Rain

Didn't it fucking rain over the weekend? Down it come down, or what? If Jesus had floated by nailed to a cross on the bow of the ark, I, well, me and all the Jesus Freaks, wouldn't have been surprised. (I may have been a little taken back, if the truth be known) Never be ashamed of telling people you are an atheist.

As me old granny used to say, always live on the top of a hill. (That way you can watch you property prices increase as you become closer and closer to a sea view. Global warming has it’s advantages. Ha ha.)

I told my young nephew that god's wife was taking a squat.

“Mary! Is that Mary?”

“Well, no, she was just a receptacle for god's spoof on earth,” I said. “She was never his wife.”

“Whose god's wife then,” Matthew asked?

It all seemed so ridiculous and all too hard by that stage, as his innocent eyes gazed up at me. Who indeed?

“Don't fill his head full of that nonsense,” said Amanda, as she arranged tulips in the vase on the dinning room table.

"It's all just stories, Matty Moo," I said, as I tousled his hair. "None of it is true."

"You mean God didn't have a wife..."

"There is no god, kid, it is just something the people made up to help them understand the world better," I said.

Jesus Christ, how many years ago was that? Look at Matthew now, all grown up and a spoof receptacle all of his own.