Xmas Party… in Jul… er, August
There was no EOFY party this year, of course, how things have changed, but I just found last year’s Xmas Party which for some reason I didn’t post. So, here is to how things used to be, and hopefully will be again.
I like parties thrown by work, as they are catted affairs and no expense is spared by a wealthy law firm. We have a Xmas party every year.
Open bar, unlimited food, a chance to get up close and personal with your favourite work mates, what’s not to like.
We all drank ourselves stupid and we all ate until we thought we were going to burst, well, I did. I had to undo my belt on the way home. Finger food, hors d'oeuvres, pastries and gorgeous things on biscuits, small pies, and sausage rolls, and tasty things on various types of bread, and balls of meat and balls of rice and balls of seafood, as just seafood and more balls, and just food as far as one could see.
The walls all fold back on the meeting rooms, to make one huge space, the last meeting room resplendent with a full bar, which is usually reserved for the partners, or wealthy clients, naturally. Suck up to the geezers who have the cash, naturally. The partners have to pay for their new Bentley’s somehow.
There was a full wait staff and bar staff.
I hung out with Ben, of course, several people even had the audacity to call him my better half, which, of course, he is, but I’m not admitting that to anyone.
All the secretaries love him. “He’s so handsome,” they say. Titter, titter.
“I agree,” I say.
The girls all laugh. They are titillated, to be honest. Two ‘normal’ boys, as they so often say. I always want to correct the ‘normal’, but I don’t think they’d get it. Oh, I mean, they do get it, but it is straight privilege speaking, it is not their world. Of course, I should be a flag waver for the ‘team’ but, you know, sometimes I can be fagged. (Ha ha, do you like that?)
“You know I was on track to be one of the youngest partners,” said Ben. “But when all the Josh nonsense happened, then I was overlooked.” I elbowed him in the ribs, he gave me a sideways look. What does he want to be partner for anyway, is all I could think? How many hours a week do partners work? I’d never see him.
“It was scandalous how it got started,” said Belinda Horton, the Director of IT’s secretary. “Drunkenly, and on the dance floor at the EOFY Party.” Belinda smiled, she loves anything ‘sexual. She gave me a look. I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrows, I could feel them go up automatically, as if the puppeteer had taken over. (Belinda loves the young grads, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. She and I always have the which-one-would-you when the grads arrive each year.)
“We all saw more than we should have that night,” said Carla de Carlo, HR secretary, with her cat’s bum face. (I don’t know, is she homophobic? Buttoned up as if the next dick she gets will be her first.)
“You were spoken to by HR?” questioned Jesse Du Fray, Ben’s secretary.
“Not really, because we were already in a relationship, so we got away with it.” Ben did parenthesis with his fingers.
So, officially, after our work EOFY Party 2019 we were a couple.
“And it was nonsense. We got friendly at the EOFY Party and clearly went home with each other. And everybody was expecting Ben to say he was sexually assaulted, or whatever? Everyone was expecting a sexual impropriatory claim to be made.”
“And when it didn’t?” said Kaye.
“Well, everyone forgot, until I bought Josh to the next party as my date.”
“Trivia night,” said Carla. “You walked in holding hands.”
“And everyone stammered and said, Oh now we get it,” I said. “Wasn’t he on our team though?” Ben gave me a look.
“You are both good looking guys…” said Belinda. She’s told me before how she could never cope at gay bars, when the guys wouldn’t look at her. Just stare at my tits, take a second look at my arse, give me something, she said.
“And you know what I reckon, it is easier for the good looking to get away with it,” said Jesse.
“But I got bumped from the new partner list…” said Ben
“You are back on it now,” said Gabriel Knight, Head of Melbourne office, hanging over from behind us all. “You clearly need better intel.”
“I am,” said Ben. “Since when?” Wow, Gabrielle has clearly had one too many whiskies to be blurting that out in front of everyone.
“Since,” said Gabriel, “Over our last partner lunches. Are you surprised?”
“Oh, now, yeah…” stumbled Ben.
“Come on,” said Gabriel.
“Sure, I have proved myself to be adaptable…”
Gabriel patted Ben on the back and headed to the bar.
“He took a shine to me, right after the Ben stuff,” I said.
“Well, you know…” said Ben, raising his eyebrows.
“What are you saying?” asked Belinda.
“Oh,” what was I saying. “I wouldn’t got as far to say that that distinguished silver fox is an old,” I dropped my voice to a whisper, “homo, I’m not saying that…”
“I think you are,” said Kaye.
“But I am saying that I would use the suggestion of…”
“What are you saying?” said Carla.
“Yes,” I guess I am just drunk enough to go there, “I would flirt with the guy if it meant getting information. Yes, I would do that.”
“I would too,” said Belinda. We gave each other a look.
“I think we have proven ourselves to be an accepting work place,” said Carla. I’m not sure that you have to, I think.
“We’re all inclusive,” said Jesse.
“No one cares?” said Marion, in her usual blunt way.
“No one cares, once they see the relationship is as normal as theirs, then they don’t care. Live and Let Live. People have got bigger problems of their own,” said Ben.
“No one cares who Ben screws, in the end,” said Jesse.
Even old lawyers have their limits, it would seem, “I, perhaps, wouldn’t have put it quite like that, but generally people are rather keen to mind their own business in the end,” said Carla.
“I’m going to the bar,” I said. “Can I get anyone more to drink?” Everyone held up their still full glasses.
“I’m coming…” said Ben.
“That’s not the first time you’ve heard that,” said Belinda in my ear.
“To get more food,” said Ben.
“I think you have had quite enough, young lady,” I said to Belinda. We both laughed.
We danced together on the dance floor. Ben said champagne made him silly, so I kept up the champagne. At one stage we were sculling from the bottle.
“You don’t want to be partner, do you?” I asked.
“Maybe,” said Ben. He gave a coy look.
We started to touch each other, we both had the need. I kissed him under the dark dance lights.
“We should go and mingle with the others,” I said. “We’re getting looks.”
We drank more. We ate more. Everyone did.
He’s told that joke, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is, on several occasions. It usually depended on how much he’d had to drink.
Roll of the eyes.
Ben and I found each other in the kitchen at the same time getting more food for the gathered. We turned to see the other one there, kind of unexpectedly and, you know, I'm always hot for Ben in a suit, as he is for me. I got him up against a wall in the corner of the kitchen and snogged him really well.
“We shouldn’t be doing…” gasped Ben.
And before we knew it, Danny DeVito, the catering manager walked in as we had our tongues down each other's throats.
"Hey, hey, you two, keep yourselves nice."
A bit drunk and with apparent pash rash we both turned around, according to Danny, looking as guilty as two love struck young boys. As I pulled my hand out of Ben's suit pants.
"I always heard the stories about you two..."
"What stories?" I asked.
"Yeah, what stories?" asked Ben.
"Don't worry, don't worry, your secret is safe with me?"
"What secret?" I asked.
"This is not a secret," said Ben.
Dany shrugged. "Don't worry." He laughed. "I think it is nice, you know."
"What's nice?" I asked.
"It's not nice if you are doing it right," said Ben, at which point I realised he was drunker than I initially realised.
"I like it that you two guys are into each other," said Danny. "It makes a change from the bitching and complaining I usually get in here."
We looked at each other and laughed.
"And if you give me a minute to grab the canopies, I'll leave you to it."
"Ah, we were just..."
"If there are any babies, name them after me, will you."
"What do you say, Ben?" I said.
"Fuck off," said Ben.
"Now boys, back to kissing," were Danny's last words as he disappeared through the double swinging doors with an oversized tray of pastries. "Where are my wait staff?" he called as he went.
I picked up a tray of pies, and ben picked up a tray of pastries and we followed Danny. “Wow! Two of the most over paid waiters I have ever had.”
“Back in my uni days, it was how I paid the rent,” said Ben.
“I thought you had a sugar daddy?” I said.
“Seriously?” said Ben.
Ben, Danny and I were mingling with the crowd. “Pies?” I asked. “I baked them myself.”
“I preferred the blond in the short skirt,” said Jeremiah Gertrude.
I looked around to see Ben standing with his tray. “He promised never to wear it outside the house.
“Pastries?” asked Ben.
Two secretaries told me that Ben and I were their favourite couple.
“Oo, I like my waiters in Boss Suits,” said that well respected old lush Elizabeth Barry.
“This is Armani,” I said.
Jessica Parry ran her hand down my chest before she took a pie. “Don’t mind if I do.”
Danny hunted down his waiters and we were soon relieved of our waiting duties.
I was light headed as Ben and I walked out into Collins Street at midnight.
“Can you hail a taxi?”
“I think I’ll be right, as long as I don’t try to lift my arm and take a step at the same time.”
“I know,” I said. “Never mix wine and spirits, that’s what granny always told me.”
“And you didn’t listen,” asked Ben.
“There have been a lot of things granny said to which I haven’t listened.”
We both laughed, as we held each other up on the edge of the footpath.
“We could walk?” I said.
“Seriously?” asked Ben.
At that moment, cute grad Dean Tonkin and lawyer Carly Bellows were leaving together. You go girl, I thought, snagging a cute, young one.
“Evening,” said Ben.
Both Dean and Carly blushed. Bunnies in the headlights, their hands slipped out of each other’s grip.
“Nice night for it,” I said. I tried to sound funny, but I think it just sounded pointed.
Ben punched me in the arm. “What are you saying?”
I grimaced, I could feel my mouth turn down. I laughed.
Ben laughed.
We continued holding each other up until the taxi pulled up.
I like parties thrown by work, as they are catted affairs and no expense is spared by a wealthy law firm. We have a Xmas party every year.
Open bar, unlimited food, a chance to get up close and personal with your favourite work mates, what’s not to like.
We all drank ourselves stupid and we all ate until we thought we were going to burst, well, I did. I had to undo my belt on the way home. Finger food, hors d'oeuvres, pastries and gorgeous things on biscuits, small pies, and sausage rolls, and tasty things on various types of bread, and balls of meat and balls of rice and balls of seafood, as just seafood and more balls, and just food as far as one could see.
The walls all fold back on the meeting rooms, to make one huge space, the last meeting room resplendent with a full bar, which is usually reserved for the partners, or wealthy clients, naturally. Suck up to the geezers who have the cash, naturally. The partners have to pay for their new Bentley’s somehow.
There was a full wait staff and bar staff.
I hung out with Ben, of course, several people even had the audacity to call him my better half, which, of course, he is, but I’m not admitting that to anyone.
All the secretaries love him. “He’s so handsome,” they say. Titter, titter.
“I agree,” I say.
The girls all laugh. They are titillated, to be honest. Two ‘normal’ boys, as they so often say. I always want to correct the ‘normal’, but I don’t think they’d get it. Oh, I mean, they do get it, but it is straight privilege speaking, it is not their world. Of course, I should be a flag waver for the ‘team’ but, you know, sometimes I can be fagged. (Ha ha, do you like that?)
“You know I was on track to be one of the youngest partners,” said Ben. “But when all the Josh nonsense happened, then I was overlooked.” I elbowed him in the ribs, he gave me a sideways look. What does he want to be partner for anyway, is all I could think? How many hours a week do partners work? I’d never see him.
“It was scandalous how it got started,” said Belinda Horton, the Director of IT’s secretary. “Drunkenly, and on the dance floor at the EOFY Party.” Belinda smiled, she loves anything ‘sexual. She gave me a look. I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrows, I could feel them go up automatically, as if the puppeteer had taken over. (Belinda loves the young grads, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. She and I always have the which-one-would-you when the grads arrive each year.)
“We all saw more than we should have that night,” said Carla de Carlo, HR secretary, with her cat’s bum face. (I don’t know, is she homophobic? Buttoned up as if the next dick she gets will be her first.)
“You were spoken to by HR?” questioned Jesse Du Fray, Ben’s secretary.
“Not really, because we were already in a relationship, so we got away with it.” Ben did parenthesis with his fingers.
So, officially, after our work EOFY Party 2019 we were a couple.
“And it was nonsense. We got friendly at the EOFY Party and clearly went home with each other. And everybody was expecting Ben to say he was sexually assaulted, or whatever? Everyone was expecting a sexual impropriatory claim to be made.”
“And when it didn’t?” said Kaye.
“Well, everyone forgot, until I bought Josh to the next party as my date.”
“Trivia night,” said Carla. “You walked in holding hands.”
“And everyone stammered and said, Oh now we get it,” I said. “Wasn’t he on our team though?” Ben gave me a look.
“You are both good looking guys…” said Belinda. She’s told me before how she could never cope at gay bars, when the guys wouldn’t look at her. Just stare at my tits, take a second look at my arse, give me something, she said.
“And you know what I reckon, it is easier for the good looking to get away with it,” said Jesse.
“But I got bumped from the new partner list…” said Ben
“You are back on it now,” said Gabriel Knight, Head of Melbourne office, hanging over from behind us all. “You clearly need better intel.”
“I am,” said Ben. “Since when?” Wow, Gabrielle has clearly had one too many whiskies to be blurting that out in front of everyone.
“Since,” said Gabriel, “Over our last partner lunches. Are you surprised?”
“Oh, now, yeah…” stumbled Ben.
“Come on,” said Gabriel.
“Sure, I have proved myself to be adaptable…”
Gabriel patted Ben on the back and headed to the bar.
“He took a shine to me, right after the Ben stuff,” I said.
“Well, you know…” said Ben, raising his eyebrows.
“What are you saying?” asked Belinda.
“Oh,” what was I saying. “I wouldn’t got as far to say that that distinguished silver fox is an old,” I dropped my voice to a whisper, “homo, I’m not saying that…”
“I think you are,” said Kaye.
“But I am saying that I would use the suggestion of…”
“What are you saying?” said Carla.
“Yes,” I guess I am just drunk enough to go there, “I would flirt with the guy if it meant getting information. Yes, I would do that.”
“I would too,” said Belinda. We gave each other a look.
“I think we have proven ourselves to be an accepting work place,” said Carla. I’m not sure that you have to, I think.
“We’re all inclusive,” said Jesse.
“No one cares?” said Marion, in her usual blunt way.
“No one cares, once they see the relationship is as normal as theirs, then they don’t care. Live and Let Live. People have got bigger problems of their own,” said Ben.
“No one cares who Ben screws, in the end,” said Jesse.
Even old lawyers have their limits, it would seem, “I, perhaps, wouldn’t have put it quite like that, but generally people are rather keen to mind their own business in the end,” said Carla.
“I’m going to the bar,” I said. “Can I get anyone more to drink?” Everyone held up their still full glasses.
“I’m coming…” said Ben.
“That’s not the first time you’ve heard that,” said Belinda in my ear.
“To get more food,” said Ben.
“I think you have had quite enough, young lady,” I said to Belinda. We both laughed.
We danced together on the dance floor. Ben said champagne made him silly, so I kept up the champagne. At one stage we were sculling from the bottle.
“You don’t want to be partner, do you?” I asked.
“Maybe,” said Ben. He gave a coy look.
We started to touch each other, we both had the need. I kissed him under the dark dance lights.
“We should go and mingle with the others,” I said. “We’re getting looks.”
We drank more. We ate more. Everyone did.
He’s told that joke, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is, on several occasions. It usually depended on how much he’d had to drink.
Roll of the eyes.
Ben and I found each other in the kitchen at the same time getting more food for the gathered. We turned to see the other one there, kind of unexpectedly and, you know, I'm always hot for Ben in a suit, as he is for me. I got him up against a wall in the corner of the kitchen and snogged him really well.
“We shouldn’t be doing…” gasped Ben.
And before we knew it, Danny DeVito, the catering manager walked in as we had our tongues down each other's throats.
"Hey, hey, you two, keep yourselves nice."
A bit drunk and with apparent pash rash we both turned around, according to Danny, looking as guilty as two love struck young boys. As I pulled my hand out of Ben's suit pants.
"I always heard the stories about you two..."
"What stories?" I asked.
"Yeah, what stories?" asked Ben.
"Don't worry, don't worry, your secret is safe with me?"
"What secret?" I asked.
"This is not a secret," said Ben.
Dany shrugged. "Don't worry." He laughed. "I think it is nice, you know."
"What's nice?" I asked.
"It's not nice if you are doing it right," said Ben, at which point I realised he was drunker than I initially realised.
"I like it that you two guys are into each other," said Danny. "It makes a change from the bitching and complaining I usually get in here."
We looked at each other and laughed.
"And if you give me a minute to grab the canopies, I'll leave you to it."
"Ah, we were just..."
"If there are any babies, name them after me, will you."
"What do you say, Ben?" I said.
"Fuck off," said Ben.
"Now boys, back to kissing," were Danny's last words as he disappeared through the double swinging doors with an oversized tray of pastries. "Where are my wait staff?" he called as he went.
I picked up a tray of pies, and ben picked up a tray of pastries and we followed Danny. “Wow! Two of the most over paid waiters I have ever had.”
“Back in my uni days, it was how I paid the rent,” said Ben.
“I thought you had a sugar daddy?” I said.
“Seriously?” said Ben.
Ben, Danny and I were mingling with the crowd. “Pies?” I asked. “I baked them myself.”
“I preferred the blond in the short skirt,” said Jeremiah Gertrude.
I looked around to see Ben standing with his tray. “He promised never to wear it outside the house.
“Pastries?” asked Ben.
Two secretaries told me that Ben and I were their favourite couple.
“Oo, I like my waiters in Boss Suits,” said that well respected old lush Elizabeth Barry.
“This is Armani,” I said.
Jessica Parry ran her hand down my chest before she took a pie. “Don’t mind if I do.”
Danny hunted down his waiters and we were soon relieved of our waiting duties.
I was light headed as Ben and I walked out into Collins Street at midnight.
“Can you hail a taxi?”
“I think I’ll be right, as long as I don’t try to lift my arm and take a step at the same time.”
“I know,” I said. “Never mix wine and spirits, that’s what granny always told me.”
“And you didn’t listen,” asked Ben.
“There have been a lot of things granny said to which I haven’t listened.”
We both laughed, as we held each other up on the edge of the footpath.
“We could walk?” I said.
“Seriously?” asked Ben.
At that moment, cute grad Dean Tonkin and lawyer Carly Bellows were leaving together. You go girl, I thought, snagging a cute, young one.
“Evening,” said Ben.
Both Dean and Carly blushed. Bunnies in the headlights, their hands slipped out of each other’s grip.
“Nice night for it,” I said. I tried to sound funny, but I think it just sounded pointed.
Ben punched me in the arm. “What are you saying?”
I grimaced, I could feel my mouth turn down. I laughed.
Ben laughed.
We continued holding each other up until the taxi pulled up.
Comments
Post a Comment