Group Meeting
It was the end of our Webex practise group meeting. Ralph Reiner, love a chat, our group leader, had already gone over by half an hour.
We had been having meetings every day, but now we are having them Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
"Anyone got any questions," asked Ralph.
Nobody had any questions, we'd been chatting for nearly an hour by this stage. We had discussed the ins and outs of every duck’s bum we had to discuss. Enough.
"Anyone got any stories?" asked Ralph.
No-one had any stories. We all wanted to log off.
"Anyone got anything funny they'd like to share?" asked Ralph.
No one did.
"So, anything else?" asked Ralph.
"Oh, Ralph, are all the plants dead by now?" asked Sharon Reddy.
"No, no, I have been walking around watering all the plants, Sharon," said Ralph.
"I was going to ask the same question," I interrupted. It’s true, I had, but I wondered if it was lame? Stupid really.
"Yes, your plants, Josh, the one like I have at the front of my garden is taking over your desk..."
"The spider plant..."
"You'll need to bring in a scythe to get to your desk by the time you come back."
"Oh, thank you," said Sharon.
"Sharon, you have a fern in your office that has no room to even put water in..."
"Oh yes, I need to repot it," said Sharon. "Just as long as my Fiddle Leaf fig is still alive..."
"Yes, yes, all alive," said Ralph. “I’ve watered Carl’s and Max’s too, all alive.”
“And mine?” asked Deanne.
“Yes, of course, Deanne,” said Ralph.
Ralph was the only one in the office. Our practise group leader, who earns a good deal over a million a year was walking from office to office watering all of our plants.
"And how are you watering them?" I asked.
"If you think I have on a pinnie and a watering can with a spout like a swan’s neck, you'd be wrong young Josh," said Ralph. "The whole world isn't gay, you know."
"You'd be surprised," I said.
Ralph laughed. "If you think anything surprises me now a days, you'd be mistaken," said Ralph. "The truth is I strip down to my jocks and I play high opera very loud as I wander from office to office with my Lalique crystal jug, Josh. Does that surprise you?"
I wanted to say that it turned me on just a little, as I am sure that would surprise him, but I know how far I can take things. "It does," I said.
Carl groaned. It won't do Carl any good getting all anti gay, if he knows what is good for him. Ralph is all for equal rights for everyone.
“Are we done?” asked Carl. It turned out that Carl Klonk was in the office too, not sure why. Maybe, it is because he has no friends and work is the only thing that sustains him.
"Okay," that's it," said Ralph.
"Okay, good bye," said Sharon. Sharon recently won her battle with breast cancer and is now eating her way back to good health, it would seem, as she is stacking on the weight.
"Bye bye," said Deanne. Mum from the suburbs, never really sure if her Christian beliefs get in the way of us, actually, connecting for real. She claims both are compatible. She told me she wasn’t a bible thumper.
"Good bye," said Carl. He always smells of whiskey and tobacco.
"Ciao," said Max Chan, which I thought was funny. ABC by his own words, handsome and sexy, I wouldn’t have to be asked twice to play hide the sausage with Max.
"See ya," said Felix. Well, yet to actually play hide the sausage with Felix, but I think it is on the cards for Ben, Felix and I. Maybe, that is an activity for lockdown.
Oh, Felicity from HR would get involved, in her twin set. “You took advantage of the young.”
“What else are they here for, Felicity, I ask you?”
"Speak soon," I said. And I am your cruise director. Ha ha.
"Right oh," said Campbell. 3rd year lawyer, really handsome, good at what he does, but really full of himself, your cliched private school boy.
"Thanks team," said Ralph, workaholic, chat-aholic, exercise-aholic, energiser bunny, group leader.
And that's our team.
The only person missing was Elizabeth Barry, Precedents lawyer on retirement age, often comes back from a 2 hour lunch half plastered on red wine. Dresses like Mrs Robinson. I don’t know where she was, probably on a liquid lunch.
All a board.
We had been having meetings every day, but now we are having them Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
"Anyone got any questions," asked Ralph.
Nobody had any questions, we'd been chatting for nearly an hour by this stage. We had discussed the ins and outs of every duck’s bum we had to discuss. Enough.
"Anyone got any stories?" asked Ralph.
No-one had any stories. We all wanted to log off.
"Anyone got anything funny they'd like to share?" asked Ralph.
No one did.
"So, anything else?" asked Ralph.
"Oh, Ralph, are all the plants dead by now?" asked Sharon Reddy.
"No, no, I have been walking around watering all the plants, Sharon," said Ralph.
"I was going to ask the same question," I interrupted. It’s true, I had, but I wondered if it was lame? Stupid really.
"Yes, your plants, Josh, the one like I have at the front of my garden is taking over your desk..."
"The spider plant..."
"You'll need to bring in a scythe to get to your desk by the time you come back."
"Oh, thank you," said Sharon.
"Sharon, you have a fern in your office that has no room to even put water in..."
"Oh yes, I need to repot it," said Sharon. "Just as long as my Fiddle Leaf fig is still alive..."
"Yes, yes, all alive," said Ralph. “I’ve watered Carl’s and Max’s too, all alive.”
“And mine?” asked Deanne.
“Yes, of course, Deanne,” said Ralph.
Ralph was the only one in the office. Our practise group leader, who earns a good deal over a million a year was walking from office to office watering all of our plants.
"And how are you watering them?" I asked.
"If you think I have on a pinnie and a watering can with a spout like a swan’s neck, you'd be wrong young Josh," said Ralph. "The whole world isn't gay, you know."
"You'd be surprised," I said.
Ralph laughed. "If you think anything surprises me now a days, you'd be mistaken," said Ralph. "The truth is I strip down to my jocks and I play high opera very loud as I wander from office to office with my Lalique crystal jug, Josh. Does that surprise you?"
I wanted to say that it turned me on just a little, as I am sure that would surprise him, but I know how far I can take things. "It does," I said.
Carl groaned. It won't do Carl any good getting all anti gay, if he knows what is good for him. Ralph is all for equal rights for everyone.
“Are we done?” asked Carl. It turned out that Carl Klonk was in the office too, not sure why. Maybe, it is because he has no friends and work is the only thing that sustains him.
"Okay," that's it," said Ralph.
"Okay, good bye," said Sharon. Sharon recently won her battle with breast cancer and is now eating her way back to good health, it would seem, as she is stacking on the weight.
"Bye bye," said Deanne. Mum from the suburbs, never really sure if her Christian beliefs get in the way of us, actually, connecting for real. She claims both are compatible. She told me she wasn’t a bible thumper.
"Good bye," said Carl. He always smells of whiskey and tobacco.
"Ciao," said Max Chan, which I thought was funny. ABC by his own words, handsome and sexy, I wouldn’t have to be asked twice to play hide the sausage with Max.
"See ya," said Felix. Well, yet to actually play hide the sausage with Felix, but I think it is on the cards for Ben, Felix and I. Maybe, that is an activity for lockdown.
Oh, Felicity from HR would get involved, in her twin set. “You took advantage of the young.”
“What else are they here for, Felicity, I ask you?”
"Speak soon," I said. And I am your cruise director. Ha ha.
"Right oh," said Campbell. 3rd year lawyer, really handsome, good at what he does, but really full of himself, your cliched private school boy.
"Thanks team," said Ralph, workaholic, chat-aholic, exercise-aholic, energiser bunny, group leader.
And that's our team.
The only person missing was Elizabeth Barry, Precedents lawyer on retirement age, often comes back from a 2 hour lunch half plastered on red wine. Dresses like Mrs Robinson. I don’t know where she was, probably on a liquid lunch.
All a board.
I'm going with small print.
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