Happy New Year
My doorbell was ringing, I could hear it, I just couldn’t tell where it was.
It rang again.
Okay, keep your pants on. I was face down on the couch, that much I had worked out. I had a doona over me. I stuck out a limb, oo, it was cold.
Bring, bring, bring…
I was in my lounge room, that was good. It was a good start, at least I knew I was on safe ground. I sat up. It wasn’t actually as cold as that first limb out of the crypt.
Bring, bring, bring…
The furniture was everywhere, and I had had a bed fashioned for me. Nice work, well done.
Bring, bring, bring…
Oh, yes, you. Mick was on the other couch, passed out, otherwise I was alone, I felt that was a distinct advantage at this moment in time. And I had on jocks and a t-shirt.
Bring, bring, bring…
I staggered up the hallway, and opened the door, before the dreaded Bring, bring, bring… sounded again.
“Good morning.” It was Jeff with giant sun flowers.
“I had a dream very like this once…”
“You look as though you took your last breath 5 hours ago, and here is the lifeless corpse I see standing before me…”
“Jeff.” My voice didn’t work, and I made the dard’est impression of Scooby Do. Although it was huskier, less joyous. Not joyous, definitely no joy was being had. I leant against the door frame.
“I got these for you to help you see in the new year.”
I had giant sunflowers shoved into my face. And they smell. Without moving a centimetre, I said, “Shall I get a vase?”
Jeff followed me down the hall.
Further down the hall, Naked Murry, still with a cock ring on and half a fat. Was that cum dripping from Murray’s cock. And Bruno, still with a woody bouncing from his loins, rush from my room, giggling, and on tiptoes when they see us, and into the bathroom. They close the door.
Daniel comes out of his door, with a doona around him, that jams in the door frame and slides off, he catches it by a thread from exposing his manhood, followed by a buxom girl, origin unknown, with giant free flowing tits. Good god woman, put them away.
“Daaa… oh, well, hello, what’s your name?” says Jeff.
They stand naked, giggling in the hallway when they see the bathroom is taken.
“I’ve seen more of you in the last few days,” says Jeff. “And considerably more today…” The girl pulls the doona up over her chest. “I’m sure you look really good, normally, as usual.”
Mike comes out of the spare room, naked as you like, to see what all the commotion. A muscled twink pushes out passed Mike, as naked as you like, no shame between the two of them.
“Hi, I’m Jeff.” He holds out a hand to shake them. Yeah, that’s not a good idea, isn’t Jeff a germophobe?
Apparently, I would find out later. We went to the pub, kind of a sad sack’s new year, and it was my idea to drink marguerites. And that was the girl Daniel picked up at the bar, and that was the twink that Mike picked up at the bar, and Mick and I, of course, picked up no one, and woke up on the couch. But that is later.
“What are you running here, Josh, a bordello?” said Jeff.
“Bordello, who even uses that word.”
“You literally, let me in and then run me through a maze of people, who have all clearly had sex with each other, and you question my use of the word bordello?”
“No memory what so ever of what that was all about.”
“It looked like a pretty exciting scene.”
“Alcohol is nasty stuff, not a clue, the only thing I am thinking is coffee, would you like one?”
“Do bears shit in the woods, Josh?”
“Is it me, or were you always this weird?”
“Answer the question Josh.”
“I’m unsure of anything, just at the moment.”
“Do you have a vase for these. Giant sun flowers were shoved in my face again.
I got a vase.
“Do bears…?” Jeff says it as a question to me, so that was one clue.
“Oh yes, shit in the woods, taking a wild guess, yes.”
“There’s your answer.”
“What was the question?” Seriously, I was beginning to wonder if it was me?
“Coffee.”
“Do you want coffee, Jeff.”
“You are starting to talk about yourself in the 3rd person, what is going on?”
“Am I?”
Jeff laughed. “No, just testing.”
I felt myself open and close my mouth.
It rang again.
Okay, keep your pants on. I was face down on the couch, that much I had worked out. I had a doona over me. I stuck out a limb, oo, it was cold.
Bring, bring, bring…
I was in my lounge room, that was good. It was a good start, at least I knew I was on safe ground. I sat up. It wasn’t actually as cold as that first limb out of the crypt.
Bring, bring, bring…
The furniture was everywhere, and I had had a bed fashioned for me. Nice work, well done.
Bring, bring, bring…
Oh, yes, you. Mick was on the other couch, passed out, otherwise I was alone, I felt that was a distinct advantage at this moment in time. And I had on jocks and a t-shirt.
Bring, bring, bring…
I staggered up the hallway, and opened the door, before the dreaded Bring, bring, bring… sounded again.
“Good morning.” It was Jeff with giant sun flowers.
“I had a dream very like this once…”
“You look as though you took your last breath 5 hours ago, and here is the lifeless corpse I see standing before me…”
“Jeff.” My voice didn’t work, and I made the dard’est impression of Scooby Do. Although it was huskier, less joyous. Not joyous, definitely no joy was being had. I leant against the door frame.
“I got these for you to help you see in the new year.”
I had giant sunflowers shoved into my face. And they smell. Without moving a centimetre, I said, “Shall I get a vase?”
Jeff followed me down the hall.
Further down the hall, Naked Murry, still with a cock ring on and half a fat. Was that cum dripping from Murray’s cock. And Bruno, still with a woody bouncing from his loins, rush from my room, giggling, and on tiptoes when they see us, and into the bathroom. They close the door.
Daniel comes out of his door, with a doona around him, that jams in the door frame and slides off, he catches it by a thread from exposing his manhood, followed by a buxom girl, origin unknown, with giant free flowing tits. Good god woman, put them away.
“Daaa… oh, well, hello, what’s your name?” says Jeff.
They stand naked, giggling in the hallway when they see the bathroom is taken.
“I’ve seen more of you in the last few days,” says Jeff. “And considerably more today…” The girl pulls the doona up over her chest. “I’m sure you look really good, normally, as usual.”
Mike comes out of the spare room, naked as you like, to see what all the commotion. A muscled twink pushes out passed Mike, as naked as you like, no shame between the two of them.
“Hi, I’m Jeff.” He holds out a hand to shake them. Yeah, that’s not a good idea, isn’t Jeff a germophobe?
Apparently, I would find out later. We went to the pub, kind of a sad sack’s new year, and it was my idea to drink marguerites. And that was the girl Daniel picked up at the bar, and that was the twink that Mike picked up at the bar, and Mick and I, of course, picked up no one, and woke up on the couch. But that is later.
“What are you running here, Josh, a bordello?” said Jeff.
“Bordello, who even uses that word.”
“You literally, let me in and then run me through a maze of people, who have all clearly had sex with each other, and you question my use of the word bordello?”
“No memory what so ever of what that was all about.”
“It looked like a pretty exciting scene.”
“Alcohol is nasty stuff, not a clue, the only thing I am thinking is coffee, would you like one?”
“Do bears shit in the woods, Josh?”
“Is it me, or were you always this weird?”
“Answer the question Josh.”
“I’m unsure of anything, just at the moment.”
“Do you have a vase for these. Giant sun flowers were shoved in my face again.
I got a vase.
“Do bears…?” Jeff says it as a question to me, so that was one clue.
“Oh yes, shit in the woods, taking a wild guess, yes.”
“There’s your answer.”
“What was the question?” Seriously, I was beginning to wonder if it was me?
“Coffee.”
“Do you want coffee, Jeff.”
“You are starting to talk about yourself in the 3rd person, what is going on?”
“Am I?”
Jeff laughed. “No, just testing.”
I felt myself open and close my mouth.
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