Amy’s Baby

Amy found out she was pregnant.

“I thought she was a lesbian?” I said.

“Me too,” said Ben. 

The thing is, she’d had sex with three guys. She had unprotected sex with three guys while she knew she was off the pill. What is that, I asked? She goes off the pill, and she still has sex with guys? 

It was really only two guys, she thought, as she didn’t fuck Ben at the time to make a baby. “That was just to say good bye,” she told Ben.

It turned out to be a genuine Mama Mia moment, though.

Apparently, it was deliberate. She and her girlfriend wanted a baby. Amy wanted a baby. She told Ben it was her last hurrah of her heterosexuality.

Apparently, it was just for old time sake with Ben, the day before they split up. She’d gone off the pill, but she didn’t think she could get pregnant that quickly.

It was only two guys that were deliberate, in her mind. It was her personal trainer, Shane. And it was her next door neighbour after an afternoon of sunbaking.

The two guys had to be tested, which they weren’t keen to do, but eventually they did and it wasn’t either of them. So, then she had to call Ben and it turned out to be Ben.

Amy said she was pleased about it being Ben. “We’d talked about it,” she said.

Ben said he didn’t know what to say.

“How do you feel?” I asked him, sometime after the event.

“To be really truthful, I’m not sure I really feel anything.”

“Nothing?” I questioned.

“Well, it is not something I ever ask for,” he said. “It was nothing about which I really had any feelings.”

“You never wanted to be a dad?”

“Well, only theoretically, really,” he said. “It was nothing I ever really felt about being a reality.”

“What if Amy wanted financial support?”

“Well, I earn a lot of money,” he said. “I could afford to, easy.”

“Are you going to offer?”

“No,” he said. “It was Amy who wanted the baby, not me. She can pay for her own baby.”

“You don’t feel that it is yours?”

“Yes, and no,” he said. “Not really. I guess. Yes. And if she asked, or more to the point, if she insisted, then I would. But she’d have to ask.”

“We’ll see, I guess.”

“I’m guessing that I’ll feel differently, feel something when the kid is born.”

“Yes, I guess you will.”

“We can dress him up in gay outfits…”

“Him?”

“Sure, why not,” said Ben. “Don’t all guys want a boy. Isn’t that how it goes.”

“Dress him up like a living, breathing Ken doll.”

“Yep,” said Ben. “Instead of just buying coats for the dog.”