Mum Visits
I'm pinching Daniel's pot again. All week, I hang my head. I ran out last Friday.
I'm constantly amazed with myself that I can put things back exactly as I find them. Well, I know when I am being devious and underhand and my mind switches to, for want of a better expression, criminal mode, so I naturally observe things as soon as I start to act. It's easy, you only have to be observant. Everything back exactly as it was.
I was straight into it from the moment I got up. I stood at the kitchen bench and gazed out into the garden as the coffee brewed and thought about it as soon as I and the day were getting acquainted.
I had no sooner puffed the last of it, whilst sipping on my coffee when the doorbell rang.
I glanced over at the clock and it was 9.05. "Oh, really."
I peeked through the eye-hole in the front door, to see Amanda standing there. Why was she here so early? It was unlike her to arrive unannounced. Had she made a date with me and I'd forgotten?
I swung the door open. I was standing there in a t-shirt and my jocks.
"Well." Amanda looked me up and down and then laughed. "Good morning to you my baby boy."
"Mum?"
She sighed. "Not a baby anymore."
"You're early." I chose that tact in case I had forgotten that we did, indeed, have a date. If we did, I figured she would confirm the fact. And if we didn't, she'd reply, early for what? and I could make a general comment about it being early in the day.
"I did a good job of raising you. Thank me."
"Thanks mum." I was still trying to remember, nothing? And the joint was landing in my head. Lunch? No, I'm sure. I had a free morning, but she didn’t know that. If she wanted me to do an errand, you know like go to St Kilda via Kew... "since you are heading that way." ... annoyingly, like she could do... she'd have called and asked me over to her place.
"Well, are you going to invite me in... or were you just off to the..." She looked down at my jocks, momentarily. "... beach?"
I stepped back out of the way of the door and made a sweeping gesture with my hand. "Come..." and I forgot the next bit, that joint must have been strong, and it took me all my time not to giggle, you know in that give-in-to-the-stoned-feeling for the first time. "... er... in."
"You know Josh, you look a bit pale." She pinched my cheek, I kid you not. "Have you been looking after yourself?" She headed off down the hallway, as I closed the front door.
"What is the parking limit around here?"
"An hour."
"Oh good... I must admit, I didn't look, I was just soooooooooooooo excited to, actually, find a vacant parking spot around here."
She stepped into the kitchen, just as I caught up.
"Oh, I see." She waved her hand around in the air. "Not sick at all."
The kitchen stank. I smiled nervously, like getting caught out. Well, not really, it's not really like that, bad son being caught out by his mum, but it had a certain essence of it.
"Oh really, Josh." She pulled her arm up and glanced at her watch. "At 9 o'clock in the morning, is that really good for you?"
"Yes, mum... It's great to see you, too." I exhaled. "Do you want coffee? It's just brewed."
"Coffee would be lovely, darling."
I nodded my head in appreciation and headed to the cupboard to get another cup.
"Have you got a job yet?"
I felt a sharp, stabbing pain in my back, as I reached for the cup. "What?" I spun around to eye-ball her, to see a wide grin spreading across her face.
I still hadn’t told her, this was just a fluke, I worked late, I took the morning off. I could take the whole day, I worked until midnight.
"You know mum, you may think you are very funny, but as you pointed out so rightly, it is still only 9 o'clock in the morning."
Mum started to laugh.
Oh yes, very funny! I'm glad I can be of such amusement to you. I was clearly on a short fuse, one I didn't know I was on.
"Look at your face, it's priceless." She continued to laugh.
I laughed too.
"I can still push your buttons, darling, it is nice to see."
"Ha, ha."
"Your dear old mum, she's still got it."
"Is there a reason for this visit?" I asked. "Or have you just come to sharpen your claws?"
"Oh, don't be like that, can't your mum drop into see you... or are you far... too... busy... for that now?" She finished the last half of the sentence off in baby-speak, complete with lip gestures and cradling arm motions.
I poured the coffee. "Sugar?"
"You know I don't take sugar."
"Just checking."
"I'm on my way to lunch with the girls in Essendon and I realised I was practically driving past your front door, so I swung the car in to visit for 5 minutes."
"You are awfully early for lunch, aren't you?"
"Oh, yes... um... er... I was going to do a little shopping in the city... but then I thought of you."
There she sat, a woman whose life has turned out exactly right, she looked beautiful and serene. She has an adoring husband, two handsome, even if I do say so, sons, she’s always been proud of, her two good looking boys. The Grant boys, as we used to be known. Quite a catch, either one of those two boys, as mum’s friends liked to tell her … lots of friends and a good dose of accumulated wealth.
She’s gone a bit Chanel Suit lately, I guess she was moving into the next age bracket… gracefully into her sixties.
“A contact of your father has a job for a lawyer.”
And there you have it, mum’s reason for visiting. A job for me. Does she not get it? I thought she did. Really? I still haven’t told her. I kind of lost interest after that. I think she realised.
We drank coffee and she left not long after for lunch with the “girls.” Girls? All of them her age. Still girls. Ha ha.
I walked into work.
I'm constantly amazed with myself that I can put things back exactly as I find them. Well, I know when I am being devious and underhand and my mind switches to, for want of a better expression, criminal mode, so I naturally observe things as soon as I start to act. It's easy, you only have to be observant. Everything back exactly as it was.
I was straight into it from the moment I got up. I stood at the kitchen bench and gazed out into the garden as the coffee brewed and thought about it as soon as I and the day were getting acquainted.
I had no sooner puffed the last of it, whilst sipping on my coffee when the doorbell rang.
I glanced over at the clock and it was 9.05. "Oh, really."
I peeked through the eye-hole in the front door, to see Amanda standing there. Why was she here so early? It was unlike her to arrive unannounced. Had she made a date with me and I'd forgotten?
I swung the door open. I was standing there in a t-shirt and my jocks.
"Well." Amanda looked me up and down and then laughed. "Good morning to you my baby boy."
"Mum?"
She sighed. "Not a baby anymore."
"You're early." I chose that tact in case I had forgotten that we did, indeed, have a date. If we did, I figured she would confirm the fact. And if we didn't, she'd reply, early for what? and I could make a general comment about it being early in the day.
"I did a good job of raising you. Thank me."
"Thanks mum." I was still trying to remember, nothing? And the joint was landing in my head. Lunch? No, I'm sure. I had a free morning, but she didn’t know that. If she wanted me to do an errand, you know like go to St Kilda via Kew... "since you are heading that way." ... annoyingly, like she could do... she'd have called and asked me over to her place.
"Well, are you going to invite me in... or were you just off to the..." She looked down at my jocks, momentarily. "... beach?"
I stepped back out of the way of the door and made a sweeping gesture with my hand. "Come..." and I forgot the next bit, that joint must have been strong, and it took me all my time not to giggle, you know in that give-in-to-the-stoned-feeling for the first time. "... er... in."
"You know Josh, you look a bit pale." She pinched my cheek, I kid you not. "Have you been looking after yourself?" She headed off down the hallway, as I closed the front door.
"What is the parking limit around here?"
"An hour."
"Oh good... I must admit, I didn't look, I was just soooooooooooooo excited to, actually, find a vacant parking spot around here."
She stepped into the kitchen, just as I caught up.
"Oh, I see." She waved her hand around in the air. "Not sick at all."
The kitchen stank. I smiled nervously, like getting caught out. Well, not really, it's not really like that, bad son being caught out by his mum, but it had a certain essence of it.
"Oh really, Josh." She pulled her arm up and glanced at her watch. "At 9 o'clock in the morning, is that really good for you?"
"Yes, mum... It's great to see you, too." I exhaled. "Do you want coffee? It's just brewed."
"Coffee would be lovely, darling."
I nodded my head in appreciation and headed to the cupboard to get another cup.
"Have you got a job yet?"
I felt a sharp, stabbing pain in my back, as I reached for the cup. "What?" I spun around to eye-ball her, to see a wide grin spreading across her face.
I still hadn’t told her, this was just a fluke, I worked late, I took the morning off. I could take the whole day, I worked until midnight.
"You know mum, you may think you are very funny, but as you pointed out so rightly, it is still only 9 o'clock in the morning."
Mum started to laugh.
Oh yes, very funny! I'm glad I can be of such amusement to you. I was clearly on a short fuse, one I didn't know I was on.
"Look at your face, it's priceless." She continued to laugh.
I laughed too.
"I can still push your buttons, darling, it is nice to see."
"Ha, ha."
"Your dear old mum, she's still got it."
"Is there a reason for this visit?" I asked. "Or have you just come to sharpen your claws?"
"Oh, don't be like that, can't your mum drop into see you... or are you far... too... busy... for that now?" She finished the last half of the sentence off in baby-speak, complete with lip gestures and cradling arm motions.
I poured the coffee. "Sugar?"
"You know I don't take sugar."
"Just checking."
"I'm on my way to lunch with the girls in Essendon and I realised I was practically driving past your front door, so I swung the car in to visit for 5 minutes."
"You are awfully early for lunch, aren't you?"
"Oh, yes... um... er... I was going to do a little shopping in the city... but then I thought of you."
There she sat, a woman whose life has turned out exactly right, she looked beautiful and serene. She has an adoring husband, two handsome, even if I do say so, sons, she’s always been proud of, her two good looking boys. The Grant boys, as we used to be known. Quite a catch, either one of those two boys, as mum’s friends liked to tell her … lots of friends and a good dose of accumulated wealth.
She’s gone a bit Chanel Suit lately, I guess she was moving into the next age bracket… gracefully into her sixties.
“A contact of your father has a job for a lawyer.”
And there you have it, mum’s reason for visiting. A job for me. Does she not get it? I thought she did. Really? I still haven’t told her. I kind of lost interest after that. I think she realised.
We drank coffee and she left not long after for lunch with the “girls.” Girls? All of them her age. Still girls. Ha ha.
I walked into work.
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