other word for it, goofy look men get on their faces when they are talking to someone they fancy.
It was a lovely night and we walked from Collins Street to Bourke Street in no time. I thought the three of us looked very handsome together, well, the other two certainly did, I couldn’t really see myself, as such. I caught sight of the three of us together in our suits in the big plate glass shop windows and I thought we looked handsome.
Boys in suits porn came instantly to mind. I’m guessing such thoughts are what those harpie woman, usually American, who claim to have PHDs from unaccredited universities, who say porn is destroying the world are targeting when they make their claims, never revealing that more often than not they’re against porn because of their Christian beliefs. They cite research from other religious nuts who get the results they need to uphold their religious views. I laughed to myself.
Donatos wasn’t busy, we got a table near the door.
The waiter bought us three large glasses of red wine to start.
I ordered gnocchi with tomato, salami and olives.
Ben ordered putenesca, “I just feel like the whore’s pasta.” He winked at me which seemed completely out of character for him.
Felix ordered Bolognese. A junior’s choice, I thought.
“So, how are you enjoying work?” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s good,” said Felix. “Different to study and uni, which takes some getting used to…”
“Good old 9 to 5,” said Ben.
“But, it is exciting too, getting into what we’ve been studying for…”
“For what we have been studying,” I said. I have always been the grammar Nazi, always. I admonished myself under my breath.
“Huh?” said Felix. “Oh yes, of course.”
Somebody stop me I thought.
“And a bit nerve wracking too, as we are only just now doing what we have been…” he smiled so sweetly at me that I forgave myself for my grammar stickler’ness. (Why can’t I make up words, the Americans have based their whole civilisation on it) “…for which we have been studying without ever, really, knowing if we were going to like it in, actual, practice.”
“It is true,” I said. “We go into these courses because we get enough marks to do so, in so many cases, never really knowing for what we are letting ourselves in… for.” Oops. I tripped myself up.
“I think that we simply adapt to our choices,” said Ben. “We learn to like that about which we had no idea, but chose to do.”
“Oh god,” said Felix. “So, I am not the weirdo who only thinks this?”
“No,” I said. “I think we all do it.”
“It is probably easier to adapt,” said Ben. “Than to come out and say we made a monumental mistake.”
“I agree,” I said.
“That weirdly makes me feel better,” said Felix.
“Conversely, it is how you get people in jobs they hate?” I said. I shrug.
“Do you two guys like your jobs? asked Felix.
“Yes,” said Ben.
Felix looked at me. “Nyr,” I said. “I like it enough.”
“What would you rather have done?” asked Felix.
“I wish I’d studied writing,” I said. “Creative writing.”
“But you did,” said Ben.
“Oh, yes, 10 years after I’d studied law,” I said. “I wished I’d, oh, I don’t know…” Flown without a parachute, is what I wanted to say. Not taken the safe course at all. “Been brave right out of school.”
“Do you think you would be as successful as you are now?” asked Felix.
“Am I successful?”
“Oh Josh,” said Ben. There was disappointment in his voice.
“Yes,” said Felix.
I laughed. They were both looking at me so earnestly.
“Oh, come on,” said Felix, rather animatedly. “You are very successful.” His voice squeaked. “Excuse me, I don’t usually drink this much.”
Both Ben and I laughed and took swigs of our red wine at exactly the same time.
“Yes, sure, I am successful,” I said. “But, I’ve always found it easy, more so than fulfilling.”
“The curse of being smart,” said Felix.
I wasn’t expecting that, and I know I stopped momentarily to think about it, and it must have shown on my face.
“And handsome,” said Ben.
Saved. “That’s my guy.” I could feel my face beam as I looked at him.
“Very handsome,” said Felix quietly.
Ben and I turned and looked at Felix at the same time, neither of us were, clearly expecting that.
“The protégée has some surprises up his sleeve,” said Ben.
The waiter came with the food, and a bottle of red wine. The three of us gave sideways glances at the handsome Italian waiter in exactly the same way. I filled up our glasses with wine.
“So, tell us about you?” said Ben.
Felix is really cute, bright eyes and blemish free. That twenty two year old cute, smooth skin, bushy tailed. Ha ha. What I mean to say, is he has a nice arse in his suit pants. He is shorter than Ben and I, but he looks toned under his shirt and tie. He is the quintessential little brother fantasy.
“Well?” Felix smiled. “I like Chaka Khan and long walks along the beach.”
Ben and I laughed. “Points for Chaka Khan,” I said.
“I like people to say what they mean and mean what they say.”
“So, do I,” said Ben.
“That’s unanimous,” I said.
I like fast cars… and, um.” Felix smiled his cheeky smile, which lit up his face. He took a swig of his wine. “Like I like my, um, men…”
Ben looked at me with admiration.
“What cars do you both drive?” asked Felix.
“Abarth,” I said.
“Oh,” said Felix.
“M3,” said Ben.
“Wow,” said Felix.
“And you?”
“Nothing special,” he said. “I have a weakness for chocolate and old movies.”
“We’ll have to compare notes on the movies,” I said.
“Or watch them together,” said Ben.
“I grew up in the country?”
“Wherabouts?”
“Kyneton, up north.”
“Yes, very flat,” I said. “My grandma has a house there.”
“What’s her name?”
“Lily Sulk.”
“Out on the Metcalf Road?” said Felix.
“Yes, that’s right.”
“It is more than a house,” said Felix. “It is a big farm.”
“Yeah, I guess.
“I have Christian parents,” said Felix.
I grimaced.”
“Oh, really,” said Ben.
“That’s bad luck,” I said.
“So, I couldn’t tell them about…”
“No,” I said.
“No,” said Ben.
“I got a scholarship to Scotch College…”
“I went to Trinity,” I said.
“I went to Carey,” said Ben.
“I lived with a priest in Balwyn while I was in secondary school and uni.”
I sucked in breath, even I heard it.
“How did that go for you?” asked Ben.
“Yeah, fine,” said Felix. “He was a good bloke, but I never really felt I could have,” he made parenthesis with his fingers in the air, “friends back there, so I never did.”
“You must have been lonely?”
“I was lonely,” said Felix. “But, on the flipside, I passed everything with straight As.” He smiled. “No distractions.”
“A monk’s life,” said Ben.
“It was a monk’s life,” said Felix. “And while Father James was a good bloke, he was very traditional in his thinking, so I never did anything…” Felix swigged his wine again. “To, shall we say, challenge him.”
“But time passes and your life changes,” I said.
“The time passed pretty quickly, actually.”
The waiter bought three coffees and the bill.
Felix sculled the rest of his wine down in an attempt to give the empty wine glass to the waiter, but the waiter didn’t take it.
“It’s been good,” slurred Felix. “And here we are.”
“Here we are,” said Ben.
“He’s to a happy life,” I said. We toasted with coffee cups.
“Thanks for inviting me out,” said Felix. He looked at Ben. “Can I do two days with you when Josh isn’t in?”
Ben was taken aback. “We’ll have to see about that,” said Ben. “It might be possible.”
“It would give me experience in taxation.”
“I like a boy with ambition,” said Ben.
Felix looked at me, then he looked at Ben, then he looked back at me. “You guys are so good looking,” said Felix. I looked at Ben, he looked at me. “How long have you guys been together?
“Just over a year,” I said.
“Going on 14 months,” said Ben.
“Oh, I just assumed you had been together much longer.”
“We have,” I said. “A long time.
“Huh,” said Felix.
“It’s complicated,” said Ben. “We’ve had a kind of relationship for years.”
“That’s the first time I’ve heard you call the early part of our friendship a relationship,” I said.
“Well,” said Ben. “I never really did, but it was a relationship, wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” I said.
I turned to Felix. “You see, Ben is straight
“Straight?” questioned Felix.
“I’m straight with a boyfriend,” said Ben.
“Ben had a girlfriend for many years whle we were having a sexual relationship,” I said. “It has only been exclusive for the last twelve months…”
“Going on fourteen months,” said Ben.
“For almost fourteen months,” I said.
“I don’t really understand,” said Felix.
“I used to want to be with Amy,” said Ben. “Now I want to be with Josh. I don’t see any reason to complicate it any more than that.”
“How do you feel about that?” asked Felix.
“He comes home with me at the end of the night,” I said. “That’s all that matters.”
“Don’t you feel bad that you cheated on her?”
“I didn’t cheat,” said Ben. “Amy knew.”
“She knew?”
“Always,” I said. “We were all friends,”
Felix exhaled loudly. He rubbed his forehead with his palm.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I think I need some fresh air.”
“Let’s go then,” said Ben.
We all stood up. Felix looked a bit wobbly. I took him by the hand and led him out into the street. His hand felt good in mine. (I’d completely forgotten that I was practically his boss by this stage)
Ben went and paid.
I don’t know how Felix got so drunk, it seemed to hit him all of a sudden, just after we left the restaurant.
“It is the fresh air,” said Ben.
“That’s an old wives’ tale, isn’t it,” I said.
“Nah, it always happened to me when I was out with mates,” said Ben.
“Are you sure you just didn’t drink too much?” I asked.
“No, I am not sure,” said Ben. He smiled.
Felix was spinning around a pole by this stage while Ben and I had been focused on each other.
Ben grabbed Felix, steadying him. “Where do you live?”
“Mont Albert Road,” he slurred. Ben was holding him. Felix was a little cross-eyed.
I sucked in air through my teeth. “He is never making it there.”
“Okay, we’d better take him home,” said Ben.
“All the way to Balwyn?”
“No, to Carlton.”
“Your place?” I asked.
Felix was staring straight ahead. “We’ve decided to take your drunk arse back to Ben’s place,” I said.
“I’m sorry, I am so sorry,” said Felix.
“Don’t worry,” said Ben. “We’ve all been there.”
“How far is it?”
“Don’t worry I’ll guide you,” said Ben.
“And I will be your cruise director,” I said. Poor attempt at humour, I know. It amused me, drunk sickness and all.
We got to Queen Street and Felix said he was feeling sick. I held him as he vomited between two cars in Queen Street. I had my hand on the bonnet of a silver Mercedes, as he made retching sounds.
Ben stood to one side as he can’t be around people vomiting, where it doesn’t bother me.
We got Felix to the Carlton Gardens, when he was sick again.
“I don’t think I can walk any further,” said Felix. At which point, Ben picked him up and flung him over his shoulder. Ben patted Felix’s arse. “Nice,” said Ben. There was that dopey look again. I think I wooded up just a bit.
I felt my eyebrows rise.
Felix moaned.
“You okay,” I asked. The blood was clearly rushing to Felix’s head.
“Nah, not like that,” I said. “That might kill him.”
Ben put Felix down on his feet again. “Fuck it,” said Ben. “There is no one around. “Then he picked Felix up in his arms cradling him, with Felix lying his head against Ben’s shoulder.
“I’m so sorry,” mumbled Felix.
“Quiet, you,” said Ben. I was almost hard watching how nurturing Ben was being.
Ben and I laughed as we walked through the Carlton Gardens.
“Talk about picking someone up,” I said.
“You just have to get them drunk and then carry them home,” said Ben.
Ben carried Felix into his house. “What shall we do with him?”
“Put him to bed.”
“What bed?” asked Ben. “Mine is the only one made up.”
“Put him in your bed?”
“Where will we sleep?”
“Oh, with him, it’s a king size, it won’t matter,” I said.
Ben carried Felix into his bedroom and lay him down on the bed. Felix lay down in the middle of the bed and was out cold.
“What now?” said Ben.
I took his shoes off. “Sit him up.” Ben sat Felix up and I took his suit jacket off him. I undid his tie as Ben held him.
“What are we doing?” mumbled Felix.
“Putting you to bed,” I said.
“Are you coming to bed too?”
“We will,” I said.
“Sleep with me,” said Felix.
I unbuttoned his shirt. His toned chest came into view. “The boy goes to the gym,” I said.
“I do,” Felix slurred.
I slid his shirt down his arms. His skin was soft.
“Lay down,” I said. He lay back down. I undid his pants. I unzipped his fly. I pulled his pants down his nice thighs. He had a tuft of pubes coming out the top of his striped briefs, which he filled out well. I’d be lying if I said this didn’t turn me on just a little. He had thick thighs and nice legs. He had big balls and he looked like he had a decent sausage on him.
We both stood for a moment taking in his near naked vision. Toned chest, flat, four-pack stomach, thick legs.
“Sexy boy,” said Ben.
“Sexy boy,” I said.
We pulled the doona over him.
Ben and I screwed in the lounge room. I fucked Ben sitting on the couch with his feet over my shoulders.
“You wanna do this to Felix?” I asked him.
“Oh yeah,” said Ben. He started to cum at the thought. “Oh my god,” he said. He was pulling his big, fat cock, suddenly he erupted with thick strands of cum shooting all over his chest.
“Oh yeah!” I unloaded up Ben’s arse.
We showered in Ben’s en suite while Felix slept. We contemplated getting in with Felix unshowered and covered in sweat and cum, but decided that perhaps it wasn’t such good manners the first time we crawl into bed with him when he was unconscious.
We stood naked either side of the bed and contemplated getting in with him naked.
“That could so easily end up in HR,” said Ben.
“Do you think?” I said.
We pulled on our jocks and got in either side of Felix. He rolled over on his side and spooned to Ben’s back. I spooned to Felix’s back. I could feel the hair on his legs on mine as they entwined. I pushed my cock into the crack in his arse and got hard, it felt good, but was asleep in no time after that.
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