New Job
New year, new boyfriend, new job. Yeah, back to work, at Ben’s law firm, Gertrude’s Lawyers. It was Ben’s idea. I was hesitant. There was a junior’ish role going, they said I was over qualified for it, but they gave it to me any way. Three days per week. And for some reason they wanted a guy, which I didn’t question. They were having trouble getting a guy to do three days.
The interview was at midday, so at 7am I thought I had plenty of time to sober up from an early joint. 8am, the same story, four hours was plenty long enough to sober up. 9am, I was tonguing for another one. 10am. I had coffee and a joint in the garden, all the time wondering if it was a good idea. 11am I told myself that the shower I was about to have would clear my head anyway.
So, I went to the interview stoned.
I met with the Director of HR, Nick Hanson, the CEO Managing Partner, Rolland Rollo, and who would be my partner, Gabriel Knight.
“I don’t have any career aspirations,” I heard myself saying to the board of interviewers. “I just want a job that gets me out of the house in the mornings.”
They coughed and spluttered, and I am sure I caught the look of admiration on at least one of their faces.
“And we…er… um… support our employees who have such career ambitions,” one of them managed to say.
“I’m really smart, I am really good at what I do, I work hard while I am at work, and I will bill as many hours as your other gun lawyers.”
A breath of fresh air, I have so often been told that I am, I was hoping it wouldn’t let me down now. Funny how beforehand I was kind of ambivalent about the role, but once I am in there actually interviewing for it my competitive side comes to the fore.
The director of HR, Nick, is really handsome, and he looks a bit like he could be Ben’s dad, and I’ve always had father son fantasies. Brother fantasies. Not with my father, or my brother, you understand those fantasies don’t work that way. It is a fantasy about the forbidden, that is so hot. I could picture Nick with Ben, I’m sure I was flirting a little with Nick because of it.
“Well, you have a great resume, what there is of it,” said Nick.
“I like to travel,” I offered up. Smiling at Nick.
“Yes, very good,” said Gabriel Knight. “When you have worked.”
“Well, I’ve always been fascinated in creative writing, as well,” I said. “So, I have taken some time off to study it and to pursue it.”
“So, you’d be interested in doing some writing for the firm,” said Rolland Rollo.
“Yeah, sure,” I said. “I’m more of a fiction writer, but the skills translate pretty much.”
“Have you had anything published?” asked Rollo.
“Yes, a few short stories, here and there. And I’ve done okay in some competitions too.”
“Well, I can’t help but be impressed with that,” said Rolland.
I knew at that point the job was mine.
“And Ben Harper is your, um…” Gabrielle attempted.
“Boyfriend,” I said.
“Ben Harper?” questioned Rolland.
“Taxation,” said Gabrielle.
“Yes, Ben, I know,” said Rolland. “You and he?”
“Yes sir,” I said. Perhaps, I say ‘sir’ more than I realise. “Ben is my partner in life.” Jesus fuck, where did that cliché come from? Don’t let it throw you, don’t let it throw you.
“Oh, well, Ben Harper. We’ll have to get you into Jack’s group,” said Rolland.
“One of our Senior Associates runs our LGBT group,’ said Nick. “Enterprise.”
“Sounds good,” I said.
“Do you have any other skills you would like us to know about?” asked Gabrielle.
“Oh, um, I play the piano and speak Italian badly.”
“Doesn’t everyone speak Italian badly,” said Nick.
Everyone laughed.
“Impressive,” said Gabrielle.
“Okay then,” said Rolland. He simultaneously looked at his watch and rose from his chair. “I’ve got lunch with the Premier. Nice to meet you, Josh. Josh, or Joshua?”
“It’s Joshua, but everybody calls me Josh.”
He held out his hand. “Welcome aboard, Josh.” We shook hands. “Now, if you will excuse me, I have to run.”
He left the room.
Nick and Gabriel looked at each other, then looked back at me.
“Well, he just gave you the job, welcome aboard,” said Nick. We shook hands. I held Nick’s hand for a split second too long as I thought how my tongue would feel inside his mouth. Then I realised, those morning joints were clearly still working, and I let go immediately, he didn’t seem to notice.
“Welcome aboard,’ said Gabrielle Knight. And we shook hands.
The interview was at midday, so at 7am I thought I had plenty of time to sober up from an early joint. 8am, the same story, four hours was plenty long enough to sober up. 9am, I was tonguing for another one. 10am. I had coffee and a joint in the garden, all the time wondering if it was a good idea. 11am I told myself that the shower I was about to have would clear my head anyway.
So, I went to the interview stoned.
I met with the Director of HR, Nick Hanson, the CEO Managing Partner, Rolland Rollo, and who would be my partner, Gabriel Knight.
“I don’t have any career aspirations,” I heard myself saying to the board of interviewers. “I just want a job that gets me out of the house in the mornings.”
They coughed and spluttered, and I am sure I caught the look of admiration on at least one of their faces.
“And we…er… um… support our employees who have such career ambitions,” one of them managed to say.
“I’m really smart, I am really good at what I do, I work hard while I am at work, and I will bill as many hours as your other gun lawyers.”
A breath of fresh air, I have so often been told that I am, I was hoping it wouldn’t let me down now. Funny how beforehand I was kind of ambivalent about the role, but once I am in there actually interviewing for it my competitive side comes to the fore.
The director of HR, Nick, is really handsome, and he looks a bit like he could be Ben’s dad, and I’ve always had father son fantasies. Brother fantasies. Not with my father, or my brother, you understand those fantasies don’t work that way. It is a fantasy about the forbidden, that is so hot. I could picture Nick with Ben, I’m sure I was flirting a little with Nick because of it.
“Well, you have a great resume, what there is of it,” said Nick.
“I like to travel,” I offered up. Smiling at Nick.
“Yes, very good,” said Gabriel Knight. “When you have worked.”
“Well, I’ve always been fascinated in creative writing, as well,” I said. “So, I have taken some time off to study it and to pursue it.”
“So, you’d be interested in doing some writing for the firm,” said Rolland Rollo.
“Yeah, sure,” I said. “I’m more of a fiction writer, but the skills translate pretty much.”
“Have you had anything published?” asked Rollo.
“Yes, a few short stories, here and there. And I’ve done okay in some competitions too.”
“Well, I can’t help but be impressed with that,” said Rolland.
I knew at that point the job was mine.
“And Ben Harper is your, um…” Gabrielle attempted.
“Boyfriend,” I said.
“Ben Harper?” questioned Rolland.
“Taxation,” said Gabrielle.
“Yes, Ben, I know,” said Rolland. “You and he?”
“Yes sir,” I said. Perhaps, I say ‘sir’ more than I realise. “Ben is my partner in life.” Jesus fuck, where did that cliché come from? Don’t let it throw you, don’t let it throw you.
“Oh, well, Ben Harper. We’ll have to get you into Jack’s group,” said Rolland.
“One of our Senior Associates runs our LGBT group,’ said Nick. “Enterprise.”
“Sounds good,” I said.
“Do you have any other skills you would like us to know about?” asked Gabrielle.
“Oh, um, I play the piano and speak Italian badly.”
“Doesn’t everyone speak Italian badly,” said Nick.
Everyone laughed.
“Impressive,” said Gabrielle.
“Okay then,” said Rolland. He simultaneously looked at his watch and rose from his chair. “I’ve got lunch with the Premier. Nice to meet you, Josh. Josh, or Joshua?”
“It’s Joshua, but everybody calls me Josh.”
He held out his hand. “Welcome aboard, Josh.” We shook hands. “Now, if you will excuse me, I have to run.”
He left the room.
Nick and Gabriel looked at each other, then looked back at me.
“Well, he just gave you the job, welcome aboard,” said Nick. We shook hands. I held Nick’s hand for a split second too long as I thought how my tongue would feel inside his mouth. Then I realised, those morning joints were clearly still working, and I let go immediately, he didn’t seem to notice.
“Welcome aboard,’ said Gabrielle Knight. And we shook hands.
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