Coda Josh Grant

The light was seeping into the room from behind the curtains. I was so comfortable that I didn't want to move... at all. Eyes open, everything else still asleep. It was a lazy morning and I didn't feel like getting up and, of course, going to work. I looked over at Matt's head on the pillow, reached over and tousled his hair. He groaned and pushed his arse against me and said, "Fuck me before I have to get up and go." He got a handful of lube from the pump pack beside the bed and rubbed it across his furry crack. "Please." So, I slid my morning boner into him. God, he's got a nice, tight little arse. He fucked himself on my morning hardon, back and back and back until he was fully engorged, I practically didn't have to do anything. He's an enthusiastic boy. Just as he started to whimper with delight, I rolled him onto his stomach and fucked him hard. I love the feeling of his tight ring around my shaft as I slide it in and out of him. He lay ...

Why does it keep going out? I think as I suck and it is dead. Half the time I'm sucking away at nothing. The lighting is interminable, just painful. Fuck me, what's going on with this? This self extinguishing tobacco plays havoc for pot smokers. I finally staggered out the door. I went and had lunch with my dealer, Jumbo. He laughed when I mentioned about the self extinguishing smokes. "That's life babe, everything good is self extinguishing." I laughed. "There's a few people I'd like to see self extinguish, I bet you do to?" "Just the pollies..." "And the fucken do-gooders." "The Christians..." "The busy bodies who don't have anything else to do with their lives." "Perhaps, we could put them all in a boat and ship them off shore." "It would have to be a big boat." "The Ark." "Huh." Jumbo lifted his wine glass. "Here's to a bloody big boat..." ...

I was out weeding my cacti. The pots were beginning to be over grown with weeds. It only seems like yesterday that I’d weeded them, but there you go. I used to hate them, thought they were the dopy man’s plant, but I seemed to have acquire a few and my opinion hasn’t changed. Now, you have to be careful weeding the buggars, as some of them are covered in spikey little thorns. (I thought I’d slipped the last of them, guilt free, into the bin on bin nights. I thought they’d all been dealt with. I’d just about finished when I grabbed one of the cactus, and not the weeds, and I got spiked. So, I decided I was done for the day. I came inside and made a coffee and rolled a joint and was watching the morning news, when Mark Ferguson came on. I used to have the hots for him something chronic, so I got the lube and proceeded to wank to him reading the news. Unfortunately for me, I must have still had some spike left in my hand from the cactus… and now they are in my cock. Youch!

I headed to the gym, 6am. It is twice as easy, if you get it done in the morning. And I get up early, anyway. I should have gone yesterday. Up early, breakfast then out the door, before I have a chance to piss around, get going, don’t sit back on my lazy fat arse. Next thing I’m in the office showering,” I said. “If I am lucky, I get to shower with Marco…” “Marco?” questions Matt. “D’Souza,” I said. “D’Souza? questions Matt. “You met him when we went out for dinner the other night.” “James Bond?” “With the other guy.” “Yes, I remember him.” “He rides in, in the mornings,” I said. “Sometimes I get to see his naked arse in the showers, in the morning, before work.” “More than his naked arse, I bet.” “Sometimes, much more.” “What is that supposed to mean?” “I some times get to see the full show, yes I do. Call HR.”

Lachlan has great legs. Online viewers get off on his legs. Then there are the foot fetishist. Lachlan doesn't mind them, as they are easy. He loses a lot of pairs of socks and jocks. He doesn't really understand the guys who want the dirty ones, but he does oblige them.

What a beautiful day, I lay in the park and enjoyed the flora. A little joint, a book and my laptop, which I didn't switch on. The blades of grass felt cool on my skin, tickling my neck and my ears. The lawn was a soft blanket under my back. Chubby kept me warm. He’s like a hot water bottle. Fit lads in shorts jogged by all afternoon, speaking of hot water bottles. There was the guy in black, baggy shorts who came and did sit ups and push ups just next to me. Those baggy shorts were a treat, I could see right up his hairy legs to his white jocks, nice. He might as well have not been wearing those shorts at all. What a sight? The sun shone.

My buddy and I spent the day in his garden, on his terrace. The sun shone down, the sky was blue. The leaves were just starting to turn, autumnal colours waving in the breeze, orange and yellow and brown. He spent two years in hospital/rehab for drugs and the mental side effects that they can cause. He's changed, but he is the same. I guess, he might say that about me, in all reality. Mostly he seems like his old self and it's nice to have my friend back. He drank white wine and I smoked pot. We talked the whole afternoon. We were plastered by the end, each on our own poison. He’s got a great place. He’s got a great career, if he can keep this contained, which so far he has managed to do. He took long service leave, you can after 7 years. He went to Canada. After, Open Shores. New beginnings, the world is your oyster. Rehab for those who can afford to pay for it, and who have a clear pathway out. He did all of those winter sports he loves, and so rarely gets to do. He and his w...

I took my car into be looked at, it's got a starting problem. I guess it's because I don't drive it much? And I wanted some new mods on mine, Daniel was getting new mods on his, and his is already a model newer than mine. A new battery cost me $180? That seemed a little steep, I thought. I had it there at 7am. Then I worked all morning. Then I went out for lunch. My afternoon was free. Don’t give me too many free afternoons because I tell you I’ll like it. I can very easily slip into that lifestyle, only be in the office when I am needed to be in the office. It’s a juggle getting enough face to face, it is hard to get the mix exactly right, and keep your job at the same time.

Matt's head is full of ideas he wants to try. He keeps coming up with them. We headed out to a cafe in Lygon Street for a late breakfast. "I want to do father son fantasies with you," says Matt. We're at a cafe waiting to order, he just came out with it, as I sip my coffee. I kind of coughed, mid sip. "Father... son?" "Yes dad, I've been a bad boy." he looks at me with big, innocent eyes. "A very bad boy." I remembered the time when it was me who it was assumed would play the son, my how time flies. First time it had been suggested that I play the dad, interesting. I would have been fifteen when I had you, I think. I guess. "So, did you fancy your father as you were growing up?" "No, never,” said Matthew. “But I like the idea if you are my father." I wasn't sure if I was turned on, or turned off. "Are you ready to order?" asks the clearly bored waiter. "Yeah, I think," I say. I look over at ...

I gave up smoking, it was a struggle this time. I dithered and dallied, but now it is done. You just have to keep quitting. If you start again, oh well, ces les vie, just concentrate on quitting again. Don’t waste your energy on the starting, focus wholly on the quitting. Don’t Quit Quitting. Joints are still the problem. Joints without tobacco don’t burn properly, they don’t taste good either.

My mum called early, I was still nursing a morning hard on. Nothing like the sound of your mother’s voice on the other end of the phone to deflate your manhood. “Darling, darling, I’ve only just got a minute, are you awake?” “Yep.” I wasn’t. “You don’t sound very awake?” “I am.” What day is it? “Could you try to be a little more convincing?” “Ah... no.” Why did I pick up the bloody phone? “But...” I wasn’t at all sure if I was actually going to get the sentence finished. “I am awake.” “Are you sure?” “Muuuuummm.” I could hear 5 year old Josh speaking through me, it was a little disconcerting. “Well, it seems because Malcolm and Tabitha were killed together, their wills, apparently, get some what messy.” “Really? How.” “Well, it now all depends on who died first?” “First?” Didn’t they go splat together? “By all accounts, Tabitha was still alive and somewhat coherent, whatever that means, darling, heaven knows, it doesn’t bare thinking about... um... er... when the rescuers got there.” “...

Matthew stayed. We just pissed around all day, eating mainly. Late in the night, we watched a dvd marathon and smoked pot until we could barely stand up. In the morning, Matt, apparently, heard Daniel in the shower, so he headed in there with the excuse of needing to have a piss. "Hey, Daniel, it's Matthew, do you mind if I use the toilet, I'm busting." Daniel wouldn't have cared, he's never been worried about nudity, none of us have. Our parents were really laid back with all of that stuff. Matthew, of course, knows that we have a clear shower screen. So, of course, being the bright, intelligent, out going kind of guy that he is, he starts up a conversation with Daniel. Daniel finished his shower and asked Matt to pass the towel. Then, apparently, he got out and dried himself in front of Matt. Matt told me later how turned on he was and how he was concerned about cracking a fat as he was only wearing jocks. "He's got the same cock as you." ...

Matthew passes the joint back to me. He smiles and his eyes glisten. He’s the cutest pup of a boy could I’ve ever have. Bright eyed and bushy tailed. Funny. Weekends seem fun again. “I’m horny,” says Matthew. I wrap my arms around him. Kiss him. We are standing in the lounge room tongue on tongue, my hands are down the back of his jeans, when the front door opens and closes. We both turn our heads towards the hallway and gaze frozen for a moment. Frozen... with hardons. I’m sure we look guilty. I’m sure we are looking dishevelled. We stared as soon as we got home. I could even see the cloud of smoke in the air. Daniel appears, he’s come home for something he's forgotten. He is taken aback momentarily. "Sorry, sorry," says Daniel. "I'm just dashing in and out, I'll be gone in a minute.” He disappears back up the hallway. “Who’s that?” Matthew asks, “That’s my brother.” “Please tell me he is your gay brother.” I shrug, as if to say bad luc...

Who doesn't like a hairy stomach? Who doesn't like a hairy stomach? I like it. I like that feeling against my naked chest. I like the feeling against my skin. I like the feeling of running my hand through it. I like burying my face in it. 

The guys and gals all like my mate Mike. And while Mike is pretty much a gals kind of guy, he has been known to give the guys what they want on special occasions. "It  doesn't really make so much of a difference, you know, as long as they are warm and enthusiastic," said Mike.

It’s funny, the middle of the month often makes me take stock and think about the future. I dunno why. Maybe it’s some childhood trauma? My life, half still to come. Half over. Maybe it is just a sign of a good education, whatever? I don’t know? There I was over my morning coffee thinking about what lay ahead. Half glass full. What am I going to do? I’d checked over my finances and you know. Not so many luxuries but then I’m not really the luxuries kind of guy. I am always thinking about the future though, it’s a shame we can’t just live in the here and now and let the future be the future. My super account will look pretty sick when I get to require. That’s sick good, not sick bad. Am I being ridiculous? And just as I had that thought, my phone rang. You know, I spend a lot of my time telling anyone who will listen that I don’t believe in such things, and I don’t, however... Amanda was on the phone, it was Aunt Tabitha, she had just croaked it. Apparently, she was limbo dancing in Tr...

I quit smoking... 08th March... because it didn't stick. It is a disgusting habit. Your fingers, your hair, your clothes, your mouth are fowl at the end of a full on day of smoking. You can catch your self just occasionally, for a millisecond, when your breath fails you just for a microsecond and you stop and say honestly to yourself, this is killing me. Then you can stop the next day. I had one of those moments yesterday. It’s a filthy habit, and it cost a fortune now a days to buy them. If I am smoking I never have cash in my wallet nw a days, if I stop smoking, I always have cash in my wallet. The money thing helped me stop, when I see how ridiculous the cost is now.

I started smoking again, damn it! I think I am being so clever not smoking cigarettes, when my pt smoking explodes. I mix my mull with tobacco, it is the tobacco he craves, so he smokes twenty joints instead of twenty cigarettes, and he falls sideways at the end of it, and ends up knocked out for hours. But I keep doing it? And then before I know it I am smoking cigarettes instead of joints, because no on can keep up that sort of carry on and function. So, I cave in and start smoking the mull cigarettes without the green.