Coda Josh Grant

There are houses being renovated in my street, the inner suburbs being the inner suburbs, it is going on all over. Accordingly, there are some nice specimens of beef standing around. All that HiViz and posturing. Slurp. (I can't believe I said that?) There was a young, fresh faced guy, I’d say 20ish, probably just started his apprenticeship, who had on such small pair of blue workman's shorts, that they were tight around the tops of his thighs, hugging his legs. And what thighs he had! Jasus! They fitted his crotch, two handfuls, like a queen had fitted them for him for a dance party. The boy looked like he had a huge waz on him. I couldn’t help but look. He couldn’t help but notice me notice. It didn’t seem to faze him though. 19, 20, you would have to have jerked off this morning, I thought next. Then I was picturing him with those tiny shorts and his still warm jocks around his work boot clad ankles, pounding himself energetically, wanting to get the job done before he left ...

I remember the first singer who got my attention when I was but a wee kid, was Tom Jones. Amanda likes him, he is her pinup boy. Go back and watch early Tom Jones on YouTube. Wow! Amanda used to have a whiskey and watch him on Rage, or something. I’d like to say she cried, hysterically, wantonly, TomeJonesMania, but that is just me being dramatic. She never cried. But more to the point, I used to sit next to her and he’d make me feel kind of funny, something I didn’t really understand. I’d want to cry over his open shirt and his exposed chest, his dancing, his everything. Little baby Joshy with big eyes as Tom Jones sang with his shirt undone. “It’s not unusual to be loved by anyone.” “It’s not unusual to have fun with anyone?” Or he sang in a dinner suit. I’m sure that is why I think men are so sexy in a tux and bow tie. Talk about handsome. And the way he danced? The way he danced. The way he gyrated his hips. The way he moved his body. Little Josh was transfixed, not really knowing...

You know, what with all this blog re-writing that I am doing – I’m now up to June 2011, I’ve re-written 2009 and 2010, the first six months of 2011, now – it gets kind of confusing coming back to current day. Spookily. And sometime when I am slurping down on Ben's big cock, like it is the latest flavour from Messina, I can look up and my life can flash before my very eyes, all the people, all the guys. Steve, James, Matthew, Tim. A succession of beta males. Nothing wrong with beta males. Ben is an alfa male. (I laugh to myself, whatever that means?) It’s trippy. I try to do it, when I look up at him, catch myself off-guard, you know, deliberately, squint an eye, will it be Steve, will it be James, will it be Matthew, will it be Tim, will it be Ben, stupid isn’t it. But sometimes, it works and he turns into the most interesting people, momentarily, in a blink of an eye. Who’d have thought I’d want to suck his cock. “You know, like Gavin Christmas.” Ben laughed “No one would have bee...

Two brothers who live on the other side, with the Labrador called Mary. Gary and Simon. One of them walks Mary each day. Or comes into your yard, yet again, to collect escaping Mary. It was once always the smoking hot brother, Gary, well, you didn’t mind him coming to get his Mary from your back yard, but lately it has been the ugly balding one, Simon. The perpetually grumpy brother. Well he lives with his smoking hot brother, Gary, so he would be reminded every day how he missed out in the looks department, in life, big time. “Is that what you think? said Daniel.” “What?” “Living here with me every day, knowing you are the ugly one.” “You don’t get to walk my bulldog though,” I said, provocatively. “What?” said Daniel. “Oh, euw!” said Daniel wincing, like he had just thought of the most repulsive thing there was. “I would have done you long before you were the last man on earth, babe,” I said. “Let me tell you.” “What?” said Daniel. “Oh, euw!” He was thinking of th...

Butch and Bruno are so funny to watch. They play like bulldogs, rough and tumble all over the house. Then its goes quiet and they give each other head, you can usually see at least one of them with ‘that look’ on their faces. The most expressive dog, the bull dog. Then you find them cuddled up on the couch together, in the sunny spot. Always snuggled with at least one limb touching the other one, so it would seem. We are with our people now, we don’t need to be disturbed. They like us working from home. My epitaph will be, The bulldogs are in the sun.

When I don’t want people to know how much pot I’ve been smoking, usually the significant other, I employ what I call the two bag method. I buy two bags instead of one. I secrete one bag somewhere easily accessible in the house, and every morning, and I get up early now, a hang over from all the big cases, but they’re gone now, but the early rising hasn’t, I swap them over. Every morning, I swap one bag for the other. You have to keep it up every morning, then it goes seamlessly.

I got up early, too early, 5am. Stupid early, I couldn't sleep. Ben says it is my subconscious waking me, because it knows I have pot to smoke.  Don’t you start. Yes, already Whatever? I got really stoned before 8am, and I followed Nolan Gould on Instagram. I'm very happy to read he is 21 now. The first time I looked up his age, after I had been noticing him more and more, doesn’t bare thinking about. Good for him. I have no trouble saying, now, he is damn cute. One fine looking boy. Probably still creepy.

I met up with my cousin Mitchell. He came over for a smoke, bad him. We joked about how neither of us have downloaded the government app. Te hee, te hee. He said lockdown was getting to him, he just had to get out of the house. We sat on my back veranda. I told him about Ben. “Didn’t he have a girlfriend?” “Not anymore.” “I know a guy who plays football with Ben.” “Oh, really who?” “Andre Darren.” “The red head?” “Yes, that is him.” “How do you know him?” “Oh, look Josh, there is something I have been meaning to tell you,” said Mitchell. “I’m… I’m… I’m gay.” “Well.” I always knew. “Welcome to the team.” “You didn’t know.” “Oh, no…” tell the truth. “It didn’t… er… doesn’t come as a complete surprise.” “I wanted to tell you before this, but I have only come to terms with it now myself.” “That’s okay, I get it.” “Thanks.” “Does the whole family know?” “Yes.” “How was your mum and dad.” “Mum was hysterical about grandchildren, until dad pointed out she had two, presumably heterosexual, and...

It's always on time, that is there is always time for it, no matter what stage we are at, no matter where life has taken us.