BBQ
I text mum at 8am and told her I had a terrible migraine and that I didn’t feel well and that I wouldn’t be able to visit her this morning. We were sitting in the lounge room in dressing gowns. I was seeing double, to tell you the truth and in no state to go anywhere.
I remember seeing the time at 10am, thinking I’d have to be going now. Then I saw the clock again at 15.30.
We got up around 5pm. I had to go to a BBQ, so Matthew had to go. He tried to talk me into cancelling, but I just could. It had been planned for ages, all of my crew were going to be there.
I looked at the car and contemplated it momentarily. Not 20 anymore, I thought.
I picked up my sunglasses, which was amazing that I found them, because I never normally can. I picked up the packet of cigarettes in the kitchen, I guessed they were Daniel's, which didn't ring true, but they weren't mine. I thought I'd need them,
I caught a taxi.
As the car got going, I didn’t know why I didn’t take Matthew with me? I just sent him off. I wondered why I did that? I contemplated calling him, but I wasn’t up to much passed sitting still.
The bbq was at Mike’s place. All the old crew were there. I was still whacked from the night before. My sunglasses were on. Still, it was a lovely day, sun shining, and sun shine is so often the best medicine. Sunshine and fresh air.
I walked in with sunglasses and those cigarettes in my hand.
“I wear my sunglasses at night,” said Murray.
“What have you been doing,” asked Bruno.
“Oh, you know…”
“Because you look terrible,” said Nick.
“Thanks Nick.”
I walked into the group all sitting in a circle in the yard. Gordon entertained everybody with stories about call-boys in Italy.
“He was an angelic young Italian, beautiful face, filth dancing behind his eyes, you could just see it.”
“Beautiful,” said Owen.
“He had a bag with him,” said Gordon. “And he excused himself to change in the bathroom.”
“He said ‘cane’ several times, we didn’t know what it meant,” said Owen. “so we just agreed.”
“He asked us to turn the lights off, then to whistle for him in 5 minutes.”
“We had no idea what was going on,” said Owen.
“Didn’t he speak English?” asked Nick.
“Not really,” said Owen.
“So, we waited 5 minutes and then we whistled,” said Gordon.
“Not a clue,” said Owen.
“Then he came out in a dog suit onsie,” said Gordon. “He rolled over in front of us and wanted us to scratch his tummy.”
“What the fuck,” said Owen.
“So, what did you do?” asked Murray.
“Well,” said Gordon. “He had his onsie unzipped down to here… and he was Italian, after all."
“So, what the hell was going on?” asked Murray.
“Mixed messages,” said Owen. “They got clients mixed up.”
“So, what did you do?” asked Bruno.
“Oh, what do you think,” said Gordon. “That boy would have looked amazing in a garbage bag.” Gordon roared with laughter.
Amy moved chairs and came over and sat next to me. “He idolises you, you know.”
“What?”
“Ben, it’s true. He does.”
“Stop it, you are wicked.”
“I don’t think you realise how easy it will be.”
“Easy?”
“Get him high on something, dim the lights, put on some music, how else do you get all the other guys?”
“Wine and dine him?” I laughed.
Her eyes sparkled. “I’ve kept his beer full since we got here.”
Amy had suggested an open relationship to Ben a few weeks ago, but Ben hadn’t answered her, as such. Amy said he just kind of looked scared. She doesn’t want to break up with him, but, they have been going out for over ten years and Amy is getting ichy feet and a wandering eye.
Ben sauntered over after a while, he’d been talking to Nick. Amy wandered off in Mike’s vicinity.
“Have you been behaving yourself?”
“Sure I have.”
“Don’t you get bored?”
“No, never.”
“I’m not sure how you do it.”
We both laughed.
He drank his stubby.
I drank from mine.
We gazed across the back yard together.
“I think we should be boyfriends,” I said. I cringed inside and told the meth to stop it.
“I’m sorry.”
“I think…” I hesitated, I nearly backed out, this was stupid. Then Amy’s last words came into my head. “We should do it… have a nice time.”
Ben and I met first week of uni. He was so pretty and blond with bright blue eyes. He was quiet and scared and I was scared too, but I just wasn’t showing it like him. He was more scared and quiet and I just kind of took his hand. We both did law, so we just naturally drifted together. There was a feeling of BFF right from the beginning with Ben. We studied together, I help him, we’ve been buddies since then. He met Amy and the three of us studied together.
“Really? Where has this come from?”
“You and me?”
“Ha.” He raised his eyebrows in a tell-tale sign that he was thinking about it.
“I think the time is right.”
Ben’s face froze. Then he laughed out loud, expecting me to follow suit. I didn’t. His face went blank again. “Are you serious?”
“Yep. We’ve been there…”
“Hardly… not so much that I remember.”
“I’m hurt.”
Ben came out of his shell, pretty quickly in that first year of uni. He says it was because I tuned him on to mary-jane. I saw him drink a mountain of booze. Either way, his personality was well lubed up. He was good looking and smart and sporty and then he bloomed into funny and confident, what was there not to like? We have fooled around before, drunkenly, out of it on something, sure, late one Sunday morning in a uni house in Preston. But we’d never had sex sober and in the cold light of day.
There had been a couple of moments since, but always slurring and semi unconscious, and hurriedly.
“I think we should have an affair? You and me.”
“You and me?”
“Yes.
Of course, it is about loving Ben’s cock, and having it turn him on. It’s about teaching him to do the same thing. It’s about kissing him, and having being kissed turning him on. It’s about him being there front and centre, all of him, fully committed, that was the attitude I was giving him. Oh, to feel him cum all over me, as I kissed him passionately. Yep, that’s what I am talking about.
We drank more beer. We gazed out over the guests in the garden. The sun shone brightly.
“An affair like…” He winced, closed one eye and tilted it in the direction of the closed eye. “… an affair?” He smiled questioningly. “Like in hotel rooms… in… hotel… beds?”
“You and me.”
He looked around, as if checking to see if anyone else could hear. “Sex?”
“You… and me.”
“Cocks?”
I laughed, the tension was palpable. “If you want me to stop, getting me to think about your cock is the least likely to work.” I laughed again. “Just thought I’d tell you.”
“What?”
“You have a beautiful cock.”
Ben laughed nervously.
“I want to feel it with you, Ben. “He looked at me. “I think we’ve always had it, but denied it.”
Denied it?”
I smiled, automatically, at the thought. “You are pretty sexy, you know.”
He could see that I was serious, I could see it in his face.
He was still.
“Fuck you,” Ben mumbled in my direction. He looked at me as if I had made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. I dropped my gaze deliberately to his cock, and gazed at it. I was imagining it lying sideways in his jocks, but, I could see it and I didn’t have to imagine anything. His cock was hard. When I raised my eyes back up to meet his, he was blushing furiously. He turned, as if to turn his back on me, but he didn’t quite turn far enough and he just manage to stop in the right position, sideways, to show me his cock was hard. He shifted his hand over it, when he realised his mistake. He turned back and shook his head, still with his hand hovering over his cock.
He opened his mouth a couple of times, but said nothing. “I’m going to find Amy.”
I didn’t see much of him for the rest of the afternoon, he stuck by Amy. A couple of times I caught him staring across the yard after me, staring intently, not even breaking off particularly, when our eyes met.
They left early’ish.
I suddenly got tired and left not all that long after them.
I remember seeing the time at 10am, thinking I’d have to be going now. Then I saw the clock again at 15.30.
We got up around 5pm. I had to go to a BBQ, so Matthew had to go. He tried to talk me into cancelling, but I just could. It had been planned for ages, all of my crew were going to be there.
I looked at the car and contemplated it momentarily. Not 20 anymore, I thought.
I picked up my sunglasses, which was amazing that I found them, because I never normally can. I picked up the packet of cigarettes in the kitchen, I guessed they were Daniel's, which didn't ring true, but they weren't mine. I thought I'd need them,
I caught a taxi.
As the car got going, I didn’t know why I didn’t take Matthew with me? I just sent him off. I wondered why I did that? I contemplated calling him, but I wasn’t up to much passed sitting still.
The bbq was at Mike’s place. All the old crew were there. I was still whacked from the night before. My sunglasses were on. Still, it was a lovely day, sun shining, and sun shine is so often the best medicine. Sunshine and fresh air.
I walked in with sunglasses and those cigarettes in my hand.
“I wear my sunglasses at night,” said Murray.
“What have you been doing,” asked Bruno.
“Oh, you know…”
“Because you look terrible,” said Nick.
“Thanks Nick.”
I walked into the group all sitting in a circle in the yard. Gordon entertained everybody with stories about call-boys in Italy.
“He was an angelic young Italian, beautiful face, filth dancing behind his eyes, you could just see it.”
“Beautiful,” said Owen.
“He had a bag with him,” said Gordon. “And he excused himself to change in the bathroom.”
“He said ‘cane’ several times, we didn’t know what it meant,” said Owen. “so we just agreed.”
“He asked us to turn the lights off, then to whistle for him in 5 minutes.”
“We had no idea what was going on,” said Owen.
“Didn’t he speak English?” asked Nick.
“Not really,” said Owen.
“So, we waited 5 minutes and then we whistled,” said Gordon.
“Not a clue,” said Owen.
“Then he came out in a dog suit onsie,” said Gordon. “He rolled over in front of us and wanted us to scratch his tummy.”
“What the fuck,” said Owen.
“So, what did you do?” asked Murray.
“Well,” said Gordon. “He had his onsie unzipped down to here… and he was Italian, after all."
“So, what the hell was going on?” asked Murray.
“Mixed messages,” said Owen. “They got clients mixed up.”
“So, what did you do?” asked Bruno.
“Oh, what do you think,” said Gordon. “That boy would have looked amazing in a garbage bag.” Gordon roared with laughter.
Amy moved chairs and came over and sat next to me. “He idolises you, you know.”
“What?”
“Ben, it’s true. He does.”
“Stop it, you are wicked.”
“I don’t think you realise how easy it will be.”
“Easy?”
“Get him high on something, dim the lights, put on some music, how else do you get all the other guys?”
“Wine and dine him?” I laughed.
Her eyes sparkled. “I’ve kept his beer full since we got here.”
Amy had suggested an open relationship to Ben a few weeks ago, but Ben hadn’t answered her, as such. Amy said he just kind of looked scared. She doesn’t want to break up with him, but, they have been going out for over ten years and Amy is getting ichy feet and a wandering eye.
Ben sauntered over after a while, he’d been talking to Nick. Amy wandered off in Mike’s vicinity.
“Have you been behaving yourself?”
“Sure I have.”
“Don’t you get bored?”
“No, never.”
“I’m not sure how you do it.”
We both laughed.
He drank his stubby.
I drank from mine.
We gazed across the back yard together.
“I think we should be boyfriends,” I said. I cringed inside and told the meth to stop it.
“I’m sorry.”
“I think…” I hesitated, I nearly backed out, this was stupid. Then Amy’s last words came into my head. “We should do it… have a nice time.”
Ben and I met first week of uni. He was so pretty and blond with bright blue eyes. He was quiet and scared and I was scared too, but I just wasn’t showing it like him. He was more scared and quiet and I just kind of took his hand. We both did law, so we just naturally drifted together. There was a feeling of BFF right from the beginning with Ben. We studied together, I help him, we’ve been buddies since then. He met Amy and the three of us studied together.
“Really? Where has this come from?”
“You and me?”
“Ha.” He raised his eyebrows in a tell-tale sign that he was thinking about it.
“I think the time is right.”
Ben’s face froze. Then he laughed out loud, expecting me to follow suit. I didn’t. His face went blank again. “Are you serious?”
“Yep. We’ve been there…”
“Hardly… not so much that I remember.”
“I’m hurt.”
Ben came out of his shell, pretty quickly in that first year of uni. He says it was because I tuned him on to mary-jane. I saw him drink a mountain of booze. Either way, his personality was well lubed up. He was good looking and smart and sporty and then he bloomed into funny and confident, what was there not to like? We have fooled around before, drunkenly, out of it on something, sure, late one Sunday morning in a uni house in Preston. But we’d never had sex sober and in the cold light of day.
There had been a couple of moments since, but always slurring and semi unconscious, and hurriedly.
“I think we should have an affair? You and me.”
“You and me?”
“Yes.
Of course, it is about loving Ben’s cock, and having it turn him on. It’s about teaching him to do the same thing. It’s about kissing him, and having being kissed turning him on. It’s about him being there front and centre, all of him, fully committed, that was the attitude I was giving him. Oh, to feel him cum all over me, as I kissed him passionately. Yep, that’s what I am talking about.
We drank more beer. We gazed out over the guests in the garden. The sun shone brightly.
“An affair like…” He winced, closed one eye and tilted it in the direction of the closed eye. “… an affair?” He smiled questioningly. “Like in hotel rooms… in… hotel… beds?”
“You and me.”
He looked around, as if checking to see if anyone else could hear. “Sex?”
“You… and me.”
“Cocks?”
I laughed, the tension was palpable. “If you want me to stop, getting me to think about your cock is the least likely to work.” I laughed again. “Just thought I’d tell you.”
“What?”
“You have a beautiful cock.”
Ben laughed nervously.
“I want to feel it with you, Ben. “He looked at me. “I think we’ve always had it, but denied it.”
Denied it?”
I smiled, automatically, at the thought. “You are pretty sexy, you know.”
He could see that I was serious, I could see it in his face.
He was still.
“Fuck you,” Ben mumbled in my direction. He looked at me as if I had made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. I dropped my gaze deliberately to his cock, and gazed at it. I was imagining it lying sideways in his jocks, but, I could see it and I didn’t have to imagine anything. His cock was hard. When I raised my eyes back up to meet his, he was blushing furiously. He turned, as if to turn his back on me, but he didn’t quite turn far enough and he just manage to stop in the right position, sideways, to show me his cock was hard. He shifted his hand over it, when he realised his mistake. He turned back and shook his head, still with his hand hovering over his cock.
He opened his mouth a couple of times, but said nothing. “I’m going to find Amy.”
I didn’t see much of him for the rest of the afternoon, he stuck by Amy. A couple of times I caught him staring across the yard after me, staring intently, not even breaking off particularly, when our eyes met.
They left early’ish.
I suddenly got tired and left not all that long after them.
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