Nearly 2019
“Nearly another year down, they go so quick. 2019. The turn of the century is nearly 20 years ago. Idiots are in charge of the world, we're all in for a bumpy climate change ride... to the end?”
“Oh, please don't say that,” said Nick.
“The science is in.”
“The science could be wrong,” said Nick.
“Yes, the science could be wrong,”
“It would be better if it is wrong,” said Nick.
I stood for a minute and thought about what we'd just said. “Are we saying now that our best bet is if the science could be wrong.”
“They are better odds? You know, when you think about it.”
“95% of climate scientists agree, I am not following your odds.”
Nick shrugged.
“It’s not too late,” I say. “We still have time to save the human race.”
“Time, smime, it is very inconvenient. I have to find a husband.”
Some scientists say if we mass plant trees we could delay the worst of it by years.”
“Surely, if it were that easy we’d have done it all ready?”
“Why does finding a husband clash with climate scientist,” I say. This will be interesting, I think.
“Well, I have to put all my effort into finding a man,” said Nick. “I don’t have time for anything else.”
“You know we are still clearing land of trees, not planting them,” I say. “So, no, even if it were that easy we are not doing it.”
“Why are we cutting down the trees still?”
“To grind them up to make chipboard.”
“Oh, that can’t be true.”
“It is,” I say. “Companies are buying all the trees on poor islands cheap, because the inhabitants are poor, to make you more Ikea furniture.”
“That reminds me, Ikea has those book shelves that I need a couple more of…”
“But that is the problem,” I say. “You are aiding and abetting the destruction of the world’s forests.”
“I’ve got to put my books somewhere,” says Nick. “I can’t be expected to have piles of books on the floor.”
“I can’t believe you,” I say.
“It’s okay for you, you have a hot husband.”
“What?”
“Well, what is any sort of decent trade going to think if I take him home and I have piles of books all over the place?”
“He’ll think you are well read.”
“This is why this climate nonsense…”
“It is not nonsense.”
“Is getting in the way of my love life.”
“I despair.”
“Oh, please don't say that,” said Nick.
“The science is in.”
“The science could be wrong,” said Nick.
“Yes, the science could be wrong,”
“It would be better if it is wrong,” said Nick.
I stood for a minute and thought about what we'd just said. “Are we saying now that our best bet is if the science could be wrong.”
“They are better odds? You know, when you think about it.”
“95% of climate scientists agree, I am not following your odds.”
Nick shrugged.
“It’s not too late,” I say. “We still have time to save the human race.”
“Time, smime, it is very inconvenient. I have to find a husband.”
Some scientists say if we mass plant trees we could delay the worst of it by years.”
“Surely, if it were that easy we’d have done it all ready?”
“Why does finding a husband clash with climate scientist,” I say. This will be interesting, I think.
“Well, I have to put all my effort into finding a man,” said Nick. “I don’t have time for anything else.”
“You know we are still clearing land of trees, not planting them,” I say. “So, no, even if it were that easy we are not doing it.”
“Why are we cutting down the trees still?”
“To grind them up to make chipboard.”
“Oh, that can’t be true.”
“It is,” I say. “Companies are buying all the trees on poor islands cheap, because the inhabitants are poor, to make you more Ikea furniture.”
“That reminds me, Ikea has those book shelves that I need a couple more of…”
“But that is the problem,” I say. “You are aiding and abetting the destruction of the world’s forests.”
“I’ve got to put my books somewhere,” says Nick. “I can’t be expected to have piles of books on the floor.”
“I can’t believe you,” I say.
“It’s okay for you, you have a hot husband.”
“What?”
“Well, what is any sort of decent trade going to think if I take him home and I have piles of books all over the place?”
“He’ll think you are well read.”
“This is why this climate nonsense…”
“It is not nonsense.”
“Is getting in the way of my love life.”
“I despair.”
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