It's Not Just Your Teeth That Change Colour

Red wine stains your teeth when you over indulge. Late in the dinner party night, the punters can look possessed by the devil when their mouths turn black. Too pissed and your eyes turn black too.

But that is not all…

Red wine pooh, it makes the toilet paper look like gravely liquorice smeared across it.

Who looks? I know I always do.

Nick says it's disgusting.

My mother always told me to look for health reasons. Floaters are good.

“Toothpaste consistency is what you want,” Amanda always spruiked, from when Daniel and I were little boys.

But, the red wine pooh can be quite a shock, when you have a quick glance, black on the toilet tissue. Because, black always means blood, and bleeding from the inside is never good.

I will never drink red wine again, I call out to the deity of pooh, when I have such proof of my mortality in my hand.

I AM SHITTING DEATH!, one might call out on a particularly bad day after.